Smiling Through the Pain
by taylorjeanjn
Summary: “Rosalie? It’s Bella. Please. You have to help me.” I was whispering as low as I possibly could, and speaking quickly; a habit that I had when I was nervous. There was a brief pause on the other end of the line... Book 2 in Breaking Dawn from BPOV.
1. Edward's Final Minutes of Happiness

**A/N: Okay, first off, if you haven't read up to Book #3 in Breaking Dawn yet…don't read this story. It'll obviously spoil big parts of it.**

**So, for this first chapter, I'm going to start right before Stephenie Meyer left off. The rest of this story will either be the scenes where Jake is there (in which the dialogue will remain the same) or original writing in the places where Jacob was absent.**

**EDIT: To any of you have already read this story, please know that I have gone back and fixed some grammar, dialogue, etc. based on reviews that I've received with suggestions or what I've learned as a writer since I wrote this. **

**I own none of this. The credit goes to the very talented Stephenie Meyer and her publishing company.**

* * *

Nervously, I looked through his already-programmed numbers, terrified that he would catch me. After hesitating for just a second, I pressed the send button on his phone.

"Hello?"

"Rosalie? It's Bella. Please. You have to help me," I murmured as low as I possibly could. My words came out quickly, one after another—a habit I had when I was nervous. There was a brief pause on the other end of the line.

"Bella? What's… going on?" Even over the phone, I could hear the shock in her voice.

"Listen, Edward…well he could be back any minute, and he _can't know_ that I talked to you." I took a deep breath before beginning my monologue. "Rosalie, I'm sure you've heard from Carlisle what happened." I paused briefly and when she didn't contradict me, I took that as a 'yes'. Feeling a lump rising in my throat, I continued, "Edward wants to kill the baby. _My_ baby. Please Rosalie, please help me. On my own I can't do anything, but you're strong. _You_ could. Please, will you help me to protect this baby when I get back?"

"Yes." Her voice was faint, as if she still hadn't comprehended the situation. There was another small pause before, in an almost fierce voice, Rosalie repeated, "Yes."

As soon as she uttered that single word, I felt like I could fly. My baby boy was going to be alright as long as I didn't clue Edward in on this plan until it was too late for him to change it.

"Th-thank you so much," I managed to choke out as a few rapid tears slid down my cheek. "You have no idea what this means to me. But I've got to go before Edward gets back…Thank you," I couldn't help but repeat one last time before clicking the phone off.

Edward returned just a few seconds after the call was done and the phone had been returned to its place. My heart squeezed as I imagined what would have happened if Edward had come just a few minutes earlier. Everything would have been ruined.

* * *

I could barely breathe and I was starting to feel a little nauseous. Not the kind of nauseous I had been getting right before I hurled or anything, just an uncomfortable one.

Edward and I were still on the plane and it was the final few minutes before we landed and were reunited with his family. As soon as that happened, he would know. He would know that I had called Rosalie and made plans behind his back. He would know that I wasn't giving my baby up without a fight. And he would know that there were going to be some rough times ahead. But it would be worth it.

Once I had my baby boy, and he got to hold the cherubic child that we had produced, he would understand, and he would feel no regret over whatever conflicts there had been during the pregnancy.

Knowing what a terrible liar I was, I had remained nearly silent on the plane ride, only saying anything when asked a direct question. The secret was just too vital to risk talking or giving something away with my voice or expression. The only time that my resolve had wavered was when I had been frowning silently out the window, remembering the last few moments at Isle Esme.

Edward had returned just mere seconds after my phone call with Rosalie ended, looking thoroughly distressed though he tried hard to hide it. As soon as he saw my troubled expression he hurried over to me and gave me a tight hug.

"It's going to be fine, Bella. I promise," he had said. I had been unable to meet his eyes, afraid that he would dazzle me. If he did, I'd probably ruin everything with my expression or blurt out something stupid without meaning to.

That, combined with my silence on the plane, had given Edward the wrong impression. He thought that I was _mad_ at him. Frowning in both annoyance and guilt, I let out a long sigh. I should have seen that coming. Edward blamed himself for _everything_.

I struggled with the temptation to put my hands on both sides of his face and say, "Stop. I'm not mad at you. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. Calm_ down._"

But before I had the chance to say any of the things I wanted to, he took both of my shaking hands and attempted to make me meet his gaze…again. When I stubbornly refused, flushing slightly, he sighed too. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I know that this all my fault and you have every right to be angry with me. And I understand that you're scared, but there's really no need to be. Nothing can hurt you." He gently ran his fingers along my cheek.

I fought the strong urge to groan; he was reassuring me for the wrong thing. I wasn't worried about _me_ at all. It was him. It was the pain that I was going to put him through.

Guilt-ridden, I glared at the seat in front of me. "Edward, please. You haven't done anything wro-." My voice caught in my throat as the speakers above turned on and a woman's cheery voice filled the plane.

"We will begin descending in about four minutes. Please take your seats, store all carry-on items properly, fasten your seatbelts, and prepare for landing."

I took this as an excuse to turn away from him, and I quickly shoved the book that had been sitting open in my lap into the carry-on bag I'd brought with me. Well, _attempted _to shove anyway. I actually ended up dropping it twice because my book-shoving skills are crap, or maybe my hands were trembling too violently to work properly.

Those last four minutes on the plane went by far faster than I would have liked. It was like a countdown of Edward's last happy moments for a while and it was nearly killing me.

'_Maybe he won't take it _that _badly. Maybe he had a sudden change of heart and gets the importance of the baby now,'_ I tried to convince myself, repeating those thoughts over and over in my head. Still, I knew him well enough to know that he _didn't_ have a change of heart, _would_ take the news badly, and he _still_ didn't get how much I needed my baby boy.

When we finally did land, I didn't even realize it. I was too busy sitting numbly in my seat, thinking. Poor Edward. Hurting him pained me worse than if I was the one being hurt.

After nearly all the passengers on the plane had left, Edward grasped my hand, kissed it, and then helped me up. Still detached, I grabbed my carry-on and slung it over my shoulder. It was there for a grand total of about two point six seconds before the weight was gone.

I couldn't help but sigh. "Edward, come on. I can carry my own bag. It doesn't exactly weight a whole lot." In response, he looked at me for a few seconds—probably resisting the urge to roll his eyes—before stepping out into the aisle so I could get out ahead of him. Unwillingly, he handed me my bag.

Slowly, I made my way out of the plane and into the airport. Almost immediately, their allure setting them apart from all of the people scurrying around them, I spotted the Cullens. As I did, Edward stiffened next to me. Obviously Rosalie was thinking about our conversation, so there really was no point in trying to hide any more.

I rushed over towards her. When I was still about fifteen feet away from Rose, my bag got caught on one of the nearby chairs and I tripped yet again, nearly tumbling into a businessman that was walking close in front of me. Stupid thing.

Blushing red, I continued forward and ran straight into Rose's outstretched arms, sobbing by the time I got there. I had done it. The plan was set in motion, and now my baby was safe. But why then did I feel like crying tears of pain instead of joy? Edward had reached Rosalie and I, and he looked ready to kill.

As I stared at his face, I forgot how to breathe, how to move, and even how to talk. I could only manage to gaze into my angel's eyes. I bit down on my lip, fighting back the fresh tears that were yet again going to come. There was a large amount of agony in his eyes, but more clearly I could see pure and intense fury. I wasn't sure if it was directed towards me or Rosalie; probably both.

I took a few shaky breaths, before spluttering in a weak voice, "E-Edward…I'm…I'm so sor- ." My voice caught in my throat and I couldn't finish my apology. Nothing would come out.

I was such a horrible and disloyal wife.

"Wait…what?" Emmett asked, looking both annoyed and confused as he scanned all three of our faces. No one answered, so he cleared his throat and demanded in a louder voice, "What's going on?"

I opened my mouth to try to talk to Edward again, but Rosalie beat me to it. "It's her choice! We all know you're overprotective, but your paranoia isn't going to kill an innocent baby." Rose was mad now too.

I turned back towards Edward, planning on pretty much saying the same thing as her, except phrasing it differently, in a kinder way. But I was wordless again when I saw the look that he was giving Rosalie. He was shooting daggers, and if we weren't in such a public place, I wouldn't be surprised if he were to attack her. He even growled.

I closed my eyes, feeling more tears gently trickling down my face. No matter what I did, I ended up hurting someone. I seemed to have that effect on people. Not sure what I was going to say, but needing to say something, _anything_, I opened my mouth to speak. Once again, someone else beat me to it, but this time it was three voices at once.

"Perhaps this isn't… the best place," Carlisle hinted, indicating the small audience that had gathered, at the same time that Edward had hissed, "Paranoia?! This isn't paranoia!" I had also heard Emmett ask, "But you're not having the baby are you? How can he kill it then?"

It was too much for me; my brain was just too sluggish to follow the multiple conversations that were going on. At that moment, I just needed to lie down before I passed out or something similar.

"Carlisle's right," I began in a quiet voice, almost too low to hear, but each of them went silent and turned towards me. Jeez, my voice sounded hoarse. I tried clearing my throat before going on. "Now's not really the…um….time…" I trailed off near the end because Edward looked ready to attack Rose.

"_This is not open for discussion. _She's a _human_! Her body isn't made to handle this." I guessed that Edward was responding to her thoughts. Abruptly, he said, "Jasper, _stop_ it." So Jasper was trying to calm everyone down. I wondered what would have happened if Jasper hadn't been using his gift all along. Based on both Edward and Rosalie's expressions, a fight didn't seem like too much of a stretch.

Rosalie and I both opened our mouths to dispute what Edward had just said, but another voice cut in sharply. "_Enough_." Alice sounded pissed now too. I wondered if she was with me and Rose or Edward. I frowned, realizing that I'd managed to split his family in half.

Jasper laid a hand on Edward's shoulder, ignoring the furious look that he received when he did. Glancing between the three of us, he said, "Calm down. Bella, Alice and I will take you and Edward in the Volvo. Rose, you and Emmett can go with Carlisle and Esme."

Rose's reaction was immediate. "Of course not! Do you think I'm an idiot?" I heard Edward mutter something malicious under his breath. "Oh, shut up, Edward."

"_Fine_. You and Edward can ride with Bella and I. Alice and Emmett will go with Esme and Carlisle." Was there anybody who _wasn't_ going to get mad today? Even Jasper was getting annoyed.

"Fine," Rose and Edward said at the same time, glaring at each other.

This was going to be one heck of a car ride.


	2. An Eventful Car Ride

**I own none of this. The credit goes to the very talented Stephenie Meyer and her publishing company, Little Brown.**

In the car, hostility was tangible. There was a stony silence, and everyone was glaring out the window in opposite directions. This was definitely not how I had wanted our reunion with the Cullens to be. We'd been in the car for about five minutes, and I had nervously tried to start multiple conversations about anything at all, but everyone else was perfectly content to just glower out the window, getting madder and madder as they thought the conversation at the airport over. Of course, I felt awful. I'd pretty much forced his family to draw lines and choose sides either with or against their loved ones. It was just like me to screw things up and put a strain on Edward's family. There really would be no choice. Sides would be chosen, heated arguments would happen, and some relationships just might break if the wrong things were said and done.

Carlisle would probably side with Edward. They tended to see eye-to-eye on most things, well except for the issue of me becoming a vampire, but that was beside the point. And Esme…would side with…I wasn't sure. She of all people would understand a mother's love for a child, but that could hurt me too. She loved Edward enough that any pain of his would be just as painful to her. I kind of doubted that she would be able to remain neutral, but I supposed that she could try if she wanted to. As to Jasper, he was another question mark. Surely he could feel the love that I felt for my baby, but just as strongly he could feel the pain that Edward was going through. And Alice—.

I jumped about half a foot in the air when I felt a not-so-timid bump from my nudger. I'd been so focused on the tension in the air that I hadn't noticed any nudges from my baby boy, if there had been any at all. But this one was hard enough that I definitely _did_ notice. Automatically, both of my hands dropped to my stomach, and I once again felt the need to reassure my baby. _Everything will calm done soon. It'll be ok. Nothing to worry about._ I didn't honestly believe that, but my little nudger's happiness was my number one priority.

"YOU SEE?! The thing can't be more than a few days old and it's _already_ hurting her!" I jumped again when Edward broke the silence. Despite the guilt I felt, I was tempted to aim a little kick at him. I'd probably break my toe or something though.

So instead I took a deep breath and turned to face him, regretting it when I did. He had his eyes were turned all the way up, and they were gazing deep into mine, conveying all the pain and anger that he was feeling. I felt lower than low. "Edward, I'm not in pain." Physically. "He just surprised me is all," My voice had come out with less conviction than I'd planned, making it sound like a question. As a result, I could see that Edward didn't believe me in the slightest. Looking irritated, he opened his mouth to respond but snapped his head to face Rosalie when she spoke in a cold voice.

"_Sure_ it's not paranoia, Edward. You only freak out whenever she moves, what's wrong with that? Nothing overprotective or stupid about it at all." Rosalie's voice was dripping heavily with sarcasm as she glared at him with narrowed eyes. Oh boy. We were out of a public place, and both Edward and Rosalie looked like they could snap any minute. Jasper must have sensed that too.

"Rosalie…" he began in a cautioning voice. I winced slightly; sure that Rosalie was going to bite off his head in response. She never got the chance to.

"_Shut up_, you_ pig-headed_, egotistical, idiotic—." Wow. Edward had snapped.

Rosalie hissed, before growling, "_I'm_ an idiot?! _I'm_ egotistical?! You're the one who wants to kill a helpless baby because you don't want to risk losing her!"

"_Risk_ losing her? She can't handle this; no human can! You're just feeding some insane idea of hers that she's strong enough!" Now I was mad. He was talking like I wasn't sitting right there, listening to every word he said. Yeah I _was_ strong enough. Like a little kid, I felt like shouting, "Am too!" but instead I bit my lip and remained silent.

"How do you know that she's not? She could very well be, but you've never given her the chance to show you! She'll be _fine_."

"That confirms it. You _are_ an idiot."

"SHUT UP!"

Jasper cleared his throat, looking into the back mirror and watching the fight as he drove.

"Jasper's smart. At least _he_ has the slightest grasp on reality." Edward nearly shouted. I frowned. I guessed that Jasper had just chosen his side; Edward's.

"NOT YOU TOO!" Rosalie had shrieked so loud that I had to cover my ears.

"Well…yes. We can't ignore the facts Rosalie. I agree with Edward. It'd be foolish to let Bella go through with the pregnancy."

"But it's _not_. I'm strong enough to have a _baby_ for crying out loud." I contradicted, trying to make it sound like it wasn't that big of a deal. No one was fooled in the slightest.

"Stop it Bella. You don't understand. You didn't hear the woman like I did." Edward said, wincing slightly.

"I thought you said that those legends were just for the sake of entertainment!"

"_Some_ of them are." So now he was changing his story. Nice.

"Bella, just think about it." Jasper said with an apologetic look on his face.

"There's nothing to think about!" Rosalie cut in. Chaos broke out.

"Be _quiet_." Edward hissed, while Jasper said to me, "Bella it would be very dangerous for you. Fatal even." While I had growled, "Rose's right. There's nothing to think about."

Amidst the yelling going on in the car, the phone in Edward's bag rang. He ignored it, too busy shouting at Rosalie. Since he was sitting next to me, I just sighed and reached across him to pull it out of the bag and answer it.

"Hello?" I answered. On the other line the person who called (it sounded like Alice) said something that I couldn't hear because of the noise level inside the Volvo.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU." I was pretty much yelling into the phone.

"I WAS CALLING TO SEE HOW THE RIDE WAS GOING."

In response to her comment I silently held the phone out towards the argument going on between Rose, Jasper, and Edward.

"DID I JUST HEAR SOMEONE CALL SOMEONE ELSE A 'HEARTLESS JERK'?"

"THAT WAS ROSE."

I heard Alice sigh.

"PUT EDWARD ON PLEASE."

Silently, I poked Edward until he turned away from Rose to look at me. "Here." I muttered as I handed him the phone.

Without Edward contributing to the conversation the volume dropped considerably. Rose and Jasper continued to bicker, but there was no yelling involved.

"Alright. _Fine_. We will. Bye." He clicked the phone off before turning to Rose. "Alice saw Carlisle having to fix up your hand." He looked a little bit smug as he said it.

"You wouldn't _dare_," Rosalie hissed in return.

Edward simply ignored her, turning back to glower out the window again. So did Rosalie. It seemed like the fight was over for now. Good, because I wasn't sure how much more I could handle.

We drove the rest of the way home in silence, only broken by the occasional huff or curse from Edward. It took me a little while to figure out that he was reading Rosalie's thoughts.

The second that we arrived at the Cullen's house, Rose and Jasper jumped out of the Volvo. I saw Jasper enter the house, but Rosalie stood around the garage, watching Edward, who helped me out, and this time ignored my protests when I told him I could carry my own stupid bag. Completely abandoning our luggage that was in the trunk of the car and holding my hand, he led me into his house, with Rosalie watching us both like a hawk the whole time.


	3. The First Day Back

**Thanks a heap to everybody who favorited, subscribed to, or reviewed this story! ROCK ON! –does rock on sign-**

**I own none of this. The credit goes to the talented Stephenie Meyer and her publishing company, Little, Brown.**

As Edward led me into the house, closely followed by Rose, I felt a strange need to look around and see if anything had changed. I couldn't believe that I'd been there just a few weeks ago. My life had been so drastically affected while I was away that it was hard to wrap my head around the idea that the rest of the world had remained completely the same, oblivious to the suddenly complicated life that Edward and I had both been living since we realized that I was pregnant.

I was startled out of my reverence by Rosalie's voice behind me. "Carlisle? Can you come over here?" She didn't bother yelling because Carlisle would hear her, no matter where he was in the house.

Edward turned back to face her and I immediately gripped his arm. I wasn't sure if she had thought something rude that didn't match her words, but it was definitely a possibility. The last thing I wanted was another argument before I could recuperate from the last one.

"You know that won't change anything." Edward had murmured before turning back to face the front. I wasn't quite sure what to make of his comment, but, as long as there were no insults involved from either side, I thought that the little exchange between the two of them deserved a round of applause.

About three seconds later, Carlisle appeared at the bottom of the stairs, looking expectantly at Rose. "Yes?"

"Edward's brain isn't working quite right today. I think he's traumatized or something." I noticed Edward roll his eyes. "He doesn't believe me that there really isn't much danger in Bella going through with this and having the baby. Edward seems to be under the impression that I'm an idiot, so maybe you could talk some sense into him." She had finished with a proud expression, obviously pleased that she could have found a way to fit multiple insults into a few short sentences.

Carlisle frowned and gazed at Edward for a few seconds. Whatever Carlisle was thinking, it caused agony to flash across his face, before disappearing again.

"Rosalie…I don't really….think so." He was obviously uncomfortable with choosing a side in this little mini-war that I had started, but he didn't want to lie to keep the peace either.

"What do you mean you don't _think_ so?" Rosalie asked in a deadly voice.

"I think that Edward's right."

Edward smugly turned around to look at Rosalie. "I think you said, well I should say 'thought', it all a few seconds ago. Carlisle's a doctor, so if anybody would know what to do, it would be him. That makes it final. This has got to end _now_."

"Edward. Stop it. I'm not ending anything." I said, my voice ringing with a finality that it hadn't had during the reunion at the airport or during that car ride. The one good thing that came from the heated argument on the way home was that I now understood exactly how tough I was going to have to be. I would stick to my guns, with Rosalie helping me by the whole time.

"Bella, _please_. The legend that the old woman--." I cut him off.

"I don't care about what the legend said, Edward."

"But you should! Bella you just don't understand the situation. If you did, you wouldn't want to kill yourself for some… _thing_!"

"Would you stop calling him that please? And I'm not _killing_ myself for anything! Nothing's going to happen." I snapped. I hated being sharp with Edward, but first I would need to get him out of denial that this was actually happening, then I would help him see the light. Severity was the only way that I knew how. If I didn't come across strong, he would assume I was lying about everything.

"This is not up for negotiation!" I couldn't help but smile a little bit when he said that. "Why are you smiling?!" Maybe he thought I was crazy.

"Don't you remember? You said that when I got back from sneaking out to Jacob's house. It was some time before graduation." I was grinning because I had won _that_ argument too. It was definitely a sign. "You were terrified that I was going to get hurt then too. But _nothing happened_."

"This is different."

"How so?"

"It will…you could _die_, Bella." His voice shook slightly, and I could see the pain that this was already putting him through. I completely lost that 'I've made my decision, so deal with it.' kind of mood that I'd been in a few seconds ago.

I put one hand on each side of his face and looked him straight in the eye. "I just _can't_ Edward. I love him already. I can't abandon him when he's helpless like this." Just a few fresh tears fell down my face.

I could see my tears moving him, and I held my breath, inwardly praying that he finally understood what was going through my head. That hope vanished as soon as he started talking.

"I'm sorry I'm hurting you so much," He whispered, wiping the tears off my face.

"_Stop _that."

"Stop what?" He looked thoroughly confused.

"You think that _you're_ hurting_ me_?"

He sighed. "I know I am." I threw my hands in the air with an annoyed grunt and gave up.

"You really don't get it. You seriously think that this whole mini-war is your fault."

Rosalie, who had remained silent the whole time, cut in. "It _is_ his fault. He's being stupid."

Edward had lost all his fire. He just hung his head, agreeing with her. Obviously I would be forever grateful to Rosalie for the favor that she was doing me, but I couldn't watch her tear him down when he was already on the ground.

"Please don't, Rose. I feel terrible as it is." Which was the truth. I felt like I deserved a good hard kick.

"What do you have to feel bad about? You're doing the _right thing_." Rosalie said sharply, while Edward just stared at me in disbelief.

"I'm sorry I'm hurting you so much," I said, stealing his line from before. In response, Edward just groaned.

"We need to talk about the way you see yourself," Rosalie muttered, rolling her eyes. I just bit my lip. I saw myself perfectly fine. I was a terrible wife, a disloyal daughter…

"What about Charlie?"

"What about him?" Both Rosalie and Edward had asked at the same time.

"I'm back. I could call him or something. See him one… one last time." I choked up a bit at the end, causing Edward to give my right hand (which was now hand-in-hand with his left) a squeeze.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Carlisle said, startling me. I'd pretty much forgotten that he was there.

"Why not?"

"You're planning on going through with the baby?"

"Yeah."

"I think that the only way that you would come out of the pregnancy would be for us to transform you into a vampire." Carlisle didn't explain anymore, so I guessed that I was missing something completely obvious. I just stared at him looking dumbfounded.

Edward murmured, "If he didn't see you again, it might be easier for him to…let you go." Oh. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"Well, a call might be okay. Maybe. Let's just get settled in for a few days. Maybe then you could call him." Edward didn't look like he really believed that that was the right thing to do, but he couldn't stand seeing my cry yet again.

"Thanks." I said, my lower lip trembling.

"I said _maybe_, Bella." He reminded me.

"I know." I felt like I needed closure of some kind. I wasn't quite ready to say goodbye yet. I _would_ call Charlie, no matter what.


	4. The Decision's Been Made

**I own none of this. The credit goes to Stephenie Meyer and her publishing company, Little, Brown.**

Carlisle had heard enough and I had too. Rosalie and Edward's shouts had been echoing throughout the house for the past ten minutes straight. It was amazing how quickly things could get heated up. I was preparing to intervene when Carlisle did so himself. "This isn't how we're going to spending the remainder of the pregnancy. We need to make a decision and we need to make it now, and both of you need to accept whatever it is."

"_We?"_ Rosalie asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes, we."

"I know it'll be a shock Rosalie, really, but the world doesn't revolve around _you _and _you're_ decisions. The whole family is going to be affected by this. I don't care if you fed some ridiculous idea to Bella that this won't hurt anyone. You and I both know better than that." Edward growled.

"You're the only one that would get hurt, and that's just because you're being a pain. If you just _accepted_ it—" Edward opened his mouth to retort.

"Don't start." I cautioned in a weary voice. His mouth snapped closed, though I could hear him grinding his teeth.

"Why don't we take a vote?" Carlisle asked after an awkward pause, glancing between me, Edward, and Rose. I considered that. I guessed that it wouldn't really matter what the verdict would be because Rose and I would never give in, and I strongly doubted that Edward would either. It seemed kind of pointless. Besides, what if the majority _did_ vote with Edward? Surely the family could take Rose down if they felt that they needed to. They could take care of my nudger, and then fix her up again when it was all over. That thought made me shiver, though I wasn't cold.

"I'd rather not."

"So you _do _know that this isn't a good idea then!"

"I never said that, Edward."

He snorted. I was sure that he was thinking '_But you implied it.'_, which I had on accident. I didn't mean it like that; it had come out wrong.

"I don't see why not." Edward said, turning towards Carlisle.

"I don't want to have a vote."

"Well we're having one." He said firmly, grasping my hand and leading me towards the "dining room" that was only there for show. "Esme? Jasper? Emmett? Alice?" He called.

Unwillingly, and sulking slightly, I sat down in one of the large chairs at the table. Rose immediately took the seat to my left, Edward the one to my right. As they did so, Rosalie seemed to have thought something malignant, because Edward hissed and yet again opened his mouth to retort.

"You both really need to calm down," Jasper's said, appearing in the doorway and making me jump. "You guys are mad enough that it's overshadowing all the other emotions everybody else has got."

Alice joined Jasper in the doorway, and the next second, they were both sitting next to each other, on Edward's left. Next came Emmett, who sat on Rose's right, shortly followed by Carlisle and Esme.

"I'm guessing that you all heard why we're meeting in the conversation that we were having earlier." Carlisle began, not needing to call the meeting to order or whatever because everyone had been sitting silently, gazing at him expectantly.

"Unfortunately. We've heard everything that's been going on since we all got home from the airport. They weren't exactly _quiet_." Alice mumbled under her breath, indicating Edward and Rosalie, rolling her eyes.

"Well, like I said earlier, we can't go on like this for who knows how long."

"So we're taking a vote."

"_Yes_ Alice." I could see that Carlisle didn't like being interrupted twice in a row.

Alice groaned, confusing me. That was kind of a weird reaction.

"You can't _see _her anymore?" Edward asked sounding shocked.

"No. It's driving me crazy." That was really… strange. And creepy. Everyone was silent for a few seconds, absorbing the news.

"Sorry about that, I guess." I muttered, looking down at the table.

"_Anyways_—" Emmett hinted, sounding slightly annoyed, indicating Carlisle. Edward, Alice, and I all stopped our side conversation immediately.

"We need to decide whether or not to end the pregnancy."

"Of course that doesn't change anything." Rose said, staring down everyone at the table.

"Once again, the world doesn't revolve around _you_. This family doesn't either." Edward snapped.

Carlisle stepped in before things could get heated for the fourth time today. "I agree with Edward. That's my vote."

Everyone turned towards Esme, who was sitting next to Carlisle. She looked at Edward with remorse on her face. "I disagree. I can sympathize with Bella's reasoning. I'm sorry, Edward." Current score: Team Me: 3 (Me, Rose, and Esme). Team Edward: 3. (Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper).

"Alice?" Carlisle asked, causing us to all turn to face her.

She sat silently, her face smooth as she made her decision. "I vote with Carlisle."

What the heck? That one hurt. I knew that Alice didn't want to see me get hurt, but she wasn't nearly as overprotective as Edward. I'd been counting on her vote. "_Why?_" I asked incredulously.

"I think it's the best thing to do." Alice said simply.

"You're _wrong_."

"Or I could be _right_, Bella. Think about what this would do to you. To all of us."

"You're all making this into something bigger than it is." I muttered stubbornly, crossing my arms and openly glaring at her. She stared back at me for a few seconds before shrugging and looking back at Carlisle.

"Jasper?" Carlisle cut in before I could say anything else.

"My vote remains the same as earlier." Dang it. My face fell, hope flying out the window. Edward had won the most votes…but it didn't matter. Not in the slightest.

"He's with me." Edward explained to the rest of the family that hadn't heard the conversation during car ride home.

"Emmett?"

"It doesn't matter. Edward will still have more votes."

Carlisle turned towards me, his face was obviously relieved that the votes had come out the way that they had, but still pitying. "He's right, Bella."

"Edward…" I began, turning away from Carlisle to face him. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but I didn't have a chance to say anything else.

"THE DECISION HAS ALREADY BEEN MADE," he snarled at Rose, putting emphasis on each word. His voice was low and dangerous, as if daring her to dispute what he had said. She did.

"I told you before. It _doesn't change anything_," Rosalie growled back, the danger in her voice matching his. Here we go again.

"We are ending this _now_." I recognized the voice he was using as the one he had used when telling Jacob that he would break his jaw if he ever kissed me again. I could hear a definite threat behind his words. It was time to stop this before the threat in his voice turned to action.

"Look, I'm sorry that the votes turned out the way that they did," I began addressing the rest of the Cullens and ignoring both Edward and Rosalie. "But that really doesn't effect my decision. If you don't want me to have the baby, then I guess I could always leave," I suggested in a half-hearted voice, knowing that Edward, or the rest of his family for that matter, would never allow it.

"This is all _your_ fault," I heard Edward whisper to Rosalie, still threatening. Then he addressed me. "Bella there's no way you're leaving. The whole family made the decision. Clearly I'm not being ridiculously paranoid, because everyone else seems to understand the situation too." He was _still_ in denial.

"I understand the situation perfectly, thank you." I said in a cold voice. He was insulting my common sense.

"No you don't, and if we wait for you to catch up, it might be too late. Come on." I just stared at him. "Don't be difficult, please." I still didn't move.

He sighed and I guess stood up because in the next second he was pulling my chair out for me. He gently took my hand and started helping me up from the chair.

"What are you doing?"

"Protecting you from yourself." He said grimly.

So much happened in about two seconds. Rosalie growled and ripped me from his grasp, and Edward crouched down in an attack position. He was done screwing around. In the next second, he lunged.

**-cue intense fight music- :D Anyways, hope you liked it. If you've got a second, please review. And yes, Bella does see Edward as a bit of a bad guy right now, so no death threats okay? I feel your pain too ;) **


	5. Discovering Side Effect 1

**I own none of this. It's the property of Stephenie Meyer and Little, Brown.**

Alice yanked me away from Rosalie, and out of any possible harm's way, just a second before Edward reached Rose. He was growling and he looked ready to rip her head off. This was _exactly_ what I'd been afraid of. I had been right in thinking that a vote was stupid and pointless.

Rosalie crouched down as well, preventing him from attacking. I could feel my legs shaking. Rosalie could get hurt, or Edward. Someone needed to step in, and now before either of them made one wrong move and ended up loosing an arm or something.

The rest of the family seemed to be thinking along those lines too. Jasper jumped into the almost nonexistent space between them, attempting to push them apart. Hopefully Edward and Rose weren't so angry that they would try to fight around him, hurting him in the process as well.

Distracted by Jasper, I almost didn't notice Emmett move. Carefully, so as not to piss Edward off any further, he crept up behind him and grabbed his arm firmly, and started tugging him out of the room. Edward, who had also been focused on Rose and Jasper, hadn't noticed Emmett until he was already being pulled away. He took a second to react, before trying to free his arm from Emmett's grasp. Thankfully, it didn't work.

I turned my attention back to Jasper and Rosalie. She seemed to have calmed down a large amount, so that was good. Jasper was probably using his gift as much as he could. I could almost feel a calm cloud falling over the room, though I still felt a huge amount of panic, just below the surface. Maybe the panic was the reason that I was starting feel a little bit…tipsy.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Edward asked in a concerned voice, surprising me. Maybe Jasper wasn't trying to get the room to calm down like I thought. Maybe he was trying to make everyone forget the emotions they'd been feeling for the past minute or so. It was the only logical explanation that I could come up with for  
Edward's abrupt concern. Was that even possible?

"Um…yeah. Why?" I could hear the confusion I was feeling in my voice.

In the next second he was at my side, with Emmett hovering behind cautiously. "You're white."

"…Yeah?" Sometimes I got pale when I was in shock. Surely he knew that by now.

"You haven't eaten anything since we were at the island, have you?" He was scrunching his eyebrows, assessing me.

"No." I answered. Of course not. How could I have been hungry when I knew what was awaiting Edward when we reunited with his family?

"It's been hours, Bella. You should have said something." His voice was disapproving.

"I'm not hungry yet." Just the thought of food made me feel kind of queasy. It sounded…gross, which was really weird, considering the amount that I had been eating over the past few days. It was strange that all food would suddenly sound so disgusting.

"Why are you feeling appalled?" He looked just as confused as I felt. He must have been reading Jasper's thoughts.

"Because she's forced to be in the same room with _you_." I heard Rosalie mutter. Thankfully, Edward chose to ignore her. Tugging at my arm, he led me into the kitchen. The rest of the family, murmuring, started walking the other way. Well everyone but Rose, who followed Edward and I into the kitchen silently.

"Here, we'll get some food in you. Hopefully you'll get some of your color back."

"I'm not _hungry_."

"Has my behavior really traumatized you so much that you aren't eating?" He asked, trying to lessen the tension that I still was feeling. That must be his new approach. He would be nonchalant about the whole pregnancy, probably trying to make me soften up enough for him to change my mind.

"No. I'm just not hungry yet." I crossed my arms. I didn't need him to remind me when a human needed to eat, I could do it myself. I _was_ a human.

"Just for my peace of mind, then," He said with a somewhat pained smile, handing me an apple that had been sitting on the counter.

"Ew." How could I want to eat that? It looked _nasty_.

"What do you mean 'ew'? You _like_ apples."

"Not anymore."

"Please Bella? For me?" He opened his eyes wide, making them look innocent, though still managing to convey that he would continue to argue his point if I refused.

"_Fine_ then. It's just a stupid apple." I snatched it out of his hand, feeling unnecessarily and unexplainably moody. With a grimace, I bit down on it, and chewed quickly, resisting the urge to spit it back out.

I forced the rest of the apple down, feeling oddly disappointed. It felt like I _was _hungry, just not for that. There was something else that I wanted.

"Are you still hungry?" Edward asked after throwing away the apple core. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach.

In response to his question, I shrugged. That was all I could manage. I was preoccupied with making it to the bathroom before I soiled his lovely white carpet, or any other part of the house.

"Bella?" He asked, catching up to me, while Rose followed behind him.

I pushed the door to the bathroom open, hurried to the toilet, and threw up the horrible apple that I had just eaten. I was vaguely aware of Edward sitting down next to me, and then calling for someone to bring me some water. Carlisle obliged.

As I drank the water, Carlisle asked Edward, "Has she been able to keep anything down?"

"No." His voice was strained. I gave his shoulder a reassuring pat with the hand that wasn't holding the glass of water.

"That's not…normal." Carlisle was staring at me. I sighed. Maybe he was going to try to freak me out enough that I wouldn't be brave enough to have my baby.

"Yeah it is. Morning sickness is one of the most common signs of pregnancy, Carlisle." I felt kind of stupid telling a doctor this, but if he was going to play dumb…

"No, I didn't mean morning sickness. I meant that you haven't been able to keep anything down. That's what's not normal. You _need _to be able to keep food down to keep both you and the baby healthy."

Fine. Even if whatever food I ate was totally appalling, I _would_ keep it down, for my baby's sake. "I'll try another apple."

Carlisle was gone for about four seconds, and then he returned with another one. "Here." He handed it to me, watching me carefully. I took a bite, chewed more slowly this time, and got sick yet again twenty seconds later.

We continued testing my stomach, with different foods, but continuously got the same result. I was all for trying again, for my nudger, but Edward stopped Carlisle before he could hand me the piece of buttered bread that we were going to try next.

"We've tested enough, Carlisle." Frowning, I opened my mouth to argue when he silenced me with a finger. "Bella, I… I can't watch you go through that again." He really didn't need to tell me; his face said it all. His expression was tortured.

"There's always tomorrow," I said, nodding. The soft, cushy couch was calling my name though it was barely past nine o'clock.

"Tomorrow then." Carlisle agreed.


	6. A Sleepless Night

**I own none of this. The rights go to Stephenie Meyer and her publishing company, Little, Brown.**

Despite the exhaustion that I had felt after throwing up numerous times, and having a really emotionally taxing day, I still hadn't managed to sleep for more than two hours at a time. The sleep that I _was_ managing to get was uneasy and filled with different scenarios that all ended with me being in pain.

The first few times that these dreams abruptly went black, waking me, I was convinced that someone had given me the good, sharp kick that I deserved. I would walk up, panting, and scan the room wildly. Each time I looked, I saw Edward watching me and looking concerned, with Rosalie glowering at Edward and surely thinking thoughts to make his life miserable.

Eventually, after waking up for a fifth time, I gave up trying to understand what ever was going on with the weird dreams. Instead, I focused on being calm, knowing that every time I woke up gasping for reasons that Edward couldn't understand, he stiffened and, even through the dark, I could see the pain visible on his face.

Having been unceremoniously thrown from a strange dream that entailed someone throwing a golf ball at my non-pregnant stomach with an unnecessary amount of force, I closed my eyes, trying to force my breathing back into a normal pattern. Instantly, Edward and Rosalie were both at my side.

"What happened this time? Do you hurt anywhere?" Edward's eyes were wild as he watched me, preparing to bombard me with more questions.

"I don't know what happened. Same as last time I guess." I said shrugging, intentionally avoiding his second question. In truth, I _did_ hurt in a few places. My back felt strangely painful, as if I'd tried to bend over backwards and stretched it too far. So did my stomach. I guessed that it was just in my head, left over from the dream. I'd felt a bit sore every time that I had woken up. Each time I was thrown out of my dream, it almost seemed to hurt worse.

Edward noticed that I had dodged his second question too. "_Where does it hurt_?"

"It's not that bad, Edward, really." I said in an exhausted voice, still waking up.

"Why do you have to downplay everything?" He asked, looking at me with an expression that I had seen a lot. It was his 'You know you don't have to be tough; you can tell me' look.

I couldn't tell if his question was rhetorical or not, but I decided not to answer. Instead, I yawned, "What time is it?"

"Four." Rosalie answered, causing me to groan.

"What's wrong?" Edward and Rosalie both asked instantly.

"I'll be light soon. Once the sun comes up and I'm awake, I can't really get back to sleep. Not that the dark has done that much good tonight anyway," I added as an afterthought.

"You've got to be exhausted, Bella. Just try to go back to sleep." Edward said in a low and soothing voice, beginning to hum my lullaby.

Part of me wanted to drift back into my light sleep like Edward suggested, but the other part was terrified that I would have another nightmare like the one I had had after waking up for a third time. In it, the Volturi were after my angel-like boy again. That dream had caused so much more horror than any soreness in my back, pain in my belly, or freakish and suddenly ending dreams.

"I'll go…er…take a shower," I said as I stood up, stretching. I _was_ still sore, so it must not just be some mental thing, hanging over from my dreams.

"Is that really the best idea?" Edward asked in a gentle voice.

"Yes." I answered simply, before trying to repress another yawn. Only half awake, I shuffled towards the stairs, aware that Edward and Rosalie were following closely behind me. It was probably a good thing, because I felt lopsided, like I could fall forward at any second. Surely I couldn't be much bigger than I had been yesterday; maybe I was going insane due to sleep deprivation.

"I'll just…go in there then," I muttered, having a difficult time stringing a sentence together due to my current lack of brainpower. Hopefully the shower would wake me up enough to send my IQ back up to a decent level.

"I'll be out here," Rosalie said, leaning against the wall. I was sure that Edward would be waiting for me to finish too. I didn't think that their 24/7 presence was really necessary, but whatever made them happy…

Absently, I grabbed a towel and set it by the tub, and slid my clothes off. All together, that alone took me about five minutes, causing Edward to murmur through the door, "Are you alright?"

I nodded, stood there for a few seconds, and then realized that Edward couldn't see me. "Yeah, I'm fine." Through the door, I heard Rosalie mutter something that sounded suspiciously like 'Can you say _over-protective_?'

"Don't Rose." I called through the door, my voice sounding more alive and awake, remembering the many arguments yesterday.

Without even glancing in the mirror, worried of the mess that I would see when I did, I turned on the shower and got in. With my mind far away, feeling horrified as I recalled the nightmarish events yesterday, I felt another, and rather painful, nudge. '_Your Dad doesn't usually act like that. He'll be better once you're born.' _I explained, feeling overwhelmed with love for the kid that was growing inside of me.

Slowly, I finished my shower in a daze, with a ton of thoughts swarming through my head, making it impossible to focus. I was only pulled back into reality by the occasional nudges from my mini-Edward. How far along was he? What should I name him? How long was it going to be until he was born? What do you feed a half vampire baby?

With new questions popping up at a mile-an-hour, I nearly slipped and fell on the wet floor as I got out of the shower. I probably would have done that anyway though, so it didn't really matter. But a fall could hurt the baby, and that _did_ matter.

Forcing myself to focus, I dried off and pulled my old clothes back on. Being half-asleep, I had forgotten to grab a new outfit. Oh well, I could always change later, but there wouldn't really be a need. I wouldn't be leaving the house any time soon.

Once I was completely dressed, I did a quick check-over in the mirror, making sure that I hadn't put my shirt on backwards or something. I'd actually managed to do that before. But nope, as I'd hoped, my IQ was back up to normal. Upon seeing that I had indeed managed to put my clothes on right, I realized that something had changed. I let out an involuntary gasp.

HOW WAS THAT EVEN _POSSIBLE_? I looked bigger. Way bigger. _And _my bump was further defined. On a closer look, I also noticed that there was something purpleish that was showing up on the left side of my stomach, though it was obscured by my shirt.

Pulling it up, I gasped again. There were a few tiny, golf-ball sized bruises that were appearing on random places on my stomach. My…my mini-Edward had… done _that_? My angel had… hurt me? I was dumbfounded. He wouldn't do that.

"Bella?" I worried voice called through the door. "What's wrong?" He must have heard my gasps.

"N-nothing." I stuttered, still feeling horrified and confused at the same time.

"Can I come in please?" He sounded desperate.

"Huh?" What a brilliant response.

"I'm coming in." He said, not bothering to ask this time.

I heard what sounded like a key entering the lock and unlocking the door. After a few seconds, the door swung open.

"What _happened_?" He asked, looking distraught as his eyes zoned in on my bruised belly. I didn't even think to cover it up.

"What? What's going on?" I heard Rosalie ask, trying to edge past Edward to look at me.

My legs started shaking again. This was all happening _way_ too fast. I'd just realized that I was pregnant _yesterday _for crying out loud, and I was being _hurt_ by my little angel today. It was too much for me to handle. I felt like I could hurl again, though there really wasn't anything in my stomach to throw up.

I did anyway. I crouched over the toilet, coughing and feeling weaker than I had in a long a time (if ever). A glanced up at Edward, wanting to tell him that I would be fine. That he didn't need to watch me go through this. My words froze on my lips. He was…burning. If he were able to cry, surely he would be. He looked _bad_.

"Bella, _please_." I could guess what he wanted. He was begging me to stop putting him through the agony. He wanted mini-Edward to die. I felt too weak to shake my head, knowing how much pain I was going to cause him when I did. Then, everything went black.


	7. Waking Up

**I own none of this. The credit goes to the fabulous Stephenie Meyer and her publishing company, Little, Brown.**

I was lying across something soft and cushy and I could feel a pair of cool hands (most likely Edwards) gently running through my hair. They were trembling, which was a bad sign. Quite a bit of time must have passed since I'd gone unconscious on the bathroom floor to make him shake like that. He had been terrified when I'd been out for just five _minutes_ just a few months ago when we fought the battle with Victoria.

"Carlisle, you're absolutely _sure_ the baby's not hurt?" I heard Rosalie ask, somewhere to my right.

"You're worried about the _baby_?" Edward's voice growled dangerously, about a foot away. He said the word 'baby' as if it were the most appalling thing the world could ever know. I really didn't like the way that his voice was dripping with venom and sarcasm. It was time for me to wake up.

"Shouldn't she be?" I asked quietly, opening my eyes, but not sitting up. My whole body felt…heavy, like I wasn't quite strong enough to hold it up. Despite the time I had spent passed out, I still felt exhausted. My voice was hoarse, probably from not using it for at least a few hours.

"Bella! Do you feel alright?" Edward's asked in a voice that sounded like it wanted to be eager, but couldn't quite find the energy. He leaned over me, and I saw that his expression hadn't improved much since the last time I'd seen him before everything had gone black. In fact, he looked _worse_. The depth of the agony on his eyes was… disturbing and incredibly excruciating for me to see. Edward had never done anything to deserve that kind of pain.

"Edward, everything's going to be okay. You'll be fine." I said, my voice still weak. It cracked on the world 'fine'. I felt remorseful, while still knowing that it was a lost cause. Edward didn't understand (and probably wouldn't until our son was born) that there was a chance that I would come out of the pregnancy unscathed. Well…_mostly_ unscathed. I could deal with the bruises, and issues with eating.

"You're avoiding the question," He accused, managing to make his voice gentle, accusatory, and somewhat dead at the same time. Oh yeah, he'd asked me something. I had been distracted by his pain, too busy to actually understand his question.

"Bella?" He prompted, gazing at my face, probably searching for any hint of emotion that I betrayed. I worked hard to make my expression smooth and emotionless, like he'd done so many times before when hiding something from me. Surely, I would flush if I didn't want to answer whatever the question was, and that would give me away. Being a human was so… _inconvenient _(among other things). I let out a sigh.

"What was the question again?" I scrunched my eyebrows, as if confused. I didn't want him to think I was stalling, trying to come up with a good answer or something. I was probably over-acting it a bit.

"You're sure she didn't hit her head against the floor too hard Rosalie?" I heard Carlisle ask from the corner of the room.

"What? No! I didn't hit my head or anything like that. I just got…um…tired….and fell asleep." It sounded like crap to me, and everybody heard it too.

If Edward wasn't in so much pain, I was sure that he would've rolled his eyes. Instead, he just said my name once in a reproving voice.

"What?" I asked, as if I thought that he was asking me a question. Really, his voice was saying, 'Please don't insult our intelligence'.

Well, I wasn't going to tell them the truth. It would pain Edward so much if he heard me talking about how horrible I felt; how shocked, how overwhelmed, and how weak. It would probably scare him, and make him worry about what the baby was doing to my mental health, as well as physical. He had enough on his plate.

"How are you feeling? Do you hurt anywhere new?" He asked, gently tracing patterns up and down my arms, looking deep into my eyes. It didn't matter whether or not he could read my mind. He was like my personal vampire lie-detector when he did that.

"I feel fine. Nothing's wrong with me at all. I could go run a mile right now and be fine." I said, trying to sound bubbly and cheerful, basically the exact opposite of how I really felt. I tried to sit up to prove my point. It didn't work, though it _did_ seem to magnify my exhaustion.

"Bella, don't try to get up just yet. You're extremely over-stressed right now and you need to just relax and stay still for a few days so that you can let yourself get better." Carlisle said, looking grim. As he finished speaking, he was watching Edward. He could see the burning pain too.

"A few _days_?! A few hours maybe, but _days_ would just be ridiculous." I said, feeling the need to act a little bit tougher than I felt. The way that Carlisle talked made me sound like some wimpy girl who couldn't handle a little bit of trouble.

What I was feeling on the inside was a completely different matter. Just sleeping around, with Edward by my side and with a mini-Edward on the way was a beautiful picture. It seemed so peaceful to me. But deep down, I knew that the wonderful image that I had in my head would never happen. I was forgetting my future attempts to keep at least a little bit of food down, Edward's burning, the arguments between Rosalie and Edward, the bruises that would be showing up at a rapid pace, and the pure exhaustion that I would be feeling. Things like those didn't make up the image of perfection that I had in mind.

Deep in my thoughts, I just barely heard Rosalie say, "Bella, this rest isn't just for you, you know." Well that was what made the difference. It didn't matter if I wasn't in the best shape by my own doing, but I wouldn't put the baby in a poor condition because I needed to be macho. I would be a good mom, not a selfish one, from the very beginning.

"You're right," I mumbled. It was right about then when I realized how _hungry_ I was. I needed food badly. Even an apple sounded good, and, as of yesterday, I _hated_ apples. My stomach growled. "Time for day two of the experiment?" I asked Carlisle with a tiny smile, inwardly groaning. I probably just felt so weak because I was missing my energy food. Carlisle had been right when he had said that I _needed_ to be able to keep food down. It had been...how long since I'd last eaten?

"How long was I…sleeping?" I asked, stubbornly sticking to my story.

Rosalie was the one who answered, though my question had more so been directed towards Carlisle or Edward. "You were out for about six hours total. Some of that time you _were_ actually sleeping though." What did she mean 'some of the time'? How could they tell the difference between my sleeping and my being passed out?

"You were talking," Edward explained in a quiet voice, still staring at my face.

Uh oh. Maybe there had been no need to try to hide my stress and horror because they'd all heard it come spewing out of my unknowing mouth. So that was how Carlisle knew that I really needed to just lay around peacefully, without any additional stress.

"I think it might be good if you gave Charlie a call," Edward said, shocking me. Give Charlie a call? What was that about?

"Why?" I asked, curiously, while Carlisle left the room, most likely to get some food for my continuously growling stomach.

"You were talking about him." Was the only explanation that he gave.

"Um…okay." I said, biting my lip. I couldn't even remember Charlie cropping up in any of my dreams, so I had no idea what I had told Edward last night.

Carlisle returned seconds later, saltine crackers in hand. Wordlessly, he handed them to me, and the three of them turned to watch me hopefully.

I downed five crackers in about ten seconds, feeling starved. At first, I was thrilled when I managed to keep it down for forty-five seconds, then everyone's hope was shattered when I made good use of the large bowl that Carlisle had brought. Eating just a few crackers (and throwing them back up again) had sucked all of my energy away. Almost immediately, I fell back asleep and dreamed of Charlie and the phone call that I could hardly wait to make. It would be so nice to hear his voice one last time.


	8. Giving Charlie a Call

**I don't own ****Twilight**** or the characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer and her publishing company, Little, Brown.**

Drifting in and out of an uneasy sleep, my thoughts were all over the place. Some of them were on Charlie, planning out our final conversation. Another part of them were on the baby that I really didn't know anything about. Carlisle was going to at least try an ultrasound sometime soon and see if he could figure out why I was gaining at least a centimeter a day. Sometimes, I also found myself thinking about Jacob. I missed him, and I'd managed to mess up our final reunion horribly. The last thing that I found my thoughts dwelling on was Edward. Even when I wasn't focused on him, I was always aware of the pain that I was putting him through somewhere in the back of my head.

"Bella, honey, it's not good for you stress yourself out like that," Edward said in a forced voice. He had recently taken to hiding (well attempting to hide) his pain because he knew how guilty I was feeling and he thought that _his _agony was making _me_ worse. It was possible that stress was playing a role in my rapidly crumbling condition, but I knew that Edward was blaming himself for my stress level, which made me feel even guiltier. I had never done anything to deserve him.

"Don't stress myself out like what?" I asked, watching Edward wince at the sound of my voice. It was cracked and rough, probably from a lack of food. It had been two days since I had passed out, and the only time that I had been allowed to get up off the couch was to go to the bathroom. Despite everyone's attempts to keep me healthy, I was doing horribly. I hadn't been able to keep anything down, so I was starving. Literally.

"Don't worry so much. Your stress is hitting your body hard. It's not good for the baby." Rosalie answered instead of Edward. I saw Edward narrow his eyes and grind his teeth together, and I thought that I knew why. When they had thought that I was asleep yesterday, I had heard Edward and Rosalie shouting at each other because Rosalie "wasn't interested in my well-being". That was probably true, but it didn't matter to me. Rosalie was the only one in the house who really understood how much I needed mini-Edward to live.

"How can I _not_ be stressed out?" I mumbled under my breath, to myself. My voice cracked again. Edward and I both winced this time.

"Bella there's no need to be worrying. Leave that to me," Edward said gently after a brief pause.

"There's no need for you to be worrying either," I pointed out. Sure, I looked like I could faint or hurl at any second, but there wouldn't be any long term consequences. He'd just turn me into a vampire after I had the baby, and everything would be perfect.

He moaned quietly. "Yes there is Bella. Please see that." I patted his hand gently. He had given up hope that I would let the baby go. In some ways, that was good, but at the same time, he was now just a man agonized by his horrible wife, without the energy that he had had before when he was fighting against Rosalie.

"Sure, I might look kind of like a dead woman," I began, trying to sound like I was joking. Wait a second. I inwardly cursed my own stupidity. _Dead woman_?! Nice word choice.

"Bella…" He whispered with so much pain in that one word. He had barely been able to utter my name out correctly. He was choking, and I could see that he was very close to sobbing tearlessly.

"Shhhh, Edward please don't. I'm sorry, that was so stupid," I said frantically, preparing to stand up and go give him a hug. I had tried to convince Carlisle to let me sit up so that Edward could sit next to me, but, since Carlisle said it would be better if I lay down, both Edward and Rosalie had made me do so.

"Bella…stay still," Edward whispered, still fighting the sobs. He had to work hard to just get past my name. Seeing that I was still trying to get up (unsuccessfully), he hurried over to me. "Don't hurt yourself. Carlisle said to stay lying down." He crouched down to look me in the eye, wiping away the tears that I hadn't even realized I had been crying. "I'm so sorry."

"_You're_ sorry?! For _what_?" I nearly shouted.

"…I keep… hurting you more and more everyday." His voice was shaking even worse. In the next second, he was sitting down and leaning against the couch, his head in his hands. He was shaking.

"Edward…" I said helplessly, trying to get up so that I could sit down next to him.

"Bella. Stop," Rosalie muttered, before coming to place a hand on my shoulder so I would stop moving. She was barely putting any pressure, but even the slightest weight on my shoulder made it impossible to move. I could feel more tears trickling down my cheek, and my nose was getting runny.

"Maybe now would be a good time to give Charlie the call you've been looking forward to," Carlisle suggested, entering in the room, seeing Edward shaking on the ground and me crying my eyes out. He must have been listening to our conversation. He handed me the phone.

I took a few deep breaths and looked anywhere but at Edward's trembling figure. I didn't want to have my last conversation with Charlie to be pointless because I couldn't talk because I was sobbing. After a few minutes, I dialed the number.

It rang two times before Charlie's voice answered, "Hello?"

"Dad? It's Bella." I would have said more, but my voice sounded even rougher from my recent tears.

"Bells? What's wrong?"

"I'm…" Tearing up. Having a baby. Destroying my husband. Tearing the Cullen's apart. Being the worst daughter ever. Hearing your voice for the last time…

"What?"

"Um…I'm…sick." I said lamely, hearing how horrible my voice sounded. That was the story that we had decided to tell Charlie. Well, Carlisle had decided to tell Charlie. I just kind of went with it.

"What do you mean you're sick?"

I couldn't answer. I didn't want to say goodbye. I loved Charlie too much. I couldn't let him go. Edward, no longer shaking but watching me, took my freehand that wasn't holding the phone. I was sobbing. Carlisle held his hand out for the phone.

"I love you, Dad. So much." I whispered through my sobs before handing Carlisle the phone and letting the realization that I had just heard Charlie for the final time crush me. I was _really_ going to miss him.

"Charlie? This is Carlisle," He said, speaking over Charlie's frantic voice that I could hear shouting something into the phone. He listened silently for a few seconds, and then said, "Bella caught a rare South American Disease while she was on her honeymoon." Edward cringed. There was more talking on the other end of the line, presumably demanding to know more information. "No, I'm sorry. She's quarantined." So Charlie had actually been demanding to see me. "I'm not allowing any visitors," He said, turning to walk out of the room. I was tempted to jump up and grab the phone out of his hand, just to hear Charlie's voice again.

"Yes, unfortunately it is fairly serious. I'm doing whatever I can." I heard Carlisle say from the other room. "I'm sorry Charlie, but Bella's calling for me. I'll do my best," He said, before grimly clicking the phone off. He was just as good of a liar as Edward was.

"It'll be okay. It'll be okay," Edward repeated over and over, trying to slow my sobs. He was holding both of my trembling hands. What was I supposed to say? 'Yeah, it'll be great. I'll just never hear my Dad's voice again. Who cares, right?' To complete the moment, mini-Edward gave me another sharp nudge, causing me to wince. It was in the same place that I already had a bruise.

"It has to be okay. It _will_ be." I whispered. It felt like I was giving myself a pep talk.

"You don't have to go through with this you know. You could see him again." Edward said gently.

"I know that… I just _can't_, Edward. Our baby needs me. I can't be selfish because I want to see Charlie again," I said, my sobs slowing down.

"Bella, you're anything _but_ selfish." Sure I was.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I lied, starting to stand up. Edward was on his feet in the next second, helping me. I needed to get out of the room to fall to pieces privately. I had thought that hearing Charlie again would help me stay strong. It's amazing how wrong a person can be.


	9. Memories and More

**I don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer and Little, Brown Publishing **_**do**_** however. **

Enough was enough. It had to have been a least half of an hour. Edward and Rosalie (and probably the rest of the Cullens too) didn't need to listen to me bawl my eyes out for another minute longer. I knew that even the slightest pain of mine cut Edward deep, and he didn't deserve anymore distress because of me. Edward deserved to be _happy_, which was something that I wasn't managing to make him. If I could help it, Edward wouldn't see me shed even one more tear for the life that I was leaving behind. My future would be so much better. It had to be if it included Edward and our beautiful baby boy.

Emerging from the bathroom, I looked at the ground and tried to find something interesting to focus on. Even the carpet would do, as long as it distracted me from Charlie and my old life. Silently, Edward pulled my hand through his arm and held on tightly, starting to lead me downstairs. It was the first time that I'd come down the stairs since the wedding. That time, it had been someone else keeping me from falling over, or tripping, or the any of the other horrors that my lack of coordination could instill. 'Don't let me fall.' I had whispered. Charlie had been there, keeping me from falling so many times. _I _was the one who let _him_ fall. I could feel the waterworks coming on again.

No, I couldn't think about that. Hadn't I _just_ told myself that enough was enough and that Edward couldn't see anymore pain? I could be tough. Hopefully.

The wedding marked a final meeting between me and a lot of people, actually. Renee, Phil, Angela, Jess, Mike, and...Jacob. Well, at least the nice and friendly version of Jacob that I had known.

Pain lashed through my insides, threatening to engulf me. Jake was going to hate me for the rest of eternity. I was really going to be his…enemy. I cringed. If I was ever lucky enough to see him again, it would tear him apart. He probably still had a tiny bit of hope left that I would change my mind and stay human. Poor Jake.

I really needed to control my thoughts better. Thinking about leaving Jacob wasn't any less painful than thinking about Charlie. I loved them both.

Closing my eyes and trusting that Edward would safely lead me down the stairs and back to my dreaded couch, I decided to think about mini-Edward. Yes, that was a good choice. There was so much to think about. At the rate that everything was happening, it didn't seem like I had a whole lot of planning time left. A name might be a good place to start.

There was really only one name that was fitting because I'd been thinking of him as mini-Edward for a while, and I couldn't imagine calling him anything else. I'd just have to drop the 'mini' part. Edward. The most beautiful name in the world for the only two angels living on it.

For some weird reason, once I made my decision, it still felt like something was missing. Probably because I had just been thinking about him and how much it was hurting to loose his friendship, Jake's name popped into my head. I needed some small part of him to stay with me, even if it was just something like a name. Edward…Jacob. EJ for short. Perfect. Now the name fit. But…what if I was wrong? I doubted it, but there was always the possibility that I would have a girl.

"Bella?" Edward interrupted my thoughts gently. I could tell that he was fighting against the pain that rolled over him at my name. Did he really have absolutely no hope that I would live through mini-Edward? Well, EJ? (That was going to be a difficult habit to break.)

"Hm?" I answered with my eyes still closed, not trusting my voice. There was a good chance that it would be shaky and just as hoarse as before. Edward didn't need another reminder of my poor condition.

"I…I love you," I couldn't tell whether or not he had been about to say something else. It was also possible that he was trying to distract me from the anguish that was still tearing me apart, despite my attempts to avoid it.

I opened my eyes. Woah, I was on the couch…downstairs. I had been so immersed in my thoughts that I hadn't even realized that Edward wasn't pulling me forward anymore. That was weird.

"I love you too," I answered, inwardly groaning. I had been right earlier to avoid talking. My voice sounded even worse than it had on the phone with Charlie. I could see that Edward was thinking along the same lines.

"All this isn't good for you," He said, tracing his fingers along my cheek.

"It doesn't look like it's too good for you either," I said with a grim smile, holding his hand to my face. I felt kind of weird. It was like he was clinging on to my every word and movement, treasuring every second with me. Come to think of it, he probably was.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine," He said with a gentle smile.

"I'm fine too, Edward." His smile wiped off his face, replaced by a look of doubt. "Okay, I'm hungry. It's nothing I can't deal with." He continued to gaze skeptically at me. I sighed. "Yes, I'm going to miss…Charlie…too." It was physically painful to force his name out. The emotional shredding began again. "I'm such a bad daughter," I whispered more to myself than him.

"No, you're not," Alice's voice said from the doorway. I whipped around, wincing at another sharp pain from EJ.

"Alice?" I was surprised to see her because it seemed like she had been avoiding me for the past few days. Initially, I had guessed that she was trying to let me go slowly, but Edward had informed me yesterday that, for some reason, I was giving her a migraine. I was relieved that Alice still loved me, but a little bit freaked out too. Why was EJ affecting her so much?

Alice walked over to me, missing her usual spunk and energy. It felt like another blow to the gut. Her face was a mask of agony too.

Soon, Esme walked into the room, followed by Carlisle. Emmett and Jasper were out hunting, so that was everyone in the house.

"Carlisle thinks that it would be good to try the ultrasound now," Edward explained in a gentle voice. I sat up a little bit straighter, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rosalie looking on with interest.

Ten extremely slow minutes later, everything was all set up and ready to go. I had been led upstairs by both Edward's nervous hand and Rosalie's eager one. She was practically bouncing up and down in excitement. I probably would have had the energy that she had too, but I was running off of absolutely no food, and even tiny movements drained all of my energy. I would never have been able to make it up the stairs by myself.

Apparently, Carlisle had "borrowed" the technology that he needed for the ultrasound from the hospital. I wondered what the hospital had thought when the found out that it was missing. I smiled a little bit, imaging how confused the staff must have been. I could just image Carlisle standing among them, acting the part of the dumbfounded doctor perfectly.

Flushing and feeling self-conscious, I tried to avoid looking at everybody's faces when Carlisle exposed my stomach to put the gooey gel stuff on for the ultrasound. Edward and Alice both visibly cringed at the bruises that were almost covering my belly. Esme, wincing slightly too, gave my arm a gentle pat. Carlisle, who was good at hiding emotions, barely showed any sign that he noticed the bruises, but I saw his eyes harden slightly. Rosalie's enthusiasm didn't lessen at all, which I was thankful for.

Carefully, so that he didn't put any pressure on my bruises, Carlisle applied the gel, and put the stick the on my stomach. Watching the screen, just like the rest of us (excluding Edward, who was watching my face), he gently traced along my bump. Nothing. There was absolutely _nothing on the screen_. What was that supposed to mean?

I heard Carlisle mumble something, but I didn't catch it over my involuntary gasp. EJ must have something against my right hip because he seems to feel the need to kick it in the exact same place a couple of times a day. It _was_ kind of painful, but I would never admit that to anyone.

Edward was at my side. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm…_fine_." I muttered feeling a little bit irritated. Edward was probably about to dispute what I said, but I cut him off, looking at Carlisle. "Why can't we see anything?"

"The fetus's skin is too thick. It seems to be taking after Edward more than you," He answered, trying to sound emotionless. Normally, now would be the time when the happy mother looks at the cheerful father and says something like, 'Oh honey, did you hear that? He's going to take after you! I hope he gets your eyes.' I frowned. This could have been such a happy moment, but, when I looked over at Edward, I couldn't even see a glimmer of hope of joy. If there was any there, it was being completely obscured by a dark cloud of anguish. He looked like he could start sobbing again.


	10. Helpless

**Stephenie Meyer and Little, Brown Publishing own the Twilight series, and my name is not Stephenie, nor am I a publishing company. Therefore, this stuff isn't mine.**

There had never been a time in my life where I felt so helpless. Every minute that passed was sixty seconds of agony and horror for Edward, but there was nothing I could do. The only option was to kill EJ, and that wasn't much of an option at all. Even though I was dying. I knew, Edward knew, Rose knew, and the rest of the Cullens knew. But I'd been on my deathbed before and I saw no reason to loose faith now and do something that I would regret for eternity. Everything was going to work out fine. It was just a matter of days before we found a way for me to keep some food down, _and_ stop the bruises, _and_ get my energy back. There had to be a way for me to stay with Edward and have EJ at the same time.

That wasn't the only reason I felt helpless though. With each passing day, not only was my body slowly (and painfully) going down death road, but the body of little EJ. Every nudge was weaker than the last, though still painful because I was wasting away right along with him. He was going to die from starvation because the only person who had the ability to help him was too weak to keep down one stinking cracker. You would think that, after having no food for over five days, a normal person would be hungry enough to _not_ throw their food right back up. Then again, there wasn't really anything normal about me.

I felt like the Titanic. I was going down and I was going to take everyone with me. Even when I wouldn't gasp or wince or show any signs that I was in pain, Edward just _knew_. Really, it was like a never-ending chain reaction thing. First I would eat, and then throw it up again. Then, EJ would get weaker because he wasn't getting any nourishment. So of course I would get worried, making myself feel worse. Finally, Edward would see me looking sicker and get this look in his eyes as if he were in Hell. Well, actually he probably _was _in his own version of Hell. If there was anything I could do at all…

"Edward?" I began, glancing down at his still figure that was sitting on the floor in front of me. I winced at another weary nudge that was weak enough to send any loving mother into a panic attack. I didn't even acknowledge that my voice sounded like crap. It was my voice now. Or at least it was for the remainder of the pregnancy.

"Yes…Bella?" He replied, not meeting my gaze, but instead looking down at the floor. He'd been saying my name more than usual lately. My guess was that he thought that his chances to do so were limited. I closed my eyes, refusing to let Edward see the tears that were preparing to launch at that thought.

"You're hurting yourself," I whispered, gently rubbing his hand that was clutching his hair so tightly that it was threatening to rip it out. Looking surprised, well as surprised as the dead look he had taken up permitted, he met my gaze.

"Don't worry about me. I'm alr—" I cut him off. I couldn't stand to hear him say that he was alright. To say that he was in complete anguish would be an _understatement_.

"No Edward. _I'm_ alright. I'm getting along _just fine_…There's no need for you to…rip your hair out over this." When I had said that I was getting along 'just fine' he had literally ripped some of his hair out.

"Bella…" He trailed off, refusing to tear his eyes away from mine. His eyes were saying 'You're wrong.'

"Edward…" I trailed off, matching his tone. With _my_ eyes, I said 'No. _You're _wrong."

"Bella's going to be great, Edward," Rosalie cut in, making me turn to face her. I felt another bump that was so wimpy that it couldn't even be classified as a nudge anymore. "Oh, don't look at me like that."

I couldn't see Edward's face, but apparently it was severe enough that when Emmett walked in and caught a glimpse of it, he felt the need to mutter something to Rose about 'backing off a bit'. Rose didn't acknowledge that she'd heard him.

"He called again?" Edward asked, finally turning away from Rose and towards Emmett.

Emmett nodded. "Esme's been talking to him."

"Been talking to…who?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Charlie."

No one had specifically said what was going on in the conversations between Esme and Charlie, but I had deduced that Charlie was under the impression that he was talking to a receptionist named Julie Williams who worked at the doctor's office/hospital that I was getting treated at. The Cullens must have given him a bad number. I could also guess that he was an absolute wreck.

"I should talk to him," I said quietly, remembering the sound of Charlie's voice. I was almost desperate to hear him again.

"Bella, we've already talked about that," Edward said gently. I had been mentioning giving Charlie a call for a few days now. Each time, I got the same answer.

"He can't be handling this very well. Maybe if he could just hear my voice again…" I reasoned, bringing up the same point I had a million times before. Edward wrinkled his eyebrow, debating. Something about our most recent conversation seemed to have changed his mind. At least now he was considering it.

"Please Edward?" My voice cracked.

"I…I don't…know," He was obviously against it, but he didn't want to say no to me. I remained silent, letting him think. "Charlie is…distraught." He muttered, more to himself than me. "It could be good closure," He was trying to talk himself into it. "I…suppose so." He said, with a pained smile that didn't reach anywhere near his eyes.

In the next second, he was handing me his cell phone. I tried to dial, but my fingers were too clumsy. With a dead look, Edward took the phone back, dialed for me, and handed it to me again. "Thank you" I mouthed, while it was ringing.

"Hello?" Charlie answered the phone. His voice was thick.

I didn't answer. I was letting the joy I was feeling run through me. His voice was like an antidote, helping me to feel stronger.

"Hello?" He asked again.

"D-Dad?" I hadn't even realized that I had started crying at his voice. I had hoped to save the tears until later in the conversation.

"Bells? Is that really you?" His voice picked up like it always did when he was excited.

"Yes." I whispered, savoring every word that he said.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to get to talk to you again." I could tell that the momentary glee he had felt was gone, replaced with sadness. "You sound…"

"I know." He could tell that my voice was getting worse.

"Where are you? I want to come see you."

"I'm…quarantined." I said, having a hard time thinking clearly and remembering the word I wanted to use.

He muttered something that I couldn't understand.

"So…how are you?" I asked, trying to get over the slightly awkward pause. What a stupid question to ask.

"Worried." He said gruffly, his voice still thick, shaking with the effort to keep from crying.

"Dad, I'm okay. I'm great," I said, a crack in my voice contradicting my words. I saw Edward cringe.

"You don't sound so great," He murmured.

"Really? Well…I… am." Nice comeback.

Charlie didn't respond.

"I don't know when I'll get to call you again," I said. _If_ I'll get to call you again.

"Are the doctors being mean to you? Are you not allowed to use the phone?" He asked, sounding angry.

"No, of course not. They're great."

"Then what's wrong?"

I couldn't come up with a witty explanation. I was _really_ missing my brain food.

"Um. I don't like… phones….right now." Wow.

On the other end, Charlie was silent, trying to decide what to make of my words.

"Actually, never mind that." Charlie didn't say anything. "Well…I love you."

"You're leaving already?" He sounded distraught.

"Yes." I needed to end the phone call now before I said something really stupid. Also, I was being shredded again so I wouldn't be able to say much more anyway.

"I love you." I repeated, the tears flowing faster.

"Bells…I love you too." He barely managed to choke anything out at all.

"Bye." I whispered, my tears progressing to sobs.

"Bells…" Was all he could say. Against my will, I clicked the phone off.


	11. Seeing Jake Again

**Stephenie Meyer and Little, Brown Publishing own the Twilight characters and story. It would be kind of strange if my username was taylorjeanjn but my real name was Stephenie. Hence, it's not.**

I couldn't even remember what it felt like to be free from agony. Both physical _and_ emotional. How had everything gone so wrong? My world was crashing down on me, and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. EJ was going to die. I had been so wrong and now that perfect child of mine was wasting away. Everyone knew that I was going down too. They tried to hide it, but there was always something that gave them away.

For Edward, it was obvious. His only concern was me, so he didn't care about hunting or anything that would cause him to leave my side. Sometimes, he would just stare at me with the eyes of a man slowly being ripped apart, piece by piece. He would sit like that for hours before sometimes breaking down. The somewhat dead façade that he had taken up in a desperate attempt to calm me would sometimes slip and he would fall to the ground either sobbing tearlessly or just falling completely still and turn around to gaze at the wall. I could only image the turmoil that was raging inside of him.

Rosalie wasn't really upset about _my _condition, which suited me just fine. Though I was appreciative of the loving care that the Cullens gave me, I didn't want or need for the family to spend all of their time doting on me. Though the gesture was nice, I didn't think that their presence would suddenly put me and EJ back in perfect health. There was something else that would need to do that.

In the time that the rest of the family spent sitting solemnly in the room with me, Edward, and Rose, there was a definite mournfulness on their faces. Even Emmett was often at a loss for words. They passed the time by asking if I needed anything about once every two minutes.

"Bella," I heard Alice begin in a low voice. Apparently another two minutes of uninterrupted silence had passed. For some reason, whenever Alice talked to me, her tone was cautious. She was probably worried because she couldn't see my future, so she could never be sure if she would startle me to the point that I would literally have a heart attack or something.

I just kind of grunted, not wanting to use my voice. I was saving it up in case there was a time that I would really need to use it.

"You look cold," When Alice spoke I saw a brief flash of misery come across her face. Truthfully, yes I _was_ cold, but considering the other casualties I was facing, I didn't actually care.

Again, I grunted in response. Alice stood up, probably to go find a blanket. I wanted to point out that a _blanket_ wasn't quite the magic fix that we were all looking for, but I felt another blow to my belly from inside. Even though EJ was getting weaker and weaker, he was still stronger than I was. I had avoided looking at my stomach to check for new bruises because there weren't very many opportunities for me to do so privately. Besides, I already knew that new ones had been coming on, so what was the point of checking?

Alice returned with my blanket before gently draping it over me. In almost any other circumstance, she would have scolded me for my current attire, which was a large, faded gray sweatshirt that belonged to Edward. My enormous belly couldn't fit into anything belonging to any of us girls; even fitting it under Edward's sweatshirt was a stretch. She also silently handed me a couple of saltines hopefully.

I curled up into a ball, clutching the crackers in my hand at the same time, doing my best to sit up. I was tired of lying around, too weak to even support myself completely. I saw Carlisle, Edward, and Rose open their mouths to tell me to lie back down, but I pointedly ignored them. Involuntarily, I let out a grunt at the effort to completely pull my heavy body into a sitting position. I curled up into a ball (or the best ball I could with my big belly). That was another weird thing that I did when I was stressed and worried. Maybe it would be a good time to give myself another pep-talk.

I _would _have EJ and he _would_ get his chance to live. If I didn't quite make it through, which was a possibility, I would at least make sure that he would. No matter what the cost was to achieve that, I would pay it.

But what if…I didn't quite make it through labor? What if I was wrong about having a mini-Edward? Some motherly instinct of mine made me assume that I was having a boy but there was still a 50/50 chance that he would be a girl. I needed to come up with a backup name. If I didn't make it, Edward probably wouldn't be in a state to brainstorm names with the family. If it was a girl, I should name her after someone, like I was planning on naming EJ after Edward and Jake.

There were four women that came immediately to my mind. Esme because she was so loving and kind. Plus she was Edward's mom. Renee because…she was my mom and I was missing her so much already. Alice because she was an awesome friend and she would be like an aunt to the baby. Last was Rose because she was the one who had kept her alive in the first place.

Alice wasn't thrilled about the kid, so she probably wouldn't necessarily _want_ to have him or her named after her. On the other hand, Rose would love it, but Edward wouldn't. Hopefully, if things didn't turn out so well, he would forgive her for helping me, but it would take a while. It wouldn't be smart to name the baby after Rose either.

So it was between Renee and Esme. I couldn't really do the short name thing like I had done with Edward-Jacob because the only options were RE (which was just weird) and ER (which was kind of self-explanatory).

I was playing around with different ways to mush the two names together when I saw Edward stiffen for a few seconds before glancing at the door. He had a little bit of an expression that I couldn't define, which was better than the painful look that he had taken up the majority of the time.

The rest of the family froze a few seconds later, all glancing at the door. Rose was wrinkling her nose.

"What?" I asked the room in general.

"The _dog_," Rosalie answered distastefully.

Dog? What dog? She couldn't mean _Jake_…could she? Why would he come here if he thought that I was a recently transformed vampire? He wouldn't know that there had been a change in plans…

"Yes, _that _dog. The Jacob guy." Rosalie answered, knowing what was going through my head.

"Why?" I asked, feeling elated. I was going to see Jake again. Just having him near me would surely provide at least _some_ new strength for me.

Rosalie shrugged. Carlisle stood up looking old and tired to answer the door. I hadn't heard a knock, but there really wasn't a need. Everyone knew that he was here.

I heard Carlisle murmur something quietly, before there was a small pause. Then Jake muttered something in return. Carlisle replied something else in a quiet voice, irritating me. The rest of the Cullens could hear what was going on, but they wouldn't bother talking loud enough for me to hear too.

"…do this later?" Was all I managed to catch from whatever Carlisle had said. …What? No way. They were going to send him away when, as of right now, I didn't seem to have a whole lot of time left. It was then that I realized that I was still holding the crackers. Impatiently, I forced them down before turning to appeal to Edward.

"Why not? Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too?" Edward didn't respond. "What's the point?" Jake was my best friend. How could they expect me to accept that he was just a few feet from me, but not let me at least say hello for what could be the final time?

It was silent out front. Carlisle and Jake had both heard me. Well, of course they had. I was the only one in the house that didn't have super-hearing. When no one said anything, I called in an unnecessarily loud voice, "Come in, please, Jacob,"

Clutching my knees, I watched the door expectantly. Jacob came inside first, glancing around the room. Carlisle was just following him in when Jake saw me.

At first, a look of relief spread across his face. Good. _That _was the reaction that I was looking for. I had been terrified that he would see my appearance and freak out.

Then, slowly, his expression changed from joy to horror. Dang it. That was the reaction that I _didn't_ want. While he took in the mess that I was, I felt a strong wave of nausea. No. Not in front of Jake…

I swallowed, trying to force myself to not throw up. After about a second, I realized that that wasn't going to work out so well.

Trying to ignore Jacob, I turned to look at Rose. It was time for another puke break. Yay.

Just in time, she grabbed the large bowl next to the couch off of the ground and held it under my chin. What a great way to greet one of your best friends for what could be the last time.

It took me a few seconds to raise my head up and when I did, I found Edward on his knees, Rose holding her arm out in warning, and Jake looking completely lost. I wanted to reach out to touch Edward, help him in any way that I could, but Rose was keeping him out of my reach. Jake didn't need to see me pathetically struggle just to learn forward to touch Edward, so I gave up, deciding that I would try to console him as soon as I was sure that I had the energy.

I turned my focus back on Jake, flushing. "Sorry about that," I said, my voice only coming out as a whisper. Edward unconsciously scooted a little bit closer to me.

He moaned quietly, leaning his head against my knees. There was so much anguish on his face that I couldn't just _sit_ there, but my energy wasn't completely back yet. I could only manage to lay a hand on his cheek.

Rose hissed, causing me to look away from Edward. She was stopping Jacob from coming over to me. "Rose, don't. It's fine," Jacob wasn't a threat to me or my kid.

Rosalie grudgingly got out of the way, but she was tense behind my head, ready to attack. I was about to tell her that there was no potential danger, but Jacob took my freehand into his, now on his knees too. It felt nice because they were so warm.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

No. I wasn't. But I wasn't about to tell _him_ that. He would see right through it if I tried to lie. Instead, I just ignored his question altogether. "I'm so glad that you came to see me today, Jacob." I tried not to stress the 'today' part. There was no need to freak him out and tell him that I didn't really have a whole lot of days left. Wait. Yes I _did _have a whole lot of days left. I needed to stop being so pessimistic.

Edward moaned again into my blanket. I gently rubbed his cheek.

"What is it, Bella?" I felt his hands tighten. I wasn't quite sure what to say. He would assume that I had gone insane if I said, 'Well, Jake, while Edward and I were on our honeymoon, I got pregnant. Apparently that _is_ possible after all. And then, I started throwing up and crying. Yes, I know it's only been a month. And then I called Rosalie and she suddenly decided to help me, even though she's always hated me. Isn't that just a lovely story?'

It would be better to just _show_ him. He didn't need to know the details, just that I was pregnant. I made eye contact with all of the Cullens, begging them to understand that Jacob deserved to know, while warning them not to try to stop me.

"Help me up, Rose?" I asked turning back towards her. She didn't answer me, but instead turned to bare her teeth at Jake. That was hardly necessary. "Please, Rose."

She made a sour face, but leaned across Edward to put her hand behind my shoulders. I was just starting to stand when Jake whispered, "No. Don't get up…"

Great. Now Jake saw me as a weakling too. He was the one who had asked in the first place.

"I'm answering your question," I snapped, not meaning to sound as harsh as it had come out. Jake didn't seem to mind. I forced myself not to grunt as Rose pulled me all the way into a standing position. Rose was doing all the work and I _still _felt my energy being drained away.

I stared at him, knowing that the blanket would fall soon enough and tell him everything. It did.


	12. Paranoid

**I am not a publishing company called Little, Brown. I am a single **_**person**_**. I promise. And no, I'm not Stephenie Meyer either. **

It seemed like the blanket was falling in slow motion. Everyone was staring at Jake's face as it fell to the ground (once again excluding Edward, who was watching me). I felt just like I had just before Edward and I stepped off of the plane. I had known that as soon as we reunited with his family, he would know everything after it was too late for him to change it. Now the same thing was happening, except for Jacob.

At first, Jake just stared me up and down, seeming to be missing the obvious. I felt myself flush a little bit, imaging what he was seeing. I was sure that I looked horrible, but I had intentionally avoided looking at myself in a mirror since that first day back when I had had a cruel reality check.

Too soon for my liking, Jake finally zoned in on my large belly. Feeling cowardly, I would have loved for Jake to remain oblivious to the source of my poor condition because I had no idea how he would take it. I guess that now would be the time to find out…

Or maybe not. Jake continued staring at my belly and I could see the denial on his face. Even now, when the living proof was right in front of him, he wouldn't accept what my stomach was screaming at him. He was refusing to accept that I was pregnant. Maybe he needed some help.

Carefully, so as not to push on my bruises, I lovingly cradled my stomach. I hoped that this would work, because I couldn't think of any other way to jerk him out of his refusal. Luckily, it _did_ work. Awareness dawned on his face, accompanied by a somewhat horrified look. Whether it was because I was having a baby, Edward and I _had_ had a real honey moon despite his warnings, or because I was looking so horrible, I couldn't be sure. It was probably a mixture of all three.

For a few seconds, Jacob looked as if he could get sick. I had no idea how to make him feel any less appalled by what had happened, so I continued to silently gauge his reaction. Now, along with the disgust, was fury. Oh no. I could guess who that fury was directed towards. I wanted to plead with him, 'No, _please_ don't put the blame on Edward. He doesn't need anyone else to feed his insanely guilty conscience.'

A sharp movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I turned my head to see Edward staring at Jacob with hard eyes. He didn't have the guilt-ridden expression that I had expected. Instead, he was angry. What could Jacob possibly have thought that would tear him out of the tortured face that I was accustomed to seeing?

In the next second, Edward was towering over Jacob, glaring down at him. "Outside, Jacob." He growled, not blinking. By the time his words even registered with me, Jake was standing too.

"Let's do this." Their exchange sounded like the intro to a…fight scene. I stared between their faces in terror. No. Jake wouldn't do that. A memory flashed across my mind. Jake. At the wedding. Saying that he would kill Edward. Yes, it seemed that Jake very much _would_ do that.

Well, Edward wouldn't. A little voice of truth in my head contradicted me. In the mountains. During the fight with Victoria. Edward. Throwing me behind him so that he could have a clear shot a Jake. Okay, it seemed like Edward would gladly fight as well.

By the time that I had realized what was about to happen, Jasper and Emmett were already standing, ready to help Edward. Getting ready to kill my best friend.

In desperation, not caring about the fact that I had used up all my energy just standing this long, I forced myself forward, ignoring my protesting legs. "No." I had meant to sound more threatening, like I would do whatever it took to stop them, but instead my voice came out as a weak gasp.

Not quite able to make it between Jake and Edward, for fear of falling over, I clutched onto Edward's arm. I looked up at him, allowing my fear to cross my face. With my eyes, I begged him to sit back down. To pretend like nothing had happened.

"I just need to talk to him, Bella," Edward whispered, his suffering expression back. I wasn't convinced, and Edward could see it. Cautiously, so as not to push on my easily bruising skin, he gently ran his fingers across my face. "Don't strain yourself. Please rest. We'll be back in just a few minutes."

I gazed into his eyes, looking for the tiniest hint that he was lying to me. After searching for a few seconds, a guilty feeling hit me. I needed to have more faith in Edward. He knew how much Jake meant to me. He would never kill my friend, purely because it would kill me as well.

I nodded before feeling my legs beginning to give out. In those limited minutes, I had used up all of my energy for the next few hours at the least. Rose, still wrinkling her nose because of Jacob, quickly helped me back onto the couch. I felt her return to stand behind my head.

Now, it was time to search Jake. I knew that _he_ would fight, even if Edward didn't. If Edward was forced to defend himself, Jake _would_ get hurt, and it would be all my fault. I couldn't let that happen.

I tried to make eye contact with Jacob to no avail. Fine, if he wanted to be a pain in the butt, he could. "Behave." I warned, feeling more like his mother than his best friend.

Silently, he turned away from me and walked out the door. Inwardly, I sighed. Jake still had some growing up to do. All I could do now was pray that he wouldn't be stupid enough to attack Edward. I knew that he was both angry and in pain, so his common sense wasn't probably at its peak. Following him out the door, Edward giving me the best look that he could manage, which was a pained half-smile.

I heard the door slam shut, and then everyone was silent. I turned towards Rose, "You don't think that they'll…" I didn't think that it was necessary for me to finish my sentence.

"I don't know." Rose didn't seem to be to be concerned at all. I narrowed my eyes slightly. Well, there was no way that Edward would go down, with his whole family nearby, and that was all she cared about. She would probably see Jacob's death as a plus.

"You would tell me if they…" I trailed off again, asking the room in general. Someone had _better_ tell me if my husband and best friend were out there tearing each other to shreds.

Emmett answered me. "I can't hear them anymore. I wouldn't know." He sounded disappointed. I shuddered. Emmett would probably love to go out there and fight with Edward if it came to that.

I felt the color drain from my face. My voice came out in a choked whisper, "What do you mean, you can't hear them anymore?"

"They're too far away to hear," Alice answered, before seeing my expression. "I'm sure everything's fine." She added quickly.

I glanced around the room, feeling horrified. Alice wouldn't be able to see if they started fighting. No one would be able to hear if a fight broke out either. Why would Edward torture me like this? If he wasn't planning on hurting Jake, why would he get out of hearing range?

I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate. 'Please don't hurt each other. Please don't hurt each other. _Please_.' I kept repeating in my head.

"Bella, calm down," Jasper said as I felt a calm cloud settle over me. I didn't _want_ to calm down. I wanted Edward and Jacob back where I could see them.

"You could bring them back," I said quietly after a few minutes of forced calmness, not referring to anyone specific. Maybe I was being paranoid. It was possible.

"There's no need." Carlisle said gently. I gazed at him doubtfully. Of course there was a need. "They're back in hearing distance. Nothing happened."

The remorse flooded back over me. I had no faith in Edward _or_ Jacob. I waited silently, watching the door, where I knew that they would enter soon enough.

I heard the front door open, then close again a few seconds later. Then, Edward and Jacob came in. Jake hovered by the door, while Edward came to the middle of the room. Jake looked kind of like he was about to be sick again.

It was then that I felt my nerves return. What was so secret that Edward wouldn't let his own family hear? And what about Jake? Why was he looking so…disgusted?

"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately," Edward said. Ah, his dead voice had returned.

I felt Rosalie twitch angrily behind my head, before placing a hand over my cheek. It was almost motherly. "Over my pile of ashes," She growled. That was kind of a strong reaction.

"Bella," Edward began, not even acknowledging Rose. He turned towards me. "Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?"

What was Edward talking about? Afraid to be alone with…Jake? Of course not. I gazed at Jacob, seeing if Edward's question made any more sense to him. His face didn't give anything away, so I turned back towards Rosalie.

"Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward." I said in a calm, reassuring voice.

"It could be a trick," Rosalie said, glaring at Edward and Jake, and then turning to me.

"I don't see how." Two times, in the past five minutes, I had lost faith in my best friend. I wasn't about to do it a third.

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie," Edward cut in, anger coming through in his voice. "We're the ones she's afraid of."

His comment was so painful. I would never _ever_ be afraid of Edward. For him to even think that… "No. No Edward I'm not…" My voice was choked back with tears.

He shook his head before failing miserably at a smile. "'I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Did he seriously just tell me that he was fine? That I shouldn't worry about him? Did he really think that I was so out of it that I couldn't sense his anguish?

"Everyone, please." Edward's voice was shaking. I could see that he was about to break down again, so he wanted to get out of my sight to do it. It hurt so much that he thought that I didn't deserve to see the agony that_ I _had single-handedly created.

The rest of the family could sense it too. They stood up and left without any argument, except for Rosalie.

"Rose, I want you to go," I whispered, not wanting to force Edward to start sobbing or falling apart while I was there.

Rose gestured for Edward to go first, and he obliged with one last look at me. After threatening Jacob with her eyes, Rosalie disappeared too. Now, maybe I could find out exactly what had gone on between Edward and Jake.


	13. Something Worth Dying For

**DISCLAIMER**

**Random person on the street: Hey…Stephenie?**

**Me: No.**

**Random person on the street: Dang.**

**Me: Believe me, I know. I know.**

**Random person on the street: Little Brown Publishing?**

**Me: -le sigh- No.**

**Random person on the street: Do you own **_**any**_** of Twilight?**

**Me: Only my imaginary part. –breaks down to go find a happy place-**

As soon as Rosalie was gone, Jake crossed the room in a few strides and plopped down on the floor next to the couch. I was debating over whether or not I should offer to move so that he could sit next to me, but just the thought of forcing my body into a sitting position made me wince. No, Jacob would just have to sit on the floor. He didn't seem to mind.

Without a word, probably deep in his own thoughts, Jake took both of my hands into his large one. Had he gained a few degrees? He felt even warmer than usual. As he held my hands, I didn't feel any need to pull them away. There was nothing romantic about the gesture.

"I'm not going to lie, Bells. You're hideous." He said, without a hint of the high-spirited best friend that I used to have. Based on how horrible I _felt_ I could guess just how much of a toll it was taking on my appearance as well.

"I know. I'm scary looking," I didn't need to tell him that I had passed 'hideous' a few days ago. Now…I couldn't think of an adjective strong enough. Deathly atrocious, maybe?

"Thing-from-the-swamp-scary," He agreed.

I laughed, which had a foreign feeling to it. I had given a few fake smiles, sure, but I hadn't really _laughed_ since…a while ago. Jake had come up with the perfect adjective without including the word 'deathly' or any variations of it. He was my personal sun again, finding ways to bring back a small amount of happiness to me. I decided to tell him that.

"It's so good to have you here. It feels nice to smile. I don't know how much more drama I can stand," I had always hated drama in Jr. High and High School, and they didn't even come _close_ to what was going on now. I'd gladly take on all of the gossip and rumors again if I could make everyone's misery go away.

Jake rolled his eyes, not bothering to be polite about it. Alright, he had a point.

"Okay, okay. I bring it on myself," I agreed. If I had denied it, surely he would have had some brilliant retort that I couldn't hope to counter.

"Yeah, you do." He paused for a second, before continuing on in a louder voice. "What are you thinking, Bells? Seriously!"

Internally, I winced. Jake wasn't stupid. Would it really be so hard for him to at least attempt to understand what was going through my head? He didn't need to talk so loud. Well, then again, maybe this was all a part of Edward and Jacob's little plan.

"Did he ask you to yell at me?" I asked, softly, stealing a glance at the door that Edward had departed from.

"Sort of. Though I can't figure why he thinks you'd listen to me. You never have before."

I sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. He was going to rub it in my face.

"I told you—," I cut him off. In my head I hadn't thought that his comment would irritate me so much. Feeling a little bit pissed off, I had a flash of genius.

"Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" I paused at the punch line of my joke, just for dramatic effect. "His name is '_Shut the hell up_'." I had to work to hide my grin.

"Good one." He congratulated. I could see that any annoyance that he had had a few seconds ago had evaporated.

No longer able to hide the smile about to burst forward, I beamed at him. It was kind of painful because I hadn't used those muscles completely for such a long time. "I can't take credit—I got it off a rerun of _The Simpsons_." I hadn't seen that show in a long time.

"Missed that one."

"It was funny," I loved the nonchalance of our conversation. It was back like when we were at the garage, or walking along the beach. Easy as breathing…but, really, breathing wasn't necessarily _easy _anymore. Nothing was.

That thought caused a memory to flash through my mind. Me hyperventilating because Edward and Jacob were out having some super-secret, 'let's keep Bella out of this' conversation.

"Did he really ask you to talk to me?" I asked after a few silent minutes. I wasn't sure if Jake would be honest, but I couldn't see any reason for him to lie.

He nodded. "To talk some sense into you. _There's_ a battle that's lost before it starts." He looked like he was trying not to roll his eyes.

There Edward went again, insulting my common sense, with Jake in on it, too. I needed to teach them that pregnancy did _not_ automatically equal a lack of brain power.

"So why did you agree?" There wasn't any sharpness in my voice, just genuine curiosity. Jake didn't reply, and I could see that he was thinking deeply about something. Concern and sadness were apparent on his face.

"It'll work out, you know. I believe that." I had mentally told my nudger the exact same thing yesterday.

I glanced down at my hands in his and saw that they were shaking, because _he_ was, but it wasn't the violent trembling that I'd seen before. Jake didn't even seem to realize that his whole body was quivering.

"Is dementia one of your symptoms?" He snarled. I laughed again because that was actually a definite possibility. I wasn't a doctor, but it would make sense that no food plus uneasy sleep plus stress plus pregnancy would equal a small amount of insanity.

"Maybe. I'm not saying that things will work out _easily_, Jake." It had been proven that this thing would be nearly impossible. It already _was_, but there would be a way for this to be a win-win situation_. _For everyone."More than anyone, you've got some magic waiting to make things right for you."

"What are you babbling about?" He asked with an edge in his voice. I wasn't babbling, and Jake knew it. I was in my right mind. Surely he could see where this conversation was going.

"Edward told me once what it was like—your imprinting thing. He said it was like _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, like magic." I paused, remembering. Everything had been so much easier back then, even with the whole enemy thing going on between Edward and Jake. It still was, but they were fighting together in a common cause. United for only the second time ever. "You'll find who you're really looking for, Jacob, and maybe then all of this will make sense." I continued. He needed to see that I wasn't the one meant for him. There was someone so much kinder and more selfless out there, who deserved him. After all I'd put him through, I most certainly didn't.

I was surprised when I heard him growl, shaking harder than before. Apparently he hadn't predicted where this was going like I had assumed. "If you think that my imprinting could ever make up sense of this _insanity_…" He trailed off, too angry finish his sentence. "Do you really think that just because I might someday imprint on some stranger, it would make this right?" He sharply indicated my belly. Yes, I did think that. It couldn't make up for everything that _I _had done, but it _could_ make him happy again.

He continued, "Tell me what the point was then, Bella! What was the point of me loving you? What was the point of _you _loving _him_? When you die, how is that ever right again?" I wasn't going to die. _Why_ was that so incredibly difficult for everyone to believe?

He continued ranting. "What's the point to all this pain? Mine, yours, his!" Why did my own, self-inflicted pain bother him? It wasn't right. "You'll kill him, too, not that I care about that." Ouch. I didn't need to hear that, I knew it all too well already. "So what was the point of your twisted love story, in the end? If there is _any_ sense, please show me, Bella, because I don't see it." It registered with me that his voice had a note of desperate hysteria in it.

I sighed, knowing how much inner turmoil must have been raging through him to cause that extra agony to creep into his voice. "I don't know yet, Jake. But I just…" I was being _extremely _careful with my word choice, not wanting to upset him again. "…feel…that this is all going somewhere good, hard to see as it is now." I paused. "I guess you could call it faith."_ 'Something that we all need to get a little more of,'_ I mentally added on.

It seemed like, despite my cautiousness, I had hit another nerve. "You're dying for _nothing_, Bella! Nothing!"

No, I was dying for _something_, and if worst came to worst, it was something worth dying for. As motherly love filled me, I gently placed my hands protectively over my stomach. I loved my EJ just as much now as I ever had. Besides, worst _wouldn't_ come to worst, so this conversation wasn't necessary.

"I'm not going to die. I _will_ keep my heart beating. I'm strong enough for that." I was assuring Jake just as much as I was assuring myself.

"That's a load of crap, Bella." I narrowed my eyes slightly. If he was going to disagree, he didn't have to do it like that. "You've been trying to keep up with the supernatural for too long. No normal person can do it. You're _not _strong enough." He said bluntly, letting go of my hands to take my face. I let his harsh words bounce off of me. _I can do this. I can do this._

"I can do this. I can do this," I continued to repeat, this time out loud. I concentrated hard on EJ and our bright future, not letting Jacob's words get to me.

"Doesn't look like it to me. So what's your plan? I hope you have one." He continued on in the same hard voice as before.

Well, of course I had a plan. I wasn't just going to sit around and wait to die. I nodded at him. He wouldn't like where this was headed, so I nervously played with the edge of my blanket. "Did you know Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human I mean." I wasn't sure if she would want me to share that with Jacob, but that thought didn't occur to me until after I had said it.

"So?"

"So she was close enough to dead that they didn't even bother taking her to the emergency room—they took her right around to the morgue. Her heart was still beating though, when Carlisle found her…" I would let Jake figure out the rest of the story.

His fire disappeared just as quickly as it had come as comprehension dawned on his face. "You're not planning on surviving this human." I felt my face fall as I realized that I had been right. Jake, unconsciously, still had the small hope that I would change my mind and remain human.

"No. I'm not stupid." I stopped fidgeting and met his eyes. They had 'stupid Bella' written all over them. "I guess you probably have your own opinion on that point, though."

"Emergency vampirization," he muttered, clearly not liking what he was hearing. Well, I could hardly have expected him to. After all, werewolves and vampires _were_ natural enemies. But…we wouldbe different from the rest of them. I loved Jake too much to let a little (okay, a big) external change destroy the friendship that we had created. I wouldn't let go of him like I had with Charlie.


	14. Hurting Jake Worse

**DISCLAIMER**

**--Random person on the street comes up to me again and opens their mouth to start talking.—**

**Me: Don't start. I'll tell you if become Stephenie Meyer or Little, Brown, okay?**

**--Random person on the street sighs and walks away—**

I had expected Jacob to protest my decision to become a vampire. I had tried to reason with him, but I had only done it half-heartedly. It wouldn't matter what I said to him, nothing would change his mind. I had explained that 'emergency vampirization', as he had put it, had worked for Esme, Edward, Emmett, and Rose. As expected, his opinion wasn't budging at all.

"Listen to me, Bells. Don't do it that way." He said slowly, now the one trying to reason with _me_. He took a deep breath, most likely collecting his thoughts. "Don't wait until it's too late, Bella. Not that way." As if any way at all would make him happy. Why did it matter whether or not I became a vampire now, as opposed to later? He continued on, "Live. Okay? Just live. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to him." Jake was almost begging. His anger at my, in his opinion, stupidity had disappeared, leaving behind a cloud of anguish.

Jake raised his voice, taking quick, shallow breaths because of his woe. "You know what he's going to do when you die. You've seen it before. You want him to go back to those Italian killers?" His voice was harsh, each word cutting into me like a knife. Yes, I did know what Edward would do. I didn't want to think about it, but it was a harsh part of reality. Edward would commit suicide if I was gone. He wouldn't try to live, even for the sake of his family and child.

My grief must have been evident on my face because he lightened his tone, or at least made it sound less like he was yelling at me. "Remember when I got mangled up by those newborns? What did you tell me?" I winced at his question, remembering the broken body that Jacob had become…because of me. That whole war had been my fault.

I pursed my lips, forcing myself past the guilt that was about to overtake me. I _could _remember what I'd told him when he got hurt, but that a completely different situation.

"You told me to be good and listen to Carlisle. And what did I do? I listened to a vampire. For you."

That was crap. I wanted to point out that Carlisle was a _doctor_, the only one who could correctly handle his injuries, so of course he would listen. Instead, I chose not to voice my opinion, telling myself that I would _not_ ruin one of our last friendly conversations.

"You listened because it was the right thing to do," I corrected him, in a polite version of my thoughts.

He was the peace-maker. "Okay—pick either reason."

I had _already _picked my reason. Because, in his case, it was the smart thing to do. "It's not the right thing now." Once again, I felt my devotion to EJ fill me. I glanced down at my round stomach lovingly. Imagining a life without him was like imaging a life without Edward. Unacceptable. Horrifying. "I won't kill him." I whispered for both my sake and Jake's.

Jacob's hands were shaking hard enough that he realized it now, too. I hadn't said anything _too_ bad, so I was confused by his reaction. I didn't have to wonder for long.

"Oh, I hadn't heard the great news. A bouncing baby boy, huh? Shoulda brought some blue balloons." He muttered, while an image of Jake showing up at the Cullen's porch with a dozen blue balloons flashed through my mind. Inwardly, I sighed again. Though Jake would never have done that, someone _else_ might have. It was a pretty common thing to do. I might have liked that.

I also had an image of someone showing up with blue balloons, only to find out that I was actually having a girl. I flushed at being caught. "I don't know he's a boy. The ultrasound wouldn't work. The membrane around the baby is too hard—like their skin. So he's a little mystery. But I always see a boy in my head." Why I had just explained that to Jake, when he clearly wasn't interested, I wasn't really sure.

"It's not some pretty baby in there, Bella," he said. Like he knew more than I did.

"We'll see," I said, smiling. I had my motherly instincts to work with. If anybody would have a good idea of what the baby was going to look like, it was me.

"_You _won't," He contradicted insolently, bluntly, yet again telling me I was going to die. I let his words bounce of off me.

"You're very pessimistic, Jacob. There is definitely a chance that I might walk away from this." I raised my eyebrows, frowning at him. He didn't answer, but his opinion was clear as he started shaking even harder than before, not meeting my eyes and taking slow breaths. Apparently, I had just said something stupid enough that the hurt that had been masked by anger came through. I soothingly patted his head and ran my hand along his cheek, before saying, "Jake, it's going to be okay. Shh. It's okay."

He kept his eyes down, thinking. At first he didn't show that he had heard me, and I was about to continue murmuring gentle words when he said, "No. It will not be okay." His voice shook, and I saw tears swimming down his face. I had hurt him _again_. Tenderly, I wiped his tears away, quietly shushing him again.

"What's the deal, Bella? I thought the whole point was that you wanted your vampire more than anything. And now you're just giving him up? That doesn't make any sense. Since when are you desperate to be a mom? If you wanted that so much, why did you marry a vampire?"

I had never thought about it that way. I sighed, before trying to figure out a way to explain my decision. He wouldn't understand. It was one of those things that you wouldn't get until you experienced it yourself. I tried anyway. "It's not like that. I didn't really care about having a baby. I didn't even think about it. It's not just having a baby." That part had actually freaked me out a little bit in the past. I'd seen the childbirth health videos and they weren't pleasant. I continued on, "It's…well… _this _baby."

He just stared at me for a few seconds, and then said, "It's a killer, Bella. Look at yourself."

I didn't need to; I was perfectly aware that I looked like crap. But, it wasn't fair that everybody blamed EJ for it. He hadn't done anything. "He's not. It's me. I'm just weak and human. But I can tough this out, Jake, I can—."

He cut me off, looking livid. "Aw, _come on_! Shut _up_, Bella. You can spout this crap to your bloodsucker, but you're not fooling me. You know you're not going to make it."

I glowered at him. He was being his normal, rude, pessimistic self. "I do not _know_ that. I'm worried about it, sure." I shrugged.

"_Worried_ about it," he repeated venomously. I was about to reply '_Yes_' fiercely, but I had the familiar sensation of being kicked in the stomach, which was exactly what had just happened. I gasped at the sheer power of it. How was it possible that we could both be dying, but he could still have the strength to cause me so much pain? I could not win, could I? Without thinking, I pulled at Edward's sweatshirt to inspect the damage. It was worse than I had expected.


	15. Edward's Offer

**DISCLAIMER**

**Um, I own one third of word #110 on page 329 in Breaking Dawn…wait no. Not even that much.**

I stared at my belly for a few seconds in shock, before remembering that Jake was sitting right there. I forced my eyes away from my bruises to see him gazing at my stomach, his mouth agape. I jerked the sweatshirt back in place, a few seconds too late. Would it be smart to act like nothing had happened? I didn't want to address what he had just seen.

"He's strong, that's all," I defended EJ, knowing that Jake wouldn't just let my injuries pass.

"Bella," he said, sounding like he was about to start crying again. I registered that the hard edge he normally had was absent. I looked up to meet his eyes. He had a similar expression to the one that Edward wore. "Bella, don't do this."

"Jake—" I began.

"Listen to me. Don't get you back up yet. Okay? Just listen. What if…" He trailed off, his voice thick with implications. Maybe I was missing something obvious, but I couldn't see where he was going with this.

"What if what?"

"What if this wasn't a one-shot deal? What if it wasn't all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a good girl, and kept yourself alive?"

"I won't—" I started angrily. I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't kill EJ, and that I wasn't going to die, but he didn't give me the chance.

"I'm not done yet. So you stay alive. Then you can start over. This didn't work out. Try again."

I frowned, not in the mood for a riddle. It wasn't nice of him to mess with my head when I didn't have any brain-food to help me along. Jake frowned too, his eyebrows crinkling. I touched the place where they met, smoothing his forehead.

I was silent, before giving up and just asking Jake for clarification. "I don't understand…What do you mean try again? You can't think Edward would let me…" I trailed off, letting Jake figure out what Edward wouldn't let me do. His frown deepened, so I could see that he understood. "And what difference would it make? I'm sure any baby—"

Yet again, he interrupted me. "Yes. Any kid _of his_ would be the same."

Wow, he was being _so_ helpful. "What?" I asked again.

He frowned silently, not having the nerve to continue on. He had said 'any kid _of his_'. Well, what did that mean? Of course, if I had a kid, it would be with Edward. He was my _husband_. I had another flashback. Just a few days ago, after Edward had had another break down, he had mentioned another one of his 'options'. Artificial insemination. Apparently, Jake believed in that, too.

My nostrils flared, and I glared over at Jake. "Oh. Ugh. _Please_, Jacob. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination?" I felt my anger building up. "Why would I want to have some stranger's baby? I suppose it just doesn't make a difference? Any baby will do?"

"I didn't mean that. Not a stranger," he muttered as I continued to gaze at him with a hostile expression.

"Then what _are _you saying?" I asked, leaning towards him.

"Nothing. I'm saying nothing. Same as ever," he answered sullenly. What the heck? Jake always had something to say. Something had changed. Had Edward said something outside?

"Where did that come from?"

"Forget it, Bella."

I looked at him suspiciously, trying to force him to meet my gaze. "Did _he _tell you to say that?" I asked. It would make sense. He wouldn't want Rosalie to hear his new form of attack, so that's why he went out of everyone's hearing distance.

"No," he answered, unconvincingly. He had hesitated before answering, which was an answer in itself.

"He did, didn't he?" I persisted.

"No, really. He didn't say anything about artificial whatever," Jake said immediately.

I believed him. If Edward _had_ told him to try to talk me into his latest option, Jake would at least have remembered what it was called. I felt another guilty wave roll over me. Involuntarily, I drooped back into the couch, feeling like my energy had just been sucked away from me. I felt horrible, in the guilty sense.

I stared off at the wall, thinking. It was the same one that Edward had been glaring at yesterday after I had thrown up another few crackers. I frowned, remembering. "He would do anything for me. And I'm hurting him so much…" I couldn't tell if I was saying these words in my head or out loud. I didn't care. I ran my hands along my stomach. "But what is he thinking? That I would trade this for some stranger's kid? Why can't he just…" My voice had been getting quieter and quieter until it finally disappeared into tears. I couldn't tell how many of my words Jake had caught.

I was vaguely aware that Jacob was talking to me, but I was more interested in trying to figure out his riddle from before. I was trying to connect the words 'try again' and 'not a stranger's' together.

"Not a stranger?" I murmured. Giving up on my brainpower again, I turned to Jake. "What exactly did Edward say to you?" I hoped that Edward couldn't hear me.

"Nothing. He just thought that you might listen to me."

"Not that," I said impatiently. "About trying again."

Finally, he met my gaze and it clicked together. Edward had needed to talk to Jake where no one could hear them. He had told Jacob to mention 'trying again'. Jake had said 'not a stranger'. _Jake_ wasn't a stranger.

"Wow," I said, unable to string multiple words together. I was too shocked. Jake looked down at the ground, like he was ashamed or something. Edward…was trying to get…Jake and I…to have…a… kid. Edward. _My_ Edward. He was trying to give me away to his bitter enemy. "He really would do _anything_, wouldn't he?"

"I told you he was going crazy. Literally, Bells."

Even under the dire circumstances, I grinned at Jacob. "I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away. Get him in trouble." I said, playfully.

He met my gaze again. "Thought about it." He attempted a smile too, but it was more like a grimace.

My seriousness returned. "There isn't much you wouldn't do for me, either, is there? I don't know why you bother. I don't deserve either of you."

"It makes no difference, though, does it?"

Nope. I sighed. "Not this time...I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand." I quickly let my mind go through any way for me to relate my love for EJ to something in his life. Well, I could relate it to something in _mine_. "I can't hurt him" –I indicated my belly—"anymore than I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him."

"Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?" He asked, completely missing the point.

"I don't think I do." I said stubbornly.

Jake was silent for a few seconds. "Trust me." He got up off of his knees.

"Where are you going?" I asked, a small amount of hysteria rising in my voice. I needed my sun to stay with me.

"I'm not doing any good here."

I held out my hand, knowing that I wouldn't be strong enough to make him stay with me if he didn't want to. I wouldn't have been able to do that with my full strength, even. "Don't go."

His expression didn't soften. "I don't belong here. I've got to get back."

"Why did you come today?" I asked, almost trying to buy myself more time with him.

"Just to see if you were really alive. I didn't believe you were sick like Charlie said." He answered. I had known that he wouldn't buy the whole 'sickness' story, but it still didn't make sense that he would come to see me, vampire-edition. Actually, it didn't really matter.

"Will you come back again? Before…" I couldn't finish.

"I'm not going to hang around and watch you die, Bella." He hissed bluntly.

I grimaced, before saying, "You're right, you're right. You _should_ go." The words were barely out of my mouth before he was just a few feet from the door. I bit my lip, fighting fresh tears. "Bye. Love you, Jake."

I felt another nudge from EJ, and I held my hands over my stomach, reminding myself that this sacrifice was _necessary_. It had to happen.

"Sure, sure," he said, before slamming the door behind him. I bit my lip harder, listening to the stunned silence that filled the house.

"Good bye," I whispered shakily under my breath, knowing that he was far away by now. I forced myself to etch every detail about him into my permanent memory bank before I could forget. His face. His laugh. His smell. His voice. His smile. Everything. "I'll miss you."


	16. Needles

**Once again, thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, subscribed to, and/or read this story. **

**DISCLAIMER**

**-sigh- anyone who can guess what I'm about to say gets a buck :P. I do not own Twilight. **

He was gone. Jake was gone. I would never, ever see him again. I closed my eyes, desperate to trap the tears inside. I would not let them fall. It wouldn't help anyway, they wouldn't bring him back. I had been saying good-bye to him over and over, but this time felt different.

Going through so much pain, I needed him to be here with me. But, I could hardly ask him to stay around and 'watch me die', as he had put it. I couldn't hurt him like that. He had to do what was best for him, and I couldn't blame him for that.

I felt cool arms wrap around me in a loose hug, careful not to hold me too tightly. I didn't need to look up to know that they were Edward's. He gently tried to soothe me with meaningless words. I also heard someone close by hiss under their breath. Rose didn't seem to like that Edward had gotten over to me before she had.

"I'm fine," I blubbered, shaking with silent sobs. "I knew that he wouldn't stay. I was stupid to think…" To think what? Had I really expected that Jake would hang around? Didn't I know him at all?

I don't know how long I went on like that, sobbing quietly while Edward gently stroked my hair. I just know that, when sleep came and took away the pain, I welcomed it. It didn't matter that I was still having nightmares.

I drifted in and out of my nap, not quite able to draw a definite line between the time that I was sleeping and the time that I was awake. Everything was blurry in both cases. When awake (or at least partially awake) I could hear the Cullens mumbling, but usually I didn't bother to comprehend what they were saying.

"She's getting pretty pale," I heard someone say. Though I couldn't recognize the specific voice, I could tell that it was a woman's. "I don't like her color…"

"What can I do?" Now that was a voice that I would recognize anywhere, even if it _was_ strained. I wanted to force myself to wake up and go comfort Edward, but the need for sleep was more powerful.

"She needs food," I heard someone else say thoughtfully. Well, of course I did.

"An IV?" Edward's voice again, turned in the opposite direction, with a spark of hope. "Will that work?"

"It would be worth a try." I sensed that someone had stood up, left the room, and returned three seconds later. My eyes flew open in panic.

Edward was at my side, with Rosalie right next to him. The rest of the family was standing in random places around the room. Carlisle was standing near the doorway, needle, hospital tape stuff, a band to tie around my arm, and rubbing alcohol in hand.

"IV?" I gulped. I tended to avoid needles at all cost. "Shouldn't we try…more crackers first?" I couldn't lift my head. The thought alone made me grimace.

"No. I-It wouldn't be a good idea in your…current condition…" Edward managed to choke out. I frowned.

"Why not? We've never been afraid to test my stomach in the past," I pointed out, fighting for my cause. Needles were on my top-ten most hated list.

"Bella, you're not—," Alice began, in the same tortured voice as Edward's.

I felt a sharp hunger pang, and I closed my eyes, weighing my options. Needle or hunger pangs? Well, basically needle or death?

"Needle," I answered myself immediately, wincing. I just wouldn't think about what was about to happen. Rosalie gently patted my hand.

"It's just a little needle. Carlisle's a good doctor," she tried to reassure me. Knowing what stress did to EJ, I couldn't tell if it was for my benefit or the baby's. Edward growled. Apparently, it was for the baby's.

"Right. Needle. Doctor," I gasped, feeling a little light-headed.

"Jasper…you might want to…" Edward said, turning to face the corner where Alice and Jasper were standing. Alice nodded, taking Jasper's hand and walking towards the front door. Emmett and Esme followed, leaving Edward, Carlisle, Rose, and I.

"Rosalie," Edward said coldly, indicating the door. Why was everyone leaving?

"Her blood's just as bad for you," Rose replied, matching his tone. "You leave, I leave. You stay, I stay." I groaned loudly. I hadn't even made the connection between blood and needles.

Edward was silent, listening to either Rosalie or Carlisle's thoughts. I heard him make a defiant noise.

"It won't take long, Edward. I think it'd be best if you and Rosalie weren't in here," Carlisle reasoned quietly. I started gasping, getting more and more nervous as I thought about the needle. And blood. I gagged.

The went silent and turned to watch me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'll be back soon," Edward said, before grasping onto Rosalie's arm and dragging her from the room. I guess he thought that I was gagging because of something more serious.

"Carlisle, if you do _anything_—," Rosalie began and a threatening voice, almost out the door.

"I won't, Rosalie. Now I have to hurry," Carlisle interrupted, almost impatiently. He approached me grimly. "Breath, Bella." I did like he said.

I glanced around, trying to think of something worth talking about. Anything to take my mind away from the needle. I realized that I wasn't on the couch anymore. Woah. The whole room had changed, and I had been completely oblivious to it.

I was on a hospital bed. Where did that come from? How did they move me without waking me up?

"Hospital bed?" I asked, too confused to actually form a full sentence.

"I can help you more when you're on a bed like this one," Carlisle explained, tying the band around my arm. I just responded with a grunt, feeling like I was about to throw up.

The rest passed in a blur. I had started saying something stupid about the cushy pillows in the hospital bed when I had gotten hurt down in Phoenix. It didn't really help much. I could still smell my blood, and I could still feel the needle go in. I heaved uselessly. There was absolutely nothing for me to throw-up.

Carlisle hooked the IV up to one of the clear bag things, and injected something into it. I didn't bother asking what.

"You did fine," Carlisle said, before running out of the room and returning with a cool wash cloth a few seconds later.

I held it to my forehead."I hate needles."

The rest of the family, led by Edward, returned a few seconds later. They all watched my face carefully. I blushed, not enjoying their intense stares. They stood completely still, not even blinking, for several minutes. As each minute went by, their faces changed from eagerness to desperation. They all looked a little bit insane.

The corner of Edward's lips turned down, as if he was about to choke up.

"_Nothing_. It's not doing _anything,_" Edward whispered, turning towards Carlisle.

"Do we need to put more in? Did you put the IV in completely?" Rosalie asked, still not tearing her eyes away from my face. "We could try again."

"What? Another IV?" I asked, starting to heave again.

"No, of course not. I did the IV as well as I usually do. It would have worked…if it was ever going to," Carlisle said, frowning.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice slip out of the room, shaking with what had to be silent sobs. Jasper gave me a pitying look before following her out, probably to go comfort her.

"Why am I so much worse?" I asked Carlisle quietly after a silent moment.

Rosalie looked up, practically hissing. "The stupid dog. He stressed you out."

"_He _didn't do anything wrong. _I _was stupid enough to think that he would stay around here until I…" I trailed off. Edward started trembling. "…become a vampire." I finished, with as much strength as I could. That wasn't what I was going to say originally, and I was sure everyone else could see that too.

The more appropriate ending would have been 'until I die'.


	17. Unexpected

**A/N: The numbring on my chapters got off, so please ignore the "END CHAPTER __" things in the following chapters. I'll get around to fixing everything eventually ^_^**

**DISCLAIMER I own Twilight. Yes, yes I do. And Harry Potter. And Eragon. And Inkheart… HAPPY OPPOSITE DAY! (and I have no idea when the real opposite day is, by the way)**

My eyelids were so heavy, but I hadn't been up for very long. I didn't want to go back to sleep. I wanted to be with Edward before I…wasn't able to anymore. I blinked and nearly slipped back into sleep right there.

"Her heart," Esme whispered in a faltering voice, turning to face Carlisle. With her eyes, she was begging him to reassure her that he had some other trick up his sleeve. Carlisle was silent. I hear Alice moan under her breath.

Carlisle turned to meet Esme's gaze, and then Edward's (wincing at what he saw), and then, finally, mine. There was something guilty about his expression. He was feeling bad because he couldn't save me, and that wasn't right. Just because he was a doctor was no reason for him to force the blame onto himself. He had been opposed to this from the very beginning. He had done everything he could for me.

Abruptly, Carlisle wasn't in the room anymore. I turned towards Edward curiously, but a gust of wind told me the he was already back. He was holding something in his hands. It took me a few seconds to realize that they were tubes and monitors of some sort.

"Tube me, baby," I whispered, gallantly trying to grin. It was a pathetic attempt to get a smile out of Edward, or at least bring some small glimmer of hope back into his eyes. The corners of his mouth didn't twitch at all. Damn.

Silently, Carlisle made his way over to me. Would this be the magic fix? Would these tubes buy me some more time? What were they supposed to…

I was so tired, which made absolutely no sense. I had unintentionally fallen asleep before Carlisle could 'tube me', though it still felt like I hadn't slept in weeks. Maybe if I could just get a few more minutes of sleep…

"…tell her? When do you think she'll wake up?" I heard someone ask. It sounded like Emmett.

"Now," I answered with a weak laugh. I forced my eyes open. Emmett and Rosalie were now standing, hand-in-hand, in the corner of the room. Alice and Jasper were near the doorway. Edward seemed to have moved a little bit, too, but he was still by my side. "Hi." I said, trying to smile at Emmett. The muscles in my face didn't want to cooperate.

"Hey, Little Sis," He said, failing at a grin back at me. "How're you doin'?"

I started laughing at the obvious answer to his question, but it turned into a few painful coughs. Edward moaned, Emmett and Jasper winced, Carlisle's eyes hardened, and Rose, Alice, and Esme all frowned.

"I'm good," I croaked, with a little smile. "You?"

"Great," He answered, sarcasm creeping into his tone.

I tried to lift my arm to brush my hair out of my face, but I felt something stopping it. I glanced down and found tubes and monitors attached to me, along with the IV. I glared at them for a minute, and then put my arm back down.

"Are they helping?" I asked, turning towards Edward and indicating the tubes and monitors. The corners of his mouth turned down like he was about to cry, and then he shook his head. "I'm sorry," I said, mentally chastising myself for asking. I had already known the answer.

"Me too," He choked out, brushing the hair in my face away. I smiled at him appreciatively.

"At least we tried. Maybe it just has a delayed reaction or something. It could still work." I said. In my heart, I knew that it wouldn't. Nobody said anything, but I wasn't going to sit in silence until sleep came and took me away again. That would be stupid and wasteful. I took a deep breath and then said, "I love you, Edward. You know that, right?"

He needed, looking away. He hesitated for a few seconds and then mumbled, "But you shouldn't." I couldn't tell if I was supposed to hear that or not, but it still made me mad.

"Of course I should. I loved you before. I love you now. And I always _will_ love you." '_Deal with it_.' I tacked on mentally. In response, he just nodded dejectedly. _Damn_ it. He needed to _not_ kick himself for all of my self-inflicted pain. It wasn't _fair_.

"Bella." Jasper said, raising his eyebrows at me.

"What?" I snapped, instantly feeling guilty. My frustration had come out in my voice.

"Don't get mad. Calm down," He said in an even voice. Ugh. He thought that it wasn't right for me to get mad at myself. I opened my mouth to retort, but he cut in. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that stress doesn't help you much."

"Oh, right. Sorry." I muttered sheepishly. I sat quietly, having managed to kill the conversation.

I ran over the last few minutes, figuring out what _not _to say and do next time I talked. But…wait a second. Hadn't Emmett said something else before asking when I'd wake up? Something about telling me…

"Tell me what?" I asked the room in general.

"What?" Alice asked before anyone else could.

"Tell me what?" I repeated. Impatiently, I elaborated because everyone still looked confused. "What were you going to tell me when I woke up?"

Rosalie was the one who answered. "Oh, that. The stupid dog is back. Apparently, he not smart enough to realize that we don't want him over here."

Jake was back? And they were _just_ telling me now?! I had thought that I was never going to see him again. I had sobbed my eyes out because I had thought that my best friend was gone!

"Bella." Jasper calmly reminded me to chill out. I just nodded, biting my lip in irritation.

"Where is he? Did he leave again?" I asked Edward, not wanting to hear Rose slam Jacob again.

"He's still here, Bella. He's just trying to get some sleep right now. You'll get to see him soon enough."

"Why did he come back?" I felt some strange need to go find him and…give him a hug or something.

I saw Edward exchange a loaded glance with Carlisle, who shook his head. Edward turned to face me. "No reason." Um, yeah. Sure.

"Seriously. I want to know." I stared Edward down, trying to get him to answer me.

"The pack was having some problems. Jacob, along with Seth, thought that it would be easier to break off and stay here, rather than at La Push. That's all." Edward answered in a robotic voice.

"Seth? What kind of problems? When's Jake going to be up?"

"Yes, Seth. I don't know when Jacob is going to get up. He had a long night." Edward slyly dodged my second question. I sighed. He wasn't going to tell me anything. Suddenly, he stiffened, listening to someone's thoughts.

"What?" I whispered. He didn't answer me A movement in my peripheral vision caused me to turn away from him in time to see Alice beckon for Emmett and Jasper to follow her out of the room. They did.

A few minutes later, Carlisle stood up and went out the front door. With a gentle smile at me, Esme left too. Rosalie moved back over to stand near my side.

"Why did everyone leave?" I murmered, staring at the place where Jasper, Alice, Esme, and Emmett had departed.

Edward, watching the front door and probably listening to Carlisle's thoughts, didn't say anything. Rosalie scrunched her nose, which was answer enough. Jake was already awake. He was just outside, talking to Carlisle.


	18. Blood: Part 1

**Hey :D Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed, favorited, or subscribed to this story. I'm really, really happy.–hands out free…avocados-**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. So does Little, Brown. Shocking, I know.**

Edward, Rosalie, and I sat silently. Edward was listening to either Jake or Carlisle's thoughts, I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that Jacob was just a few feet away, and Rosalie was staring Edward down suspiciously. _I _didn't see anything wrong with what Edward was doing, but apparently Rosalie did.

Jake needed to hurry up. It wouldn't be long before I fell asleep again, and that was the very last thing that I wanted. I'd be happy if I could just _see_ Jacob again, so why couldn't he come in here and then go talk to Carlisle later?

I turned away from the door that I had been hopefully watching to face Edward. I was about to ask if he could go get Jake, since I couldn't, but my words dissolved into a smile. Edward didn't look that same. He wasn't really excited, and he was a long way from happy, but there was something different in his eyes. They didn't look so dead anymore.

He met my gaze, and took one of my hands carefully. He said, "I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at him and then got up from the floor to stand closer to me. I looked away from Rose and back towards Edward, wondering if I'd misinterpreted the new look in his eyes. Maybe it was a _bad _thing. Was there was something else to worry about?

"Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?" Edward asked after gently brushing his lips against my hand. Rosalie met his gaze, looking for some hint that he was trying to trick her. The stared at each other for a few seconds, neither of them blinking.

"What is it, Edward?" I asked, not liking the suspense of the moment. Obviously _something_ that he wasn't telling me about had happened.

He blinked and then looked at me. "Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second." He didn't look away from my face as he said, "Please Rose?" It registered with me that he had just called her _Rose_. That was…weird. They hadn't been getting along much better recently than they had a few weeks ago. _Was_ he trying to trick us? Was he trying to be nice to Rosalie so that EJ might be more vulnerable?

Still suspicious, Rosalie slowly nodded at Edward. Without glancing away from him, she said in a normal voice, "Esme? Can you mind Bella for me?"

I frowned. Even if I was in a critical condition, I didn't like the way "mind Bella for me" sounded. It made me sound like I was a two-year-old or something.

With a small gust of wind, Esme suddenly appeared in the room. "Of course," she answered with a small, motherly smile. She made her way over to me as Edward and Rosalie departed.

I heard the door shut, and my breath caught in my throat. The last time that Edward was involved in a 'let's keep Bella out of this' conversation, it had ended in another attempt to convince me to let them take away EJ's life.

Surely, Esme could hear what was going on outside, but she never said anything, despite the curious, suspicious, and terrified looks that I was giving her. She just listened alertly, a thoughtful expression on her face. Edward just _had_ to shut the door behind him.

Sulking slightly and feeling secluded, I waited for them to come back inside. A few times, I realized that I wasn't breathing, and I would take a few shallow breaths. But, at least Rosalie wasn't shouting or anything like that. Apparently, what ever was going on out there, it didn't seem like they were planning on hurting EJ…yet.

A few long minutes later, I heard the door open and Edward, Rosalie, and Carlisle were abruptly in the room with me. I smiled a little bit on the inside, seeing Jake coming in, and taking up the rear.

Normally, I would have made a huge deal out of seeing Jake again, but I was more concerned with the secret meeting thing that he had just been a part of. Were they trying to convince Rosalie to turn on me? Would she do it? I doubted it.

Feeling frequent gusts of air, I looked away from Jake and back towards Rose, Edward, and Carlisle. They were hurrying around the room, but I couldn't see what they were doing.

Maybe Rosalie _had_ given up on me and EJ…

"What's going on?" I asked, a little bit of irritation coloring my tone. Instinctively, my hand fell to my stomach. Then again, it wouldn't do much good if Rosalie had decided to side with Edward.

"Jacob had an idea that might help you," Carlisle began. Jacob had an idea? Just like it had been "Jacob's" idea to suggest artificial insemination? I almost groaned under my breath. It was probably Edward's idea again. Another one of his 'options'. "It won't be…pleasant, but—."

"But it will help the baby," Rosalie cut in. She was almost bouncing up and down with anticipation. "We've thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe."

I blinked a few times, surprised. _'It won't be pleasant._' I giggled, almost starting to cough again.

"Not pleasant?" I repeated with a little smile. "Gosh, that'll be such a change." Starving to death had been really fun. And I absolutely _adored_ the IV. I turned to glower at the needle.

Everyone was silent except for Rosalie, who laughed with me. Good. It's always awkward to be the only one laughing at your own joke.

Edward stiffly stepped closer to me, without a smile or anything. He took my free hand and then said, "Bella, love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous. Repulsive."

The smile wiped off my face. If he didn't really consider IVs to be repulsive… "How bad?" I asked, trying not to let fear come through in my voice.

Carlisle was the one who answered me. "We think the fetus might have an appetite close to ours than to yours. We think it's thirsty."

Thirsty. _Thirsty_. The word echoed through my head, waiting for me to register exactly what it meant. Eventually, I understood. Nervous and unable to completely form a sentence, I said, "Oh. _Oh_."

"Your condition—both of your conditions—are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory—."

"I've got to drink it," I said slowly nodding. Thirsty. Blood. Me. Drinking. I was still trying to comprehend the idea. "I can do that. Practice for the future right?" I mumbled, grinning and trying to get Edward to grin back. He didn't. "So, who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" I asked, trying to sound like I didn't think that drinking blood was a big deal.

Everyone became a little bit stiffer, and I saw Edward and Carlisle exchange a meaningful look.

"What?" I asked, frowning.

"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella," Carlisle said cautiously. I continued to gaze at him.

"_If_ the fetus is craving blood, it's not craving animal blood," Edward added.

I raised my eyebrows, almost gagging. "It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it," Rosalie said quickly.

I felt my eyes get even wider. I was going to drink a _human's_ blood. I couldn't even handle _seeing _blood. But drinking it…

"Who?" I asked, praying that I didn't already know the answer. Jake was the only one here who had blood. He had pretty much said that he would do anything for me. No, he wouldn't do _that_. Would he? Horrified, I turned to gaze at him.

"I'm not here as a donor, Bells. 'Sides it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies—," Jake muttered.

"We have blood on hand. For you—just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think that the baby will be so much better."

I ran my hand along my stomach, thinking. I had absolutely nothing to lose. So much to gain.

"Well, _I'm _starving, so I'll bet he is, too. Let's go for my first vampire act," I smiled again, trying to hide just how nervous I was.


	19. Blood: Part 2

**Let's spice it up and write it in pig latin, shall we? I ode otne wnoe ilightte. Epheniese eyerme oesde. **

**Translated: I do not own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does.**

In the next second, Carlisle and Rosalie were gone to go get the blood that I would be drinking...which sounded pretty disgusting. But it would be worth it. I could save EJ's life. I could stay with Jacob. I wouldn't have to say goodbye to Edward.

I felt Edward's gaze on me, and I looked up to meet his eyes. They were dead again, which didn't make a whole lot of sense. There was a chance that I was going to live. At least, a _better_ chance.

Even though they were dead, I was lost in his eyes. They were almost completely black because he wouldn't leave to go hunting. He was starving, just like I was and he wouldn't do anything to change it. It made me want to cry.

I don't know how long Edward and I silently stared at each other, oblivious to everything else. After at least a few minutes, someone came back downstairs and ran into the kitchen to get something. Was it blood? When I opened their fridge, I probably would have noticed if there was a huge cup of blood sitting on one of the shelves. Maybe I was just really unobservant…

Rose started leaving the kitchen when Edward muttered, almost too low for me to hear, "Not _clear_, Rosalie," He rolled his eyes. Clear? Clear…what? Well, whatever he said made sense to her because she went back into the kitchen and closed the door again.

I had completely forgotten that Jake was there, being nervous, hopeful, and just kind of out-of-it. Wanting to include him, I said, "This was your idea?" At first my voice had almost been too quiet to hear, so I tried to be louder.

He frowned, before coming close to me. "Don't blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head."

I smiled, realizing how much it helped that he was here with me. "I didn't expect to see you again." My face fell a little bit, remembering.

"Yeah, me either," he said. Maybe he would tell me the real reason that he and Seth had broken off from the pack. Edward had been so vague, which was kind of annoying. 'They had problems'. Well, there were a lot of different 'problems' out there. He was probably trying to avoid telling me that _I _was the reason that they broke off.

"Edward told me what you had to do," –part of it anyway—"I'm sorry."

Apparently, I was right in assuming that I had played a part in the pack's 'problems' because Jacob said, "S'okay. It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do."

'Sam wanted me to do'? What did that mean? What had Sam wanted them to do? I blinked. Sam would have found out about EJ. Would he want to…hurt EJ? Yes, he would, but Jake wouldn't have a problem with that. And it wouldn't bother Jacob to hurt any of the Cullens either, except…me. I_ was_ the reason that Jake and Seth were separated from the pack.

"And Seth," I added as guilt washed over me.

"He's actually happy to help," Jacob said in an attempt to make me feel better. Once again, people thought that I didn't deserve to see the pain that _I _had single-handedly caused.

"I hate causing you trouble," I muttered, which didn't sound right. 'Trouble' wasn't a strong enough word to describe what I was causing my best friend.

He laughed bitterly. I wanted to kick myself, knowing what he was thinking, but I just settled for a sigh. "I guess that's nothing new, is it?" I murmured, having a replay of all the pain and misery I'd caused him flash through my mind.

"No, not really." Jake was probably working not to roll his eyes.

We were both silent for a few seconds and I realized that he probably felt obligated to be here, but he didn't want to be. It was true that best friends are supposed to be there for each other, but this wasn't a very common circumstance.

"You don't have to stay and watch this," I whispered, feeling a wave of nausea come over me as I remembered what I was about to do.

"I don't really have anywhere else to go," he began in a flat voice. "The wolf thing is a lot less appealing since Leah joined up."

"Leah?" I repeated, making sure that I'd heard him correctly. I could understand why Jacob and Seth had broken off of the pack to avoid hurting me, but Leah? She despised me, along with the rest of my family.

Jacob looked surprised at my reaction. He turned to glance at Edward. "You didn't tell her?" he asked. I recognized his tone. It was the one that he had used a few times before when he had thought that Edward was being over-protective.

I turned to look at Edward as well, and I found that he was still staring at me with lifeless eyes.

"Why?" I asked, deciding that I couldn't meet Edward's dead gaze.

Jacob heisted, and then answered, "To keep an eye on Seth." It was the pause that caught my attention. Was he lying to avoid telling me the real reason that Leah had come? Why would he need to? Was Leah a threat to any of us?

"But Leah hates us," I mused, not letting the issue pass.

"Leah's not going to bug anyone. She's in my back so she follows my lead," Jacob grumbled, grimacing. Obviously, they didn't get along too well, so she had absolutely no loyalty to our side. Without loyalty, she could turn on us so easily that it was kind of scary. Apparently, my face betrayed some of what I was thinking because Jake looked at me incredulously before snarling, "You're scared of _Leah_, but you're best buds with the psychopath blonde?"

Everyone was determined to blame either Rose or EJ for all of my problems, yet they refused to blame the person that was at the center of everything; me. I frowned at him. "Don't. Rose…understands."

"Yeah, she understands that you're gonna die and she doesn't care s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal," he hissed in return.

Usually Edward would cut in if Jake said something rude like that, but I guess his thoughts were along the same line because he remained silent, so I came to Rose's defense. "Stop being a jerk, Jacob," I said with a glare.

He grimaced, but I could see that it was really a failed smile. "You say that like it's possible."

I pursed my lips, not wanting to let him get away with he had just said. But, just like a number of times before, I couldn't keep a beam back for long. It felt so nice to smile.

In the next second, Carlisle and Rosalie returned. Rosalie was shooting daggers at Jacob, but he didn't seem to notice, which was good. This house probably couldn't handle very much more tension before it finally snapped.

Soon, they were both at my side and Carlisle cautiously, almost awkwardly, handed me the cup full of blood. I cringed inwardly. I tried not to breathe to avoid that salty, rusty smell that had nearly caused me to faint in the past. Just the idea of actually _drinking_ that…

"We could try another method," Carlisle hesitantly interrupted my thoughts.

I had to look at my options. It was either drink the…stuff or _die_. Drink it or lose Edward forever. Drink it or lose EJ forever. Drink it or lose…_me_ forever. Well, put like that, the smart decision would be obvious to anyone, with brain food or not.

"No," I began in a weak voice that probably told everyone just how terrified I was. I quietly cleared my throat and then continued on in a stronger voice, "No, I'll try this first. We haven't got time…"

In a panic, my hand flew down to cover my belly. If EJ even lasted through the _night_ it would be a miracle.

Ignoring the nauseous feeling that was threatening to overtake me, I grabbed the cup. I had to do this quickly. If I thought about it too much, I would psyche myself out and EJ would starve to death.

The cup actually felt heavy, which was really sad. Actually, _everything_ felt heavy, so there wasn't any reason for the cup to be any different. Even my own _head_ felt like it was being held down with weights or something as I tried to lift it up enough to drink the…blood.

Understanding what I was struggling to do, Rosalie carefully put her hands underneath my shoulders, doing all the work for me. "Thanks," I whispered. I saw Edward's eyes harden and Jake was looking at me with his mouth open a little bit. He probably hadn't realized how weak I had gotten until he saw it first-hand.

I looked around, aware that every face in the room was alertly watching me, not blinking. Being the center of attention wasn't fun, especially when I was doing something as weird as drinking a cup full of blood.

"Don't mind them," Rosalie said, soothingly. That was easier said than done.

Pretending that I was just back at Charlie's house, drinking a cup of water, I raised the cup to my nose, anticipating the sickening smell that was coming. Slowly, closing my eyes, I sniffed. I nearly gasped out loud. It was the exact opposite of the normal smell of blood. It was so sweet, almost to the point that it was sickening. I sniffed again. It smelled _good_. I wanted it. I _really_ wanted.

As I pulled my head away from the smell, I grimaced, appalled. Sometime, since the pregnancy started, I had gone insane. I had just nearly ripped the lid off of a cup full of a _person's _blood and chugged it down. Ugh.

Misinterpreting the look on my face, Edward murmured, "Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way." He held his hand out to take the cup.

I was trying to come up with a way to protest while still sounding at least partially sane when Rosalie cut in. "Plug your nose," she recommended, not looking at me, but instead scowling at Edward's outreaching hand looking like she could bite it off.

I inwardly sighed. I guess it was time to correct Edward. He'd love me anyway, psychotic or not. "No, that's not it." I took a deep breath, both collecting my thoughts and making sure that the sweet smell wasn't just a hallucination. In the voice that would use when confessing to a crime, I muttered, "It smells good."

"That's a good thing. That means we're on the right track. Give it a try," Rosalie said immediately, making me feel a little bit better. No one looked shocked or anything like that, so maybe this was what they had been hoping for all along.

I nodded, or tried to anyway, and then put the straw between my lips, not breathing. This wasn't a big deal. There wasn't anything wrong with this picture. This was the magic fix. It had to be. We had run out of possible magic fixes. After this, there wouldn't be any more.

With my eyes closed, trying not to think or breathe, I took a hesitant sip. Wow. If it was possible the blood was even sweeter than the smell. I had never tasted anything close to human blood before. _Wow_.

I stopped sipping and pulled my lips away, able to think straight again. I moaned, horrified. I liked human blood. I, Bella Swan, who used to faint at the sight of blood, now drink it because it is the best drink in the whole world... How disgusting.

I felt one of Edward's hands on my face.

"Bella, love—," he began before I cut him off. There was no point in trying to lie about it. I didn't even _want _to.

"I'm okay," I whispered, opening my eyes. Both Edward and Jacob were a step closer to me than they had been before. "It _tastes _good, too." I stopped myself from continuing on; there was no need to tell them just how good.

"That's good. A good sign," Rosalie said, looking almost giddy.

Edward didn't say anything, but as carefully as he could, he cupped his hand around my cheek. I took that as an indication that I should take another drink. I sighed, still not enjoying all of the intense stares and attention.

Throwing caution to the wind, I took a much bigger gulp, almost grinning. It still tasted just as good as before. Once I had taken a reasonable sized drink, I looked around the room, blushing again.

"How's your stomach? Do you feel nauseated?" Carlisle asked.

I shook my head, thrilled that I could actually give an answer that they _wanted_ to hear. "No, I don't feel sick." I remembered all of the different foods and drinks that I had tried, each one having the same result. Except this one. "That's a first, eh?"

Rosalie was grinning from ear to ear as she said, "Excellent."

"I think that it's a bit early for that, Rose," Carlisle said reasonably, reminding me that everything wasn't necessarily fixed yet. But, there was pretty good chance that it would be soon enough. Thank you, magic fix. You saved my baby's life.


	20. Danger

**Check out the username. Does it say Stephenie? Does it say Little, Brown? I didn't think so.**

* * *

"I did it," I murmured, feeling absolutely elated. I had managed to drink an entire cup of blood _and_ keep it down for at least a few minutes. Maybe I was imagining it, but I felt like I was already starting to feel stronger. I turned to look at Carlisle. "If I keep this down, Carlisle, will you take the needles out of me?" I asked, preparing an argument if he said no.

"As soon as possible," he said, making me smile a little bit. "Honestly, they aren't doing much good where they are."

Today would mark that day that everything fell into place and would start going back uphill again. Rosalie kindly patted my forehead and I glanced up and could see that she was thinking the exact same thing.

I turned to gauge everyone else's reactions and I was thrilled to see that their moods had improved right along with mine. The biggest difference was between the pre-blood Edward and the after-blood version. He had hope for the first time since he had lost the battle over EJ with Rosalie and I. _This _was the Edward that I had been desperate to see and have sitting beside me.

I turned back to face Rose when she asked, "Would you like more?"

My initial thought was to agree, but, thinking again, horror washed over me. I was like two different people. Half of me was thirsting for human blood, while the other half still managed to be utterly repulsed by it. My shoulders slumped as I decided to give into the more disturbing part of me.

I saw Edward glower over at Rosalie for a few seconds, before pointedly turning away and saying, "You don't have to drink more right away."

My shoulders hunched over further. "Yeah, I know. But…" I hesitated, cautiously choosing my words. Flushing, I confessed, "I _want_ to."

In what was probably meant to be a calming gesture, Rose ran her fingers through my hair. "You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella. Your body has cravings. We all understand that." My face grew even hotter at her words. Most pregnant women _did_ have cravings, but blood wasn't one of them. I didn't have time to point this out because Rosalie continued on, in a sharp voice, "Anyone who doesn't understand that shouldn't be here."

I saw Rose throw a dark look at Jacob, obviously speaking with him in mind. I glanced at him too, having almost forgotten that he was there. Now that there wasn't anything else occupying my mind, I really saw him. His eyes were bloodshot, and I squinted and was able to see dark bags underneath his eyes. Jacob's shoulders were hunched forward, like he was too tired to stand straight, and his face had taken up a greenish tint.

While I was still taking in Jake's appearance, Carlisle appeared and took the empty cup off of my hands, saying, "I'll be right back."

I nodded slightly in response, and then turned my focus back on Jacob. Reprovingly, I murmured, "Jake, you look awful."

He narrowed his eyes, and then retorted, "Look who's talking,"

I frowned as he turned the attention back on to me. Ignoring his comment, I asked, "Seriously—when's the last time you slept?"

He was silent for a few seconds, but I could tell that he was thinking up an answer, so I didn't press him. "Huh. I'm not actually sure," he answered with hardly any feeling in his voice.

My frown deepened at his vague answer. He wasn't taking care of himself, and that was my fault, too. Just like with Edward, it was like our conditions were connected. He wouldn't let himself be healthy if I wasn't. Genuinely upset, I said, "Aw, Jake. Now I'm messing with your health, too. Don't be stupid." I saw his jaw tense, but he didn't look like he was going to reply so I murmured, "Get some rest, please. There're a few beds upstairs—you're welcome to any of them."

I offered because I liked having him near me, and I was kind of hoping that he and Edward could fix some of their old problems if they actually got to know each other.

Jake glanced at Rosalie out of the corner of his eye, before declining. "Thanks, Bells, but I'd rather sleep on the ground. Away from the stench, you know."

I winced, remembering. Jacob wouldn't be spending any more time here than necessary. "Right," I muttered, disappointed.

I absently chewed on my lip, thinking. Even if Jake didn't want to have a part in my death, why would he come _here_, of all places? He had left just a few days ago, intent on never seeing me again. Maybe the idea of saying goodbye to me permanently was even more painful for him than he was letting on.

Carlisle returned after refilling the cup. He handed it to me wordlessly, and instinctively, I took it and sucked all of the blood down.

I could feel everyone's gaze again, but I didn't let it bother me. It didn't look like any of the Cullens thought that this was a huge deal, and Jake was the only had a small hint of nausea on his face.

Careful not to move the tubes attached to me, I pulled myself into a sitting position. It still took a fair amount of effort, but I had enough strength to do it.

"How do you feel now?" Carlisle asked, shortly after I was finished.

"Not sick. Sort of hungry…" I began, before adding, "Only I'm not sure if I'm hungry or _thirsty_, you know?" My guess was that it was hunger, because I'd just downed enough blood to last EJ a while.

Grinning, Rosalie murmured, "Carlisle, just look at her. This is obviously what her body wants. She should drink more."

"She's still human, Rosalie," Carlisle reminded her. I didn't really feel all that human, carrying a half-vampire baby and all, but I remained silent. "She needs food, too. Let's give her a little while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound particularly good to you, Bella?"

Without pausing to think, I told him that I wanted eggs. I beamed at Edward, remembering out time at Isle Esme. How many cartons had I gone through? I couldn't remember a specific number, but it had been a _lot_.

A little bit too stiffly, Edward returned my grin. I would have liked to see a little bit more gusto, but it was still an improvement from before.

I was smiling at him encouragingly, appreciating his effort when he quietly said, "Jacob, you really should sleep. As Bella—"—I grinned even wider, thrilled that he didn't struggle to get my name out like normal—"said, you're certainly welcome to the accommodations here, though you'd probably be more comfortable outside. Don't worry about anything—I promise I'll find you if there's a need."

"Sure, sure," Jacob agreed, sounding exhausted. Edward muttered something to Jake, causing him to nod.

Gently, Jake put his hand on top of mine and whispered, "Feel better."

"Thanks, Jacob," I murmured, not only thanking him for what he had just said, but for everything that he had done for me period. I turned my hand upward, so that our palms were pressing against each other. I gave his hand a squeeze.

A shadow fell across his face as he turned towards the door and said, "Get her a blanket or something."

Before he had a chance to make it out the door to get some much needed sleep, he froze in his tracks and everyone in the room was suddenly tense. I was looking between their faces worriedly, searching for an explanation when I heard it. Barely loud enough for me to hear, two warning howls echoed through the sky.

Jake was suddenly moving again, taking long strides towards the door. With a growled "Dammit", he was gone. So that was why Jacob had decided to come here specifically. We were still in danger.

* * *

**If you're not being chased by murderously angry gorillas, please do review. And if you **_**are**_** being chased by pissed off gorillas, just give them back their dang banana and THEN review. Well fine then. If you really want the banana that badly, eat it, get fixed up in the hospital, and THEN come and write a review. ;)**


	21. Confusion

**All Twilight characters and related material belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

I gazed at the front door, listening intently. Jacob shouldn't have just darted out of the room like that, without more than a mumbled curse. What if something happened to him? Did he know something that I didn't? Was Seth in some serious trouble? Or maybe Leah? What if Sam's pack hurt them? They were outnumbered, and that thought made me feel sick to my stomach. Automatically, I put my head back down on my pillow and returned to lying on the hospital bed.

After realizing that I didn't have a chance of hearing whatever was going on with Jacob while he was so far away, I glanced over at Edward. For once, his eyes weren't glued to my face. Instead, they were slightly narrowed as he focused on something. Maybe he could hear the conversation all the way from here. Or maybe he was just reading someone's mind.

I chewed on my lip, silently watching his face for a clue about the situation. I was debating over whether or not I should break Edward's concentration and just ask what he was hearing, when he turned to face me.

He took a look at me and his eyebrows scrunched together. I felt my heart stop, assuming that I was right in thinking that there at least some sort of danger that we would all be facing soon. I opened my mouth to stutter out some demand for information.

"Edward—"I began in a voice so loud that it almost made me jump. I had grown accustomed to the quiet, wispy voice that I'd had up until a few seconds ago. I stated the obvious. "Something's wrong."

"Is it the blood?" Edward cut in with an expression like he'd just been kicked in the gut. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a frowning Rosalie watching me.

I took a look at Esme and Carlisle and I saw that they were both staring at me with the corners of the mouth turned down, too.

"I was so sure that it was…" Esme trailed off, quietly. What the heck were they talking about?

"Do you think that you're going to get sick soon?" Carlisle asked, looking defeated.

I paused, trying to comprehend his comment. "What are you all talking about? You're trying to change the subject, aren't you? What happened? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Edward's eyebrows shot up, and I could see a glimmer of hope return to his eyes. "What are _you _talking about?"

"Jacob!" I answered in a surprised voice.

Edward's eyes widened slightly, and cautiously he asked, "What's wrong with Jacob?"

I pursed my lips, guessing that he was trying to avoid the subject again. Not letting it slide, I said, "That's what I want to know."

Edward was silent, thinking about something. Then, almost as if he couldn't believe the words that he was saying, he inquired, "When you said that something was wrong, you weren't referring to yourself?" I shook my head slowly, taking guesses at what was going through his head. "Then why did you lie down? And turn white?"

"Because I was getting myself all worked up about Jacob and the pack!" I answered, wondering how he hadn't guessed that in the first place. Edward's face lit up, and a smile larger than I'd seen in a long time crept up on his face.

"You're not going to throw up or anything? For once, something actually _worked_?" Rosalie asked, a full-blown grin covering her face.

"That's what you were worried about? That the blood wasn't working out well for me?" I said, feeling a flood of relief wash over me. Edward hadn't been worried about _Jake_ at all. He was just terrified that I was slipping back into my old condition. Edward nodded, looking like he wanted to give me a hug, or something along those lines. "I'm great. I feel better than I have in… a while. I think that this stuff is going to stay down for a while."

I saw Carlisle and Esme exchange a thrilled glance, and Rosalie's eyes were shining as she beamed at me.

I turned back towards Edward, soaking up this new, hopeful version of him. "I kept the blood down. So…I don't need the tubes anymore," I stated imploringly, trying not to let my eagerness come through in my voice.

Edward must have heard some of my hope come through because the corners of his mouth turned up even further and he turned to face Carlisle, who nodded with a smile that showed his perfect teeth.

I sat back up, and hesitated before saying, "I don't really need all of this stuff anymore, either." I indicated the whole hospital set-up. I was probably pushing my luck, but it seemed like everyone had been empowered with hope in the past few minutes, so I figured, why not?

"I think you're right," Carlisle said simply.

A few minutes later, the Cullen's living room actually looked like a living room, and I was almost tube free. I only had one IV still attached to my arm. Edward was sitting nearby, silently listening to what was going on with Jacob and the pack.

Quietly, so as to not disturb Edward, I murmured to Rosalie, who was leaning against the couch, "I think that everything looks like it just might be okay."

Instead of Rosalie, it was Edward who responded. "I think that you could be right about that."

I saw Rose roll her eyes before muttering, "That's what I've been telling you for a while now."


	22. The Catch

**I do not own…whatever. You know the drill. You've gotta be getting as sick of reading it as I am of writing it. If not, go to one of the previous chapters and read the disclaimer to your heart's content.**

* * *

Just like they always do in movies, I gave my arm a quick pinch, but the world around me didn't disappear. So, I really _wasn't _in dreamland after all. In the past half an hour or so, everything had gone uphill so quickly that I was still trying to catch up, to comprehend that Edward and Rosalie didn't hate each other anymore. That Jacob, Seth, and Leah weren't in any danger. That EJ wasn't going down. Everything was just too perfect.

Well, not perfect. There's always a catch, no matter what. That was one of those life lessons that I learned a long time ago. In this case, though, the catch was almost nothing. In fact, it was almost a _good_ thing. Because I was already growing stronger, so was EJ. And I could feel it. Literally.

After being properly fed and given the right amount of energy, EJ did what any baby would be expected to do. He kicked. Although the strength of these new kicks wasn't necessarily fun-filled for me, any sign that EJ was doing alright was enough to make my heart swell with happiness. That was what counted. I could handle the new bruises that would be showing up in any minute now.

"What are you doing?" Rosalie asked, staring at my arm. I looked down and saw that I was unconsciously still pinching it. I let go immediately and just shrugged in response.

I heard the front door close, and in returned Edward after he'd been gone for just a few seconds. I shot him a quizzical glance and he gave me a small smile, and then explained, "Clothes for Jacob."

I nodded, and then tried to sit up so that Edward could sit on the couch next to me. It was difficult, but not for the same reasons as before. Now, I was definitely strong enough, but I just needed to learn how to move with such a huge belly. Seeing what I was attempting to do, Edward walked over to me and put his hands on my back and helped me. Immediately, I let out an involuntary yelp. Apparently, EJ didn't like it when I sat up like that.

Edward's hands jumped back as if they were burned. Carlisle, who had stayed in the room to see if the new family room set-up was a good idea after all, stood up from the chair he was sitting in and came closer to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme stick her head back around the corner, and then she came to stand by Carlisle's side.

I glared fixedly at the wall in front of me, without saying a word. I didn't want to burst the euphoric bubble that everyone was living it. So far, I'd managed to cover up the pain from EJ's kicking, and I didn't want to reveal it now. Edward deserved more than a few semi-happy minutes.

"Bella?" Edward began in a pained voice. My mind raced through possible explanations, knowing that I didn't have very much time left to think. After a heavy silence, Edward tried again. "Bella, honey?" There was another loaded silence. "What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" I murmured, biting my lip. "Nothing's wrong." I looked around, seeing concern on each of their faces. Whether it was because of what had just happened, or because they knew I was lying, I couldn't really tell. "I'm just…cold," I whispered. "I jumped because your hands were cold."

Carlisle hesitated slightly before turning away from me and returning with two thick quilts. Edward still looked worried and slightly suspicious, so I bent my legs just enough for him to have room to sit down, in hopes of distracting him. Quickly, he took both blankets from Carlisle and somehow tightly wrapped me up in them in just a few seconds. Gracefully, he settled into the empty space I'd made him. He put my feet in his lap, somewhat cautiously. He was probably terrified that I was going to cry out again.

When I didn't show any other signs of pain, Carlisle slowly relaxed and sank back into his chair. With a fleeting a look at her husband, Esme moved to lean against the doorway to the kitchen. Rosalie seemed to be the only one who still hadn't softened, so I did the first thing that came to mind. If the house wasn't silent anymore, maybe Rose wouldn't feel the need to press the issue.

"Edward? Could you hand me that remote, please?" I requested, indicating the TV remote sitting on the arm of the sofa. He handed it to me wordlessly and I pressed the power button. I saw that the channel that it turned on to was _Lifetime_. It was playing some movie that I recognized, though I couldn't quite name. Ironically, there was some line in the movie that rang a bell, and then it clicked. The movie was Mom at Sixteen. Great.

Not in the mood to watch a movie about being a teen mother, I flipped through the channels before just leaving it on some random movie—a romance by the look of it.

Everyone was silent and still, lost in their own thoughts that were probably the happiest ones that any of us had had in a long time. These thoughts were interrupted as Edward's head abruptly snapped up to face the front door. I glanced up too, and found Jake standing there, wearing tan pants and a white shirt. The clothes were a little bit too short for his body, even though I guessed that they were Emmett's. Maybe sometime I could ask Alice to go buy him some sweatpants or something since I couldn't do it myself.

As I looked at Jake, I felt a warm smile spread across my face. If I actually _asked_ Alice to go shopping...well, she probably wouldn't choose to buy sweatpants. Surely she'd want to find something more "in-style" than that. Whatever she would get, it would probably be painful for Jacob. I almost laughed, imagining the look on his face if he were to find a pair of jeans with a price tag of a thousand dollars tacked onto it.

I continued grinning without really having a real reason to. It was almost like I didn't have a choice. Jake was here, so I was happy. That would have to be reason enough because I liked smiling. It was something that I hadn't been doing a whole lot of lately.

"…repeating myself," Jacob said, with a hint of resentment in his voice. That was all I had caught when I realized that Jake and Edward were having a conversation at all. It was strange for me to get lost thinking about Jacob like that. It had never happened before.

"I'd tell you to go get some sleep, but my guess is that you're going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there's probably no point," I said, seeing his eyes drooping already.

He headed towards the door, slowly counting as he went. He had gotten up to two seconds when Rosalie cut in with a snide comment. In response, Jacob threw a blonde joke at her and then just continued out the door. Edward laughed, watching Rose's face turn sour. "I already heard that one," she snapped at Jake, although he was already out the front door.

"Sorry, Rose," I apologized on Jake's behalf. They'd always hated each other, but the ice between them was even thicker because she had helped save EJ.

In the next second Edward was on his feet, walking towards the front door. "Where are you going?" I asked. At first, I thought he was angry that I had just defended Rosalie so he was leaving, but of course he would never do something like that.

"There was something I forgot to say to him," he replied.

I shook my head before saying, "Let Jacob sleep—it can wait." Couldn't Edward see the way Jake's shoulders sagged from exhaustion? And his bloodshot eyes? Jacob was almost dead on his feet.

"It will only take a minute," Edward stated simply, before smiling and heading out the door. Rosalie glowered after him.

"Rose?" I paused for a second, and she turned to look at me. "I know you don't really like Jake, but—." I broke off as Rosalie grew livid. "Do you think that we really need more drama?" I finished quickly. "You don't have to talk to him or anything like that. It'd probably be better if you didn't, actually. But, doesn't a calm—?" I broke off with a cry of pain. I felt a sharp throbbing in my ribcage, right where EJ had just kicked.


	23. The First Broken Bone

**DISCLAIMER: -sings "I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked-. Yeah, "that girl" that I'm referring to is Stephenie Meyer. That basically means that I don't own Twilight or related material.**

* * *

Rosalie was on her feet in a second, watching me with wide eyes. I met her gaze, blinking back a few tears as I curled up into a ball. Under my breath, I hissed at another sharp throb from my side. I held my hand over it protectively, trying not to put any pressure on it.

I saw Carlisle and Esme exchange a glance before hurrying over to my side. Rosalie held me while I took a deep, steadying breath, only to feel another painful stab in my side. With a probably-broken rib, deep breathing was one of my stupider ideas. It certainly wasn't _helping_ the pain. If anything, it was making it worse.

As I started panting, I cool gust of air told me that Edward had heard my quiet cry from just a few seconds ago. I looked up to see that he was standing about a foot away from the couch with a sick look on his face.

Wincing, I tried to adjust my position so that I could see him a little bit better. Next to Edward, Carlisle stepped forward with an outreached arm. I think that he was planning on moving my protective hand to take a look at my side, but I shook my head at him. "Give me a second, Carlisle," I muttered, through somewhat clenched teeth. I needed to recover a bit more first.

"Bella, I heard something crack."—Didn't we all?—"I need to take a look," Carlisle explained with a hint of fear in his voice.

"Pretty sure it was a rib," I told him. Another pang told me that I was right. "Ow. Yep. Right here," I said, taking my hand away to point at the source of my hurt.

The news didn't seem to surprise anyone, though Edward's pitch-black eyes did harden a little bit. "I need to take an X-ray," Carlisle began. I cringed at the idea of having to move. "There might be splinters. We don't want to puncture anything," he reasoned quietly, seeing my apprehension.

_Splinters. _Just what I needed on top of everything else. I took another deep breath, cringing slightly. The throbbing had just been starting to go away, but since I was stupid enough to make the same mistake twice in a row, it had already returned. "Okay," I said, bracing myself for more agony.

Rosalie lifted me up as cautiously as she could, but I still had to clench my jaw tightly to avoid making a sound. Over my labored breathing, I heard Rose snap, "I've already got her." I didn't bother trying to figure out who she was talking to.

I bit my lip as she bounded up the stairs, each step dumping more misery on me than the last. I closed my eyes, and finally Rosalie stopped and gently put me down on something soft and cushy. I could tell that it was either a bed or a couch. Slowly, I opened my eyes to find Edward hovering nearby, Esme standing at the door, and Carlisle turning on the machine already.

He gave me a lead jacket type thing that, unfortunately, put a lot of weight on my side. I whimpered quietly, but the noise the X-ray machine made overshadowed it.

***

Soon, the X-rays were taken, and Carlisle was one-hundred percent positive that I had cracked a rib. He left for a few seconds and then returned with medical tape. I sat up as well as I could, and he wrapped it tightly around my side. I heard Edward growl quietly, and I looked up to see that he was glowering at a wall behind me, though probably not really seeing anything.

"What?" I asked, taking in his hate-filled expression. His eyes met mine. "Why are you looking like that?"

He opened his mouth, and started saying something, before promptly snapping it shut again. He took a deep breath then forced a small smile on his face. "Looking like what?" he murmured with bitterness in his voice.

"What's wrong? You look mad," I mumbled. He just shook his head at me in response. Pursing my lips, I stared him down, searching his face for an explanation. When it didn't provide one, I just frowned at him sadly, and sat up a little bit more, getting ready to go back downstairs.

Rosalie understood what I was trying to do and she picked me up with ease and walked past Edward and out the door. With Edward, Carlisle, and Esme following us, we slowly made our way down the stairs and back to the couch.

Once I was comfortably lying down, with only a dull pang coming from my rib, Edward turned to Rose and growled, "You didn't need to carry her."

Rosalie waved his words off. "I know. It's no problem," she said in tone that suggested that she thought that Edward was _thanking _her. Maybe I was wrong, but it sounded more like he was irritated with her than anything.

Edward mumbled something under his breath, eyebrow raised angrily as he scowled over at Rose. Was _she_ who he had been thinking about with that terrifying look upstairs? Why would she be? They'd been getting along pretty well recently.

Edward's anger seemed to evaporate slowly until I could only see guilt left over in his eyes. Quietly, more to himself than anyone, he whispered, "But I'm not much better."

Before I could ask him what he was talking about, exhaustion hit me and I drifted back into sleep with Edward's expression from upstairs flashing through my mind.


	24. A Call From Renee

**DISCLAIMER: Do you guys feel like practicing your mind reading skills? How about your future-seeing skills? Guess what I'm about to say… I. Do. Not. Own. Twilight. **

After what felt like only a few peaceful hours of sleep, Edward's gentle voice woke me up. But, he was speaking so quietly that I couldn't understand how I'd ever slept through a _shouting match_ between him and Rosalie. Then, after a few seconds, I realized that it wasn't Edward who had interrupted my slumber at all. Coming from the kitchen, I could hear the phone ringing.

"They're going to wake her up if they keep calling like this," I heard Rosalie mutter indignantly. I was about to attempt to block out the noise around me to get a few more hours of sleep in when I realized who 'they' were.

My eyes flew open and, to my surprise, I saw Seth talking to Edward. I smiled over at him and then hastily turned to Rose and said, "I'm already up." I didn't want to give whoever had picked up the phone a chance to hang up before they realized that I wasn't asleep anymore.

Ever since the success with the blood, I had been talking to Charlie almost daily. It had taken a large amount of begging on my part, but Edward had finally caved and let me talk to my parents. _Both _of them. Renee was checking on me frequently, too. At "The Center for Disease Control", of course.

"Oh, wait a second, I think that she might've just woken up," I heard Esme say into the phone. She stuck her head around the corner, beamed, and started walking over to me. Right before she handed me the phone, she said, "Here she is."

"Mom?"

"Hi, honey. How are you?" she greeted, each word oozing with concern. Charlie had gotten to her before any of the Cullens, or I for that matter, could. Charlie wasn't the type to sugar coat anything, and she had handled the news even worse than he had. Even though I was doing ten times better now than I had been before, I could tell that my mom was still terrified for me. I probably would be too if I was in her position.

"I'm great," I answered enthusiastically. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward clench his jaw and glower at my hurt rib. Self-consciously, I placed my free hand over it. That made Edward grind his teeth, in addition to the glowering and clenching. I made a mental note to ask him about that later.

"Good. Are the doctors treating you fine?" Renee asked…again. It almost felt like she had a little checklist of questions that she felt obligated to ask every time that she called, even though I gave her the same answers every time.

"Yes, Mom. They're great," I said slowly. Before she could ask me another question that would force me to lie, I asked, "How are you and Phil?"

"Well, we miss you. Like just last night, Phil was up to bat when it was tied at the very end of the game and he almost hit a home run! I know that sports aren't really your thing, but you should have seen it! You would have loved it if you were there." Great, even when I asked specifically about her, the subject found a way back around to me.

"So how has pottery been going?" I questioned flatly, not commenting on what she just said. Pottery was her newest hobby.

"It's alright. A little too much sitting around," she answered dismissively.

I laughed, and then said, "Mom, didn't you just quit cycling because there was too much movement?"

She chuckled too. "I guess I did. Oh well, there's bound to be _something_ that works for me. I heard about this mother/daughter yoga class that's starting up…" Renee trailed off wistfully.

I bit my lip, unable to come up with a response. Even if I did live through EJ, I wasn't ever going to see my mom again. There wasn't a mother/daughter yoga class anywhere in my future.

I opened my mouth and closed it again. I stuttered something out, but was distracted when I saw Edward staring at me intensely, probably taking in my pained expression.

He gave my hand a squeeze before standing up and saying, "I'm going to go make some food." I gazed at him quizzically. I had just eaten some normal food not too long ago. I could hardly be expected to be hungry again. Seeing my confusion, Edward explained, "For Seth."

I heard Seth's stomach growl loudly and I nodded. I watched Edward leave the room and my mom's voice reminded me that I had been silent for about a minute.

"Bella? Are you there?" I heard her say, sounding slightly panicky.

"Sorry, Mom," I apologized. I heard her sigh on the other end of the line.

"Did the doctor just give you some medicine, honey?" I smiled, thrilled that she had offered an excuse for me to use. I was about to respond that he had when Edward returned from the kitchen, holding a huge plate. It was above my head so I couldn't really see what was on it. Seth thanked him, loudly enough that my mom heard him.

"Who was that? I thought that you were quarantined," she said in what I imagined as an accusatory tone.

"I am," I stated immediately. "That was…more medicine for me." I yawned, and decided to use that to my advantage. "I'll probably fall asleep soon. The stuff that they're giving me makes me kind of out of it."

She got the hint. "Well you should probably get some rest, Bella," my mom said quietly, almost regretfully. I felt horrible as I heard the hurt in her voice. We'll add her to the list of the poor people that I'm tormenting.

"I love you, Mom," I said. I refrained from adding on that I was sorry because that would just lead to more lies from me and more anguish for her.

"I love you too, Sweetie. I'll talk to you soon, okay?" Was it just my imagination, or did her voice sound a little bit teary? Probably.

"Okay," I agreed quickly, in the only way that I knew how to console her. Maybe Edward was right. These conversations with my parents weren't helping anything. I was going to bring their hopes up, only to have them crushed later on. There wasn't really any possible happy ending for them, and I was leading them on to think that there was. I felt a few tears trickle down my face. "Bye," I whispered, my voice cracking a little bit.

"I love you," Renee said again. Then, all I could hear was the dial tone. I sniffed and I felt Edward give me a comforting hug. It didn't really do much to help.

"She heard me, didn't she?" Seth asked, looking horrified. When I didn't respond, he shook his head, like he was trying to clear it. "I'm really sorry. That's why you had to hang up so fast, huh?"

"It's not your fault. I would've hung up soon anyway," I lied. Truthfully, the phone calls left were numbered, so I tried to make every single one count. Seth didn't look relieved, so he probably heard the lie in my voice.

Rosalie was glowering over at Seth. _She _obviously wasn't feeling as forgiving, and he could see that, too. I was about to come to his defense when Edward stiffly said, "If it's such a waste, _you_ can eat the food then, Rosalie."

"Fine." She gave him a dark look. "But if the other wolf boy comes, he gets a dog biscuit."


	25. Life's Simple Blessings

**DISCLAIMER**: **-Shakes head in defeat- There are about 24 disclaimers already tacked on to this story. Do you think I'll get in trouble if I stop writing them? Only time will tell…**

* * *

_The Volturi were coming closer. Aro reached his hand out towards the little boy and there wasn't anything that I could do. I opened my mouth to yell something, anything, but nothing came out. I tried to move but my legs didn't work. I was frozen. I was helpless. I met the little boy's gaze, and a sick smile spread across Aro's face, just before his hand's clenched onto the little boy. And then…_

"_Don't_, Rosalie," Esme's voice snapped. I breathed a sigh of relief as the horrible dream was interrupted. This repetitive nightmare really didn't make a whole lot of sense, but even when I woke up and was brought back to reality, a dark undertone was left over. Words like, "Volturi", "Little Boy", and "Frozen" were always there, stirring threateningly in the back of my head.

I opened my eyes and turned to look at Rose. She was standing next to…Jacob, glowering down at him. I hadn't noticed it before, but by the looks of it, he had crashed before he even made it out of the house. Poor guy.

"I wasn't going to do anything," Rosalie argued indignantly. Looking sullen, she made her way back over to me. When she saw that I was looking at her, she said, "You're up." I just nodded.

I looked around to see Edward, Esme, Seth… and Alice. As soon as I saw her, I beamed and simply said, "Hi."

Alice returned my smile, though I could see that there was still some hopelessness in her eyes. "Hey, Bella," was all that she said. As I felt a sudden draft, I shivered. Edward moved to close the front door, but a grimace from Rosalie and Seth didn't escape my notice. It took me a minute, but I finally remembered that they hated the way the other person smelled.

I shook my head quickly and said, "Don't worry about it, Edward. I'm fine." I seemed to be saying that a lot lately. Edward hesitated at the door for a few seconds, but he finally shrugged and walked back towards me. I tried to push myself into a sitting position. I was still getting used to having a huge stomach.

"How did you sleep?" He asked, reaching out and taking my hand to help me sit up.

I frowned, but as coolly as I could, murmured, "I slept great." That was another one of my common, almost daily, lies. Every once in a while, Edward would see through it because I'd said something in my sleep that gave me away. Other times, I'd be so tired that the nightmares just wouldn't come at all, but that didn't happen very often. I guess that exhaustion was a blessing in disguise.

"You were talking…" Edward began slowly. I felt my face fall and I was about to apologize for lying when I was saved by Seth.

"You said something about a baseball," Seth said with a grin. A baseball? I was about to just nod dumbly when I realized what he was talking about. At the very beginning of my dream, I'd been playing catch with the little boy. I guess that today was my lucky day. I wasn't going to get caught lying after all. "That's all I really understood," Seth added. I smiled at him gratefully.

"Yeah, I dreamed that I was a pro-baseball player. If I can't have even the slightest hand-eye coordination in real life, at least I'm lucky enough to get to dream about it," I said with a little laugh. I almost believed it myself. I was definitely getting better at the whole lying thing. If I could fool a room full of non-humans with sharp senses, I could fool anyone.

I looked around, and it seemed like everyone was fooled. Well, almost everyone. Just not Edward, but that was to be expected. It had almost become my second nature to lie, so it was naturally his second nature to be suspicious about it. I had learned not to loose my cool when Edward was staring me down intently, searching my face for a lie.

Jake snorted in his sleep and Rosalie shot him a dark look. Edward took a look between Rose and Jacob and he chuckled under his breath, before standing up. "It's been a while since you ate. I've already got some food made, I just have to heat it up," He said before making his way into the kitchen. I heard the fridge door open, close, and then the microwave started. I kind of wished that I had my cup of blood.

Jacob's breathing became faster and he made a strange noise, like he was choking. Rosalie looked like she wanted to go and give him a good kick. Esme gave Seth and me a tiny smile, and shot Rosalie a warning look before standing up to go upstairs. Vaguely, I could hear Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle talking. She was probably going to join their conversation.

A few minutes later, Edward returned holding a plate similar to the one that he had earlier and handing it to Seth. As if he had read my mind, he was holding my cup of blood in his hand. He took a seat on my right and gave it to me with an understanding expression.

"Thanks," I said quietly. I was almost over the idea of drinking blood, but this was the first time that I'd done it in front of Seth. Would he be grossed out? Shocked? I didn't really know.

I took a sip from the cup, watching Seth's expression. He didn't seem bothered by it, and I realized that he would already have heard about my…strange diet from Jacob. I could only imagine how _Leah_ must have reacted. It was probably on her list of reasons to stay away from all of us. If Jacob hadn't told me that she had joined them in the first place, I would never have known. Rosalie had told me that Leah refused to come within a hundred feet of the house a few days ago.

As I felt another gust of wind from the doorway, I shivered again. I put my hand to my head. I could tell that I had a low fever, but I decided not to bother Edward with this piece of information.

This time it was Rosalie who unenthusiastically moved to close the door. I opened my mouth to protest, but closed it again as Seth stood up from where he had been sitting on the ground. Was he leaving? I thought that Seth and Jake were getting used to the vampire smell…

Instead of heading for the door like I expected, Seth made his way over to me and sat on my left. Rosalie stopped walking and she turned to watch him suspiciously. I could tell that Rose didn't trust any of the werewolves, and come to think of it, they probably didn't trust her either.

Cautiously, he raised his arm to drape it around my shoulder. I couldn't tell whose reaction he was most worried about. I shivered again and he didn't seem to need any more encouragement than that. He draped his arm loosely around my shoulder, and I instantly felt better.

"Problem solved," I said. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," He replied, before turning his attention to the food that was on his plate. He offered me a piece of toast, which I refused. I wasn't really in the mood for normal human food.

"Bella?" I heard a voice call from upstairs. It sounded like Carlisle.

"Yes?" I called back, thankful that I had my normal voice back. Before the blood, I would never have been able to make my voice carry all the way up the stairs, even if the person that I was talking to did happen to have super-hearing.

"Do you want me to take your IV out?" He called in return. I felt my eyes get wide. I only had one needle still stuck into my arm. For the first time in weeks, I would be needleless. It was another one of life's simple blessings that I used to take for granted.

"_Yes_!" I yelled, nearly bouncing up and down. Rosalie, Edward, Seth, and Alice all laughed. I think that I might have even heard some chuckling coming from upstairs.

"I'll be right down," Carlisle said. True to his word, he was by my side a few seconds later, with gauze (and a band aid) in his hand.

He told me to hold my arm still, and I closed my eyes in order to avoid seeing my blood as he took the IV out. I could handle _drinking_ someone else's blood, but it still grossed me out to see my own.

I felt a slight pressure on my arm where Carlisle was holding the gauze. A minute later, he replaced the gauze with a little band aid. There was picture of a seemingly normal little boy.

"The hospital got them this last Halloween. We had some extras," Carlisle explained. I took a closer look and I realized that it was a nice-looking version of Dracula. I laughed out loud.


	26. War Talk

**So here's a little story. Stephenie Meyer had this dream, right? And then she wrote Twilight and then it was published. And got a copyright. The end.**

**Notice that I'm not anywhere in that story. Guess that means I don't own Twilight, huh? ^_^**

* * *

Jake made a choking noise again in his sleep and he started to shift uneasily. His eyes fluttered a little bit and I heard him groan under his breath.

"About time. The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired," Rosalie muttered from where she was sitting on the floor. I tried not to roll my eyes. Jacob's snoring hadn't been _that_ bad. I probably wouldn't have noticed it at all if Rosalie hadn't already made a few snide comments about it before. But, then again, I didn't have supersonic hearing.

Jake groggily rolled over and sat up. He glanced around the room. When his gaze fell upon Rose, I saw his jaw clench, before he hastily moved on.

"Hey, Jake's coming around!" Seth exclaimed just as Jacob realized that he was there. At first, Jake's eyes widened in surprise, but then I saw them narrow as he took in Seth's arm around my shoulder.

As Jake started to stand up, Edward explained, "He came to find you, and Esme convinced him to stay for breakfast."

Jake's expression didn't really change, so Seth went on to add, "Yeah, Jake—I was just checking to see if you were okay 'cause you didn't ever phase back. Leah got worried. I told her you probably just crashed human, but you know how she is," he paused for a breath, before turning to Edward. "Anyway, they had all this food and, dang man, you can _cook_."

"Thank you," Edward said, the corners of his mouth twitching. I could feel a smile slowly spreading across my face, too. Seth's eyes had been _huge_ when he had taken in the amount of food on his plate earlier.

Jake's expression remained stony. I couldn't tell if he had even been listening to Edward or Seth. He was pretty preoccupied glowering at Seth's arm.

"Bella got cold," Edward murmured, having noticed the same thing that I did. Seth sat up a little straighter as he heard the comment and he seemed to notice Jake's scowl, too. Almost immediately, I felt his arm leave my shoulder as he busied himself with his food.

Jake unclenched his jaw a little bit, before asking, "Leah running patrol?"

With the way that everyone was talking, it sounded like we were in some sort of world war. Always in constant danger, always watching our backs. Had I really made the animosity between the pack and us that deep? Was it to the point that Jake, Seth, and Leah would never be able to go back?

"Yeah, she's on it," Seth answered. "No worries. She'll howl if there's anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran twelve hours."

I hated how lightly Seth said that. He had been forced to run _twelve hours_ for my sake. That was pretty selfless, considering that the current situation that we were all in was entirely my fault.

"Midnight?" Jake repeated. His brow furrowed and he said, "What a minute—what time is it now?"

"'Bout dawn," Seth replied.

Jacob's face fell and he apologized, "Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake." I grimaced as he said that. _Rosalie_ had actually walked over next to him to kick him awake multiple times. Every time, she'd been caught by one of us before she had the chance, though.

"Naw, man, you needed some serious sleep. You haven't taken a break since when? Night before your last patrol for Sam? Like forty hours? Fifty? You're not a machine, Jake. 'Sides, you didn't miss anything at all," Seth said.

I felt my stomach drop slightly as a new wave of guilt washed over me. Fifty hours. I'd made Jake stay working for _fifty hours_. Some best friend I was.

Almost like he had been able to hear what I'd been thinking, Jacob turned to look at me. Knowing that my face was as easy to read as an open book, I tried to hide my thoughts with a grin. He didn't return it.

"How's the rib?" he asked.

I shrugged, before answering, "Taped up nice and tight. I don't even feel it." Maybe I had the occasional throb when I moved too quickly, but it really wasn't bad. Nothing I couldn't handle.

I saw Jake roll his eyes, not satisfied with my answer. I was about to insist that I really _didn't_ feel it when he said, "What's for breakfast? O negative or AB positive?"

"Omelets," I answered, sticking out my tongue. Flushing, I glanced down at my cup of blood that was between my leg and Edward's, hoping that he wouldn't make a comment on it.

Before Jacob had the chance to say anything, Seth suggested, "Go get some breakfast, Jake. There's a bunch in the kitchen. You've got to be empty."

I cringed internally at his words again. I'd never even considered how long it had been since Jake had eaten last.

Jake glanced down at the food that was left on Seth's plate before asking, "What's Leah having for breakfast?" Maybe I was imagining it, but I thought I could hear a little bit of an accusation in his voice.

"Hey, I took food to her before I ate anything," Seth defended hastily. "She said she'd rather eat road kill, but I bet she caves. This cinnamon rolls…" He trailed off, unable to come up with a good enough adjective to use.

"I'll go hunt with her, then," Jake muttered, almost coldly. That wasn't all that hard to translate. He picked the road kill, too. The future friendship between Jake and the Cullens wasn't looking too promising.

As Jacob turned to leave, Carlisle quickly said, "A moment Jacob?"

Slowly Jake turned around and asked, "Yeah?"

Quietly, Carlisle said, "Speaking of hunting, that's going to be an issue for my family. I understand that our previous truce is inoperative at the moment, so I wanted your advice. Will Sam be hunting for us outside of the perimeter you've created? We don't want to take a chance with hurting any of your family, or losing any of ours. If you were in our shoes, how would you proceed?"

Jacob looked taken aback at being put on the spot like that. Or maybe it was being asked for advice from a vampire. Still a little bit stunned, Jake replied that it was a risk. "Sam's calmed down some, but I'm pretty sure that in his head, the treaty is void. As long as he thinks the tribe, or any other human, is in real danger, he's not going to ask questions first, if you know what I mean."

I swallowed hard as he continued on. It was weird hearing my best friend talking "war" like that. It was a bit unnerving.

"But, with all that, his priority is going to be La Push. There really aren't enough of them to keep a decent watch on the people while putting out hunting parties big enough to do much damage. I'd bet he's keeping close to home." Carlisle nodded, and Jacob finished, "So I guess I'd say, go out together, just in case. And probably you should go in the day, 'cause we'd be expecting night. Traditional vampire stuff. You're fast—go over the mountains and hunt far enough away that there's no chance he's send anyone that far from home."

"And leave Bella behind, unprotected?" Carlisle asked, glancing over at me, and then back at Jake. I frowned. Once again, I was the vulnerable one, helpless without someone stronger around to help.

"What are we, chopped liver?" Jake asked with a snort.

Carlisle laughed for a minute before sliding back into serious mode. "Jacob, you can't fight against your brothers."

I felt my eyes widen as I realized what Carlisle was saying….and what Jake was suggesting. He was planning on fighting again his best friends, if the need arose. Maybe even _killing_ them. I shook my head slightly in horror.

"I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard," –That had to be the understatement of the century—"But if they were coming to kill her—I would be able to stop them," Jake said shortly.

"No I didn't mean that you would be…incapable. But that it would be wrong. I can't have that on my conscience," Carlisle explained. I breathed a sigh of relief. I most definitely couldn't have that on _my_ conscience, either.

"It wouldn't be on yours, Doc. It would be on mine. And I can take it," Jacob said in a forced aloof voice. I wanted to scream at him that he shouldn't _have _to take it. He shouldn't be going through any of this. Especially for the sake of the world's worst best friend. I didn't deserve it.

"No Jacob. We will make sure that our actions don't make that a necessity. We'll go three at a time. That's probably the best we can do," Carlisle said finally.

"I don't know, Doc. Dividing down the middle isn't the best strategy," Jake reasoned slowly.

"We've got some extra abilities that will even it up. If Edward is one of the three, he'll be able to give us a few miles' radius of safety," Carlisle said. I felt Edward's hand tighten around mine.

Jacob and Carlisle both glanced at Edward, and Carlisle immediately changed his mind. "I'm sure there are other ways, too." He turned to address Alice. "Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a mistake?"

She nodded before replying, "The ones that disappear. Easy."

I gazed at Alice, not particularly fond of her word choice. _Easy_. Nothing was easy anymore. Especially not braving pissed off werewolves.

"Okay, then. That's settled. I'll just be on my way. Seth, I'll expect you back on at dusk, so get a nap in there somewhere, all right?" Jake asked, already backing up towards the door.

"Sure, Jake. I'll phase back soon as I'm done. Unless…" Seth began, cautiously turning towards me. "Do you need me?"

"She's got blankets," Jacob barked, his eyes narrowing again.

Before he could say anything else, or anything could get too awkward, I answered, "I'm fine, Seth, thanks."

Just then, Esme walked back into the room holding a large covered plate of food. She offered it to Jake. He had this weird expression on his face, like he was confused and unsettled at the same time. Silently, I prayed that he would take it. Couldn't he see just how hard they were all trying to get along, considering the circumstance? Alice with the pillow, Edward with the food, and now Esme with the little peace offering?

"Uh, sure, sure. I guess. Maybe Leah's still hungry or something," Jake said, slowly taking the food, looking like he wanted nothing more than to just take off and run as far away as possible.

Esme smiled. "Thank you, Jacob." That just seemed to fluster Jake more.

"Um, thank you," Jake murmured awkwardly. I could see that he was blushing. He obviously wasn't used to having civil conversations with vampires. Maybe, once he actually spent some time with the Cullens, he could realize why I didn't hate them like he thought I should. I could see him getting along pretty well with Emmett once they got to know each other.

"Will you come back later, Jake?" I asked as he started inching for the door again.

Without stopping, he answered, "Uh, I dunno."

It was kind of funny just how terrified he was of this place. Not terrified as in scared, but terrified as in…uncomfortable. I could see that he had absolutely no idea how to act.

"Please? I might get cold," I badgered, forcing back a grin.

"Maybe…" he replied. I grinned in victory. In my book, 'maybe' was good enough. At least it wasn't a flat-out 'no'.

"Jacob?" Esme began timidly. Jake started backing up even more quickly, as she started to follow him. "I left a basket of clothes on the porch. They're for Leah. They're freshly washed—I tried to touch them as little as possible. Do you mind taking them to her?"

"On it," ge responded, taking the clothes and bolting out the door.

We all stared at the place before Edward chuckled quietly and murmured, "Maybe we should lay off the hospitality a little bit…"


	27. Normal Human Babies

"Bye, Dad. I'll talk to you soon, okay?" I said quickly, getting ready to hang up the phone. EJ was starting to kick. It was unfortunate that it had to happen while I was on the phone with Charlie, but there wasn't anything that I could about it. My whole plan of action was to just deal with it. It wasn't EJ's fault he didn't have enough room.

"Okay," Charlie answered, before hesitating for a minute. He cleared his throat, searching for words. I could imagine the little frown on his face as he tried to figure out exactly how to phrase something.

As EJ kicked harder, I grunted out, "Dad, what is it? I've kind of got to get off the phone…"

"Are you still… Have the doctors given you the 'OK' on visitors yet?" His words were rushed, as though he'd wanted to ask for a long time.

I felt my stomach drop. I could tell that he had attempted to disguise his hope, but it was still there. He was missing me just as much as I was missing him. But, I still had the Cullens for family. Without me, Charlie had to be getting pretty lonely.

Charlie must have taken my silence as a 'no', because he hastily continued on, "Bells, you're getting better, aren't you?" I opened my mouth, but I didn't have anything to say. Should I tell him that I'd lied, that I wasn'tgetting better? Or should I just make up a new reason that he couldn't see me? I was reallygetting sick of all of this lying and deception. Especially since Charlie and Renee hadn't done anything to deserve it. As I contemplated, he added, "You _sound_ better."

Before I had the time to make a decision, I heard Seth issue a loud snore from where he was sleeping on the floor. After getting his fill of food, he had dozed off hours ago and was now lying in almost exactly the same place that Jake had been when _he _had fallen asleep.

"What was that?" Charlie asked as I gritted my teeth to keep from making a noise as EJ moved around. He was getting restless.

"...Nothing," I answered, wincing, aware that Edward and Alice were watching me, looking panicked. Rosalie was just grimacing right along with me as she took in my pained expression.

I started to adjust my position a little bit when I felt a familiar sensation in a rib on my right side; like a heavy weight had been dropped down on it… like it had been cracked.

I closed my eyes, beginning to take a deep breath. It didn't take long for me to realize what a stupid move that was. Through gasps, I choked out, "Dad….I really need…to go. Talk to…you soon."

Edward reached out and turned off the phone before I had a chance to hear Charlie's response.

The way that I was sitting was putting pressure on my rib, so I struggled to sit up. I involuntarily yelped as Rosalie put her arm around my shoulders and began to help me. It didn't matter which way I sat, my rib would hurt either way.

At my cry, Seth started in his sleep and sat up quickly. He looked around, bewildered, until his eyes rested on me. "Bella!" He exclaimed, jumping up and starting to walk towards me. He hesitated for a minute before frowning and backing up to get out of the way.

I looked towards the door as Alice, followed by Carlisle and Esme, made her way over to me. I hadn't even realized that she had left the room in the first place. Behind the three of them, watching the scene somberly from the doorway, were Emmett and Jasper.

"It is another rib, Bella?" Carlisle asked, probably already knowing the answer. I confirmed that with a nod, and he bent over me, holding a roll of medical tape in his hand.

"It's…this one," I muttered, pointing gingerly to my throbbing side. Edward took my hand, and I saw that his other hand was tightly clenched into a fist around the phone. It was shaking.

"Hold still," Carlisle murmured as I sat up as well as I could so that he could tape me up. As soon as he was done, I started to feel some relief. Not a whole lot, but enough. At least I could talk without panting now.

"Thanks," I whispered, looking down at my huge belly. This was a small price to pay for something so important. Someone that I loved so much.

"Did it puncture anything?" Alice asked, her voice quavering slightly. Besides Edward, the casualties of the pregnancy had hit her the hardest. Jasper stepped forward and put his hand around her waist.

Carlisle shook his head and said, "Just another crack." I didn't know if I would necessarily say it was _just _another crack. Sure, it wasn't as bad as actually puncturing something, but still…it wasn't fun.

"You know," Rosalie began easily, "Even human babies _have _been known to break ribs." As we all stared at her silently, her face slid into a frown. "What?"

Rose's words just hung in the air for a minute before I felt Edward's hand let go of mine and I heard a loud snapping noise. I turned to look for the source when I saw the phone, broken into tiny bits, lying on the floor next to Edward. His whole body was trembling with rage as he was bared his teeth at Rosalie.

Horrified, I grasped onto his arm, just as Emmett stepped forward. Cautiously, he put his hands up in surrender as Edward turned to glower over at him. "She didn't mean anything by it, Edward," He reasoned in a surprisingly soft voice.

"And she's right, too. It's not that big of a deal. My rib really isn't bad. Heck, I can hardly even tell that there's anything wrong with it," I added, stretching the truth to breaking point. The pain had, in no way, shape, or form, disappeared.

Edward relaxed slightly, but he continued to stare Rose down pointedly. I held my breath, waiting for him to lunge for her, or start yelling, or something.

"Crap! What time is it?" Seth asked abruptly, causing me to jump and bring the stabs in my side back. We were all in a bit of a daze at how close Edward had come to throttling Rosalie, so none of us answered. I just blinked. Seth glanced towards the window, and then said, "Jake wanted me at dusk. _Crap_! I better get going…" He started towards the door before pausing and turning back to face me. "Are you going to be okay?"

I gave him a weak smile. "Of course," I replied.

"Alright, then I've gotta go." He said, turning to leave.

Before he coulld, I hastily asked, "Seth, could you maybe see if Jake would stop by?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I will. He probably needs a break anyway if he's been on duty since he left here," He said. With a final wave he bolted out the door, calling behind him, "And thanks for the food!"


	28. Tears

As soon as I opened the door to leave the bathroom, Rosalie picked me up. When the Cullens had first started carrying me around almost everywhere, I'd tried to politely refuse because it was so awkward, but now…I just didn't care. My first attempt to make it all the way to the bathroom without any help had taught me not to. If Edward and Rosalie hadn't both been standing at my side, I would have toppled over, probably more than once.

Rose started walking and I felt a cry of pain rise up in my throat. I could tell that she was really working hard to not jostle EJ, but it wasn't doing any good. I closed my eyes as she took another cautious step. I wished that I had my cup of blood; it was kind of like my security blanket. Generally, it calmed EJ down enough that he would temporarily stop kicking or moving around.

"Rose?" I began, hearing my own quiet desperation in my voice. Should I tell her that I wanted her to stop walking? No, Edward might hear me. I could just imagine the two of them deciding to haul the couch all the way down the hall so that it was right next to the bathroom so that I never had to move more than five feet.

Actually…that wouldn't be all bad. A lack of movement was a good thing as far as I was concerned.

I felt Rosalie stop walking and I opened my eyes to see that she was looking down at me, as if she'd been reading my mind. Her face scrunched up, anxiety clear in eyes.

"Is something wrong? Am I hurting the baby?"she asked, holding perfectly still, like any sudden movement would kill both me _and _EJ.

I realized that I could think much more clearly when all my energy wasn't going into clenching my jaw to keep quiet. Now, it just seemed stupid to tell Rosalie that I couldn't be carried all the way to the couch because it hurt too badly. It was kind of pathetic.

I said the first thing that came to mind."No, everything's okay. But I…I wanted to talk to you about earlier."

"Earlier?" she repeated, her look of panic replaced by one of confusion.

"Um, yeah. I just…well…I'm talking about when I broke that rib." I winced at the thought, but continued on, "Edward's going through enough right now and he doesn't need to hear about 'normal human babies', Rose. He almost knocked your head off." I had actually been meaning to mention this and now was as good of a time as any. Esme was still back in the other room with Edward so there was a chance that he wasn't listening in on our conversation.

Rosalie snorted, looking like she was resisting rolling her eyes. "He wouldn't have done anything, Bella. He didn't do anything on the day when you guys got here, and he's not going to do anything now. And Emmett wouldn't let him anyway."

I didn't know about that. If you made him mad enough, Edward could be one heck of a fighter. The battle with Victoria was Exhibit A.

"Look, Rose, that wasn't really the point. I meant that it'd be good if you were a little bit more careful. I don't want him hurting any more than he is already," I said, feeling the corners of my eyes starting to burn. Rosalie opened her mouth defensively, so I hastily added, "Or anything happening to you either. Or anyone, I guess."

"Fine," she agreed shortly, starting to walk again.

"This house has already got enough drama," I managed to gasp out before grinding my teeth to bite back a yelp. Closing my eyes, I counted the steps that Rosalie took, knowing exactly how many more it would be before we finally reached the couch.

"Oh, wonderful. I knew I smelled something nasty," Rosalie muttered. I opened my eyes to see what she was talking about and I registered that someone was standing in the living room that wasn't there before I went to the bathroom. _Jake_.

I resisted the urge to squeal like a little kid as I felt a full-blown grin spread across my face. It hadn't been all that long since I'd seen him, but there was this warmth that I could feel coursing through me whenever he was around. Even with Edward, I didn't feel like that. It wasn't _love_ love, like what Edward and I had and it wasn't brother/sister love, either. It was…miscellaneous love.

"Jacob, you came," I stated the obvious. I probably shouldn't have been as happy as I was that he chose to drop by. It was pretty clear how much each encounter with me hurt him. Each time he came to visit, his expression seemed a little bit darker. A little bit more desperate.

"Hi, Bells," Jake responded as Edward and Esme both stood up from where they were sitting on the couch to make room for me. This was one of the moments that I dreaded. No matter how slowly and carefully they put me back down on the couch; EJ was always jarred, not to mention that it didn't do much for my broken ribs.

Just like with all the previous times, pain shot through my belly and up my back as soon as they put me down.

Edward took his hand and ran it consolingly along my face and neck, pushing my hair back. "Are you cold?"

"I'm fine," I answered, faster than a natural response would be.

"Bella, you know what Carlisle told you. Don't downplay _anything_. It doesn't help us take care of either of you," Rose said, gazing at me skeptically.

"Okay, I'm a little cold," I said, more to appease her than anything. "Edward, can you hand me that blanket?"

"Isn't that sort of the point of me being here?" Jake cut in before Edward had the chance to move.

I wanted to tell him that the reason that I wanted him around was because I needed him as a friend, not a heater, but I let it go. Instead, I said, "You just walked in after running all day, I'd bet. Put your feet up for a minute. I'll probably warm up again in no time."

Before all the words were even out of my mouth, Jake was moving towards me, completely ignoring what I'd said. I tried to stay annoyed at him, but my irritation lasted for about two seconds. By the time that he was sitting on the floor next to the couch, cautiously leaning against my side and holding my hand, I was over it.

"Thanks, Jake."

"Yeah."

We sat silently for a minute and then Alice, who I hadn't even seen in the room until now, asked Rose to grab Jacob some food. There was a slight debate, but eventually she gave in.

A few seconds later, she returned with a bowl shaped like a dog dish with _Fido_ scratched into it. Nice.

Jacob didn't seem disheartened at all because, following yet another blonde joke; he dug into the food, practically inhaling it.

When he was finished, I absently ran my hand through his hair. It was _long_. "Time for a haircut, huh?" he asked.

"You're getting a little shaggy. Maybe—"

"Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris?" he interrupted.

I laughed at the images that that brought up. I could see Alice doing something like that, but that didn't fit any of the others. I giggled again at the thought of Emmett working at a beauty salon. Or any place at all with the word 'beauty' in the title.

"Probably."

"No thanks. I'm good for a few more weeks." His joking expression abruptly slid away. His brow furrowed for a minute before he finally said, "So….um…when's the, er, date? You know, the due date for the little monster." I whacked the back of his head. It actually hurt my hand a little bit. When I didn't say anything, he added, "I'm serious. I want to know how long I'm gonna have to be here."

Why was he asking? Was he really that desperate to get out of here? Away from the worst best friend in the history friends? I doubted that he was just asking because he was curious about EJ. Jake didn't seem to give a crap about him.

"I don't know. Not exactly. Obviously, we're not going with the nine-month model here, and we can't get an ultrasound, so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am. Normal people are supposed to be about forty centimeters here" –I pointed to the middle of my belly-"when the baby is fully grown. One centimeter for every week. I was thirty this morning, and I've been gaining about two centimeters a day, sometimes more…." I rambled, feeling like an idiot. Jake had probably wanted a three word answer or so. Not a whole lecture.

Jacob was silent for a long time so I turned to look at him. He looked like he was about to hurl and was trying to solve a difficult math problem at the same time.

"You okay?" I asked. In response, he just nodded, looking stunned. Did I say something _really _stupid just now? He looked like he was going into shock. And then I saw just a few tears slip out. He didn't even seem to realize that they were there.

"It's going to be okay," I whispered, wiping them away. Had I ever seen Jake cry? Of course, from the beginning of this, I had known that I was hurting Jacob. But, now, seeing first hand what _I _had done to him…

My best friend was breaking apart before my eyes. Because of my choices. My mistakes. My selfishness. Because of me.


	29. Bruising

**Thanks again to everyone! **

**DISCLAIMER: And I don't own Twilight. **

I took another long sip through the straw until I heard the sucking noise that told me that my cup was empty. Not even five seconds later, Rosalie was reaching for it.

"I'll go grab some more. We've got some blood sitting upstairs and Carlisle told me he's already ordered more. We'll get it in a few days." Rosalie was in good spirits, clearly because Jake wasn't anywhere near her. Once she'd told me that 'a Jacob-less day was a good day' as far as she was concerned.

"Thanks, Rose, but—" I began, planning on telling her that I wouldn't need anymore blood for at least fifteen minutes or so. A huge grin spread across her face as she interrupted me.

"Bella, do you realize that by the time the rest of the blood gets here, we might be feeding the baby directly?" she said suddenly, looking more excited than I'd seen her in a while. Rosalie looked like she was tempted to grab me by the arms so that we could hop around in circles, squealing.

And then I actually comprehended what she'd said. A few days. EJ was going to be here in just a few days! I'd explained the time frame to Jake without realizing what it meant myself. Everything was going to be fixed, sooner than I'd realized. I wouldn't even have to wait a whole week to see the happy version of Edward return.

As Rose started to stroll out of the room, Edward flatly stated, "She doesn't need more blood, Rosalie."

"Yes she does," she returned, continuing out the door.

"_No_ she doesn't. Leave her alone." The sharp note in his voice told me that Edward was losing his patience quickly. He'd been in a fairly good mood, up until a few seconds ago.

"Yeah, Rose, I'm okay. I don't need any more yet," I said, before she had the chance to get ticked off too.

"The baby's still growing though, Bella. Maybe _he _needs it." Rosalie stuck her head back through the doorway to look at me. I just shrugged at Edward. A little extra blood wouldn't kill me.

EJ started kicking, probably a direct result of the blood. One strong kick from EJ was all it took. And then there was agony.

A loud gasp issued from my mouth before I could even think about stifling it and Rosalie was back at my side in an instant. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, and Carlisle and Esme appeared in the doorway seconds later.

"Where does it hurt?" Carlisle asked, stepping closer.

Panting, I managed to say, "It's…there." I pointed to the place where it was throbbing.

"Your pelvis?" Carlisle suggested. I nodded.

Picking me up as carefully as he could, Edward murmured, "I heard it crack." I bit my lip as he made his way towards the doorway. We were headed upstairs to the x-ray machine. Again. How many more trips would I make up the stairs before I had EJ? I could only hope that this would be the last. Probably wouldn't be, but still, I'd live.

"I didn't hear anything," Rosalie said, keeping pace with us. "It didn't crack."

Thankfully, Edward chose not to respond. He didn't even acknowledge that she was there.

A painful trip up the stairs and a walk down the hallway later, Edward gently put me down on the table and helped me put on the lead jacket that Carlisle handed to me. I closed my eyes, as the machine took the x-rays and Edward rubbed unintentionally frantic circles on the back of my hand. When I heard the machine stop I opened my eyes to look at the computer screen. Carlisle pointed to a darker area on the picture and explained, "There's some bruising, but I don't think it actually _cracked_."

"You're sure?" Edward persisted, not tearing his eyes away from the screen.

"Well, with the bruises it's hard to tell. For now, I'd that that's all," he confirmed.

"See, I _told_ you I didn't hear a crack. You need your ears checked, Edward," Rose cut in, rolling her eyes.

"Rosalie…" Esme warned quietly, giving Edward's shoulder a gentle rub as he turned away from the x-ray to look at Rosalie, clenching his fist. Was Rose _trying_ to push him off the edge? How much longer would Edward put up with this? How much longer could I expect him to? I'd _just_ mentioned this to her, less than twenty-four hours ago. I couldn't tell if this was intentional or if she was just getting restless waiting for EJ. Either way, it really needed to stop. Soon.

"Can I have that?" I requested the first thing that came to mind, indicating the cup Rosalie was holding in her hand. I knew that it didn't make a lot of sense to ask for it, but if it broke the tension, it worked.

"It's still empty," Rosalie said slowly, handing it to me anyway. I shrugged again, aware that Edward wasn't glaring at Rosalie anymore.

"Time to get back to the couch?" I suggested with a weak smile. Edward picked me up wordlessly and I clutched my cup to avoid making a sound. He carried me down the hallway and stairs. With each step he took, I needed to remind myself that that was one step closer to the couch. Another step down. The pain would go away soon enough.

Finally, we did make it and I saw that Jake was standing next to Alice, taking in the scene in front of him. He obviously didn't like what he saw and he still looked just as tired as he had before I'd fallen asleep earlier.

"Jake," I breathed, letting a wider smile than before spread across my face. Edward put my down as gently as possible and silently sat on the floor near my head.

I watched as Jake informed Carlisle that they could go hunting without having to worry about the pack. Carlisle made a comment about Rose leaving to go hunt, which she didn't take very well. Apparently, she didn't have any plans to leave my side until Edward did, too, which wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Soon, Jasper, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, and Alice were out the door, leaving Jake, Rose, Edward, and I behind. Jake walked over and plopped down into the armchair next to Rose's, shoving his foot in her face. I could see how irritated Rosalie was getting, but I didn't have the heart to say anything, especially after everything that he was sacrificing for me.

"Ew. Someone put the dog out," she snorted, looking like she was about to smack his foot away.

Jake retorted with another blonde joke, that, for once, Rose didn't know the punch line to. Jake looked like she'd just made his day. Well, whatever made him happy.

We all fell silent, and I realized that I still had my empty cup in my hand. "Hey, Rose? Could I get a refill, please?" Maybe that'd improve her mood. Get her mind off of Jacob and back on EJ for a bit. Rosalie responded immediately, hurrying up the stairs.

After a few more seconds of silence, Edward abruptly turned to me and asked, "Did you say something?"


	30. Just Love

**DISCLAIMER: _ _ o _'t _w_ T_ _ li_ _ t. Anybody up for an intense game of hang-man? :P**

I stared at Edward for a second as he looked back at me, wondering who the heck he was talking to. He was clearly waiting for some sort of answer, and I seemed to be the one that he was waiting for.

"Me? I didn't say anything."

He took that in for a minute, before suddenly leaning over me. He had a concentrated look on his face, almost thoughtful. His eyes were wide as he scrutinized me. "What are you thinking about right now?" he asked seriously.

I blinked a few times. Slowly, I answered, "Nothing. What's going on?"

"What were you thinking about just a minute ago?" he pressed.

"Just…" I hesitated for a second, aware the Jake was standing just a few feet away. He wouldn't understand what I was talking about anyway, so, feeling my face flushing, I continued, "Esme's island. And feathers."

Edward didn't seem to notice that I was blushing, which was good. Well, actually, he didn't even acknowledge that I'd said anything at all. His face was scrunched up, like it had been when he had been listening to Jake's conversation with the pack a few days earlier.

I heard him mumble something that sounded like, "Say something else."

"Like what?" I asked, feeling like I was being left out on some big secret. I glanced over at Jake to see if he knew any more than I did, but I could see that he looked just as lost as I felt. "Edward, what's going on?"

Suddenly, the tension slid off of his face, replaced by a look of surprise. I was just about to repeat myself when Edward, carefully, possibly… _lovingly_, put his hands against my belly. I faintly heard a gasp behind me, but I couldn't look away from Edward's face as I realized something. He wasn't burning anymore.

"The f—" Edward began in the faintest voice I'd heard him use in a long time. He swallowed before saying, "It…the baby likes the sound of your voice."

For a short second, the only thing that I really heard was '_the baby_'. Edward had never called EJ a 'baby' before, just a fetus or a thing. Not the most fatherly names out there.

And then I took in the rest of what he'd said. Without thinking, I exclaimed, "HOLY CROW, YOU CAN HEAR HIM!" Promptly following my little outburst, EJ gave me a sharp kick to a place near the top of my stomach.

Edward moved his hand to the spot where it was throbbing and he quietly shushed me.

"You startled it…him," he explained.

I'd thought that I might have felt EJ jolt a little bit when I had started shouting. "Sorry, baby," I apologized. I noticed that 'baby' sounded a lot better when Edward said it. My voice was still a little bit rough.

Edward fell silent again, tilting his head towards my belly, intently listening. "What's he thinking now?" I implored, eyeing him and fighting back a grin.

"It…he or she, is…" He looked up to meet my gaze. "He's _happy_."

Happy. EJ was happy. He was happy, _I _was giddy…and Edward was happy, too. Anyone could see the way his eyes were shining. This was the type of moment that I'd been waiting for. The moment when we're all on the same page, all just…_connected_. United as a family. At this thought, I could feel tears slipping down my cheeks.

"Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are. How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy," I murmured, savoring a moment without yelling, pain, guilt, or terror. Just love.

"What did you call him?" Edward asked, glancing down at my stomach.

I felt my face get hot as I answered. "I sort of named him. I didn't think that you would want…" I paused for a minute, not wanting to kill the blissful moment. "Well, you know."

"EJ?" he repeated.

"You father's name was Edward, too," I stated.

"Yes, it was. What—?" He broke off. "Hmm."

"What?" I asked immediately, impatiently waiting to hear EJ's current thoughts.

"He likes my voice, too."

"Of course he does. You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?" I said, agreeing whole-heartedly with EJ.

There was silence for a second before Rosalie's voice startled me out of the little world I was living. The one that only included the two most important people in the world and me.

"Do you have a backup plan? What if he's a she?" she asked, leaning over the back of the couch.

I wiped my eyes, sniffing, and then said, "I kicked a few things around. Playing with Renee and Esme. I was thinking…Renesmee."

"Ruhnezmay?" Rosalie asked thoughtfully.

"R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e," I spelled out. "Too weird?"

"No, I like it. It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so _that_ fits," Rose replied.

"I still think he's an Edward," I said, picturing his angelic face in my mind for the hundredth time. I looked back at Edward, seeing that he wasn't listening to our conversation, but to EJ. "What? What's he thinking now?"

He didn't answer right away, probably still listening to the baby. After a few more seconds, I saw his eyes widen a little bit as he leaned all the way over, pressing his ear up against my stomach. I issued a gasp, hearing Rose and Jake do the same, but Edward still remained silent. Eventually, he murmured, "He loves you. He absolutely _adores_ you."

_Me, too,_ I mentally told EJ. _I love you, too._ _More than you can imagine._

I grinned at Edward, part of me wanting to jump into a conversation about the plans for the future. I'd been itching to talk to Edward about what was going to happen after EJ was born, but there had never seemed to be the right time to discuss things like most normal parents-to-be would. Until now.

But, the more dominant part of me just wanted to sit back and enjoy the feeling.

Out of the corner of my eye, I was suddenly aware that Jacob was standing up, his fists clenched and shaking. He was glowering over at Edward and I noticed that there was something different about his face. It looked like the fire that had recently been occupying Edward's eyes had transferred over to Jake. He was the top pain-carrier now.

Edward made a noise between a sigh and…something else. In the next second, he was standing up and throwing something to Jake.

"Go, Jacob. Get out of here," he said quietly.

Jake looked down at whatever Edward had thrown into his hands, a dead look now accompanying the burning. And then, before I had the chance to say a word, he bolted out of the room and towards the garage.

"Wh…?" I trailed off, staring at the place where he had disappeared. A second later, I heard the door slam hard and the garage door start to open. "Edward?" I asked.

He looked at me. "Bella…" He hesitated, carefully choosing his words. "This just… isn't a good place for him to be right now."

I just nodded dumbly. It was amazing how quickly reality could come crashing back down on you.


	31. Leah

**DISCLAIMER: **

**Me: Well, I don't own Twilight. I **_**do**_** own a lovely little whiteboard though.**

**Random person: What does that have to do with anything?**

**Me: Hush up, you.**

* * *

Something was missing. I'd come to that realization as I had listened to the garage door shut behind Jake. I hadn't been joking when I'd told him that everything felt complete when he was around. There was an undeniable emptiness that I felt when he wasn't.

I absently chewed on my lip, not tearing my eyes away from the door out to the garage. As soon as Jake stepped back inside, I was going to metaphorically pounce on him. I wasn't just going to let him push away my concerns about him like they didn't matter anymore. I just wished that I'd talked to him sooner.

Though there were a number of questions circling through my head that I could easily ask Edward, I didn't. The three of us had been sitting wordlessly for what had to have been five or so minutes, and somehow it felt wrong to break that silence.

"Are you alright?" Edward finally asked. Breaking my daze, I turned to look at him. His eyes were glued to my face.

"Of course," I answered slowly, wondering why he would ask about _me_. I wasn't the one who had just darted out of the living room and hit the road without a word of explanation. But then again, Edward wouldn't have needed to ask about Jake anyway. He would've already _known_ what was going on. "What happened? Why did Jake just..." I broke off, watching Edward sit up straight and turn his head towards the front door. I looked at the same place that he was staring at, but didn't see a thing. "What?"

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and I turned to see that Rosalie was suspiciously watching the door, too, mumbling something and looking irritated. My attention snapped back to Edward as he sprung up from the couch abruptly.

"I'll be right back, Bella," he said, throwing the door open and stepping outside. Through a window cracked open slightly, I saw him stop on the steps of the porch, looking at something.

"What's going on?" I asked Rosalie, now alternating between watching the garage and the front door.

She didn't answer me, but instead bitterly muttered to herself, "Since when has my home become a dog house? It just _draws _them in." I blinked a few times, taking that in. A dog house?

I was about to repeat my question from earlier when I heard Edward's voice wafting in through the window. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully, almost pleading with whoever was out there talking to him.

In a voice so low that I could only catch bits of what he was saying, I heard, "Jacob…a little while." There was a pause, and then, "Couldn't…room…pain for…" A few more seconds of silence, and then he said, "…the baby…wrong before."

"What's he saying? I can't really hear him," I said, during another few seconds of silence outside.

"He's explaining the wolf's disappearing act," she answered briefly as I heard Edward's voice rise a little bit. I tuned back into him, but too late to hear what he'd said.

"To _who?_" I asked, finally giving up on my sucky hearing.

"The wolf girl."

"Leah?" I gasped. "He's talking to _Leah_?" As far as I knew, she hadn't come within a few miles of the house since she'd left the pack. I added, "_Here_?"

"Mmhm. And it sounds like she's not too happy with us right now," Rosalie responded, almost sounding smug. She was probably glad that, if there had to be another werewolf hanging around the house, at least it was one that she could get riled up. I was almost positive that she and Jake purposefully drove each other up a wall, just for something to do. Once, she'd even tried to get into it with Seth, but he had never really been the type to fight unless something really upset him.

A few seconds later, the door swung open and Edward quickly walked inside and returned to my side.

"What was that about? What did she want?" I asked, glancing out the window. No Leah.

Edward sighed under his breath. "She wanted to see why Jacob left so quickly. She and Seth saw him driving away."

"Why _did_ he leave so quickly?" I pressed, returning to the subject from earlier. Instead of answering me, Edward just looked at me, almost calculatingly. "Edward…" I trailed off flatly.

"Bella, I don't think that—" He broke off suddenly. He froze for a minute before shaking his head and standing up. I think that I might have heard him indignantly mutter, "_Really_."

He hurried over to the door and yet again threw it open. This time, I actually saw someone else standing on the porch, holding her hand out like she was getting ready to open the door. Leah had returned, and she looked like she was ready to kick someone. She stared at him silently for a few seconds, before sharply asking, "Well, can I come in?"

Edward hesitated, but I knew that his manners wouldn't let him refuse to allow someone into his house. Well, unless that someone was Mike Newton. Then he probably couldn't care less.

Slowly, he nodded, pulling the door open for Leah. She didn't make a move, but instead looked at him incredulously. Edward made an irritated sound before turning around and walking back to me. Leah waited at the door for a few seconds longer before marching inside, never tearing her gaze away from Edward and Rosalie.

Just barely in the room, Leah met my stare and I saw her eyes narrow slightly. She opened her mouth furiously, but Edward spoke up first.

"You don't have a reason to be angry with Bella," he said simply, though I could hear an edge of anger in his voice.

"_I _don't. But, _he _does. And since Jacob doesn't seem to want to get her out of her own selfish little world—" she started, never looking away from me.

"I've already heard your thoughts on the subject. I don't think that you understand the situation as a whole. Only parts of it." Edward was clenching his fists tightly in a ball, tensing up.

Leah didn't bother to respond to his opinion. Instead she turned back to me. "Did you even bother to find out why he left? Well here's a one word answer for you: _you_." She paused for a second as I took that in. Then, she pretty much exploded. "You screw everybody's lives up, and somehow, you make it look you're some sort of martyr in the process! Tell me, how does that work? Why do you think you're the most selfless person on the planet, when you did what anybody else would do? Okay, so you're having the baby. Well you're the one that got pregnant with it in the first place! Isn't that what any mother would do? _I _would. Hell, I think even your blonde bloodsucking friend over here would do it."

Edward had tried to interrupt multiple times, but Leah wasn't having any of it. I could see that she was determined that nothing would be left unsaid.

I sniffed, my nose suddenly runny. I could feel tears starting to prickle in the corner or my eyes and a sob rising up in my throat. Feeling sick to my stomach, I bit my lip.

Leah paused to take a breath and Edward cut in. "That's enough. You don't have any _idea_ what—"

Leah just plowed right on. "Do you even _realize _what he goes through on a daily basis for you? You perfect husband leaves you and _Jake _is the one that made you sane again." I felt myself cringe, remembering those horrible months. Leah didn't seem to notice as she continued ranting, "But how do you repay him? You screw him over the first chance you get, make a mistake, and then expect him to pick up the pieces _again_. Who cares that he had to split up with the boys who are like his brothers, right? And it doesn't matter that he hasn't been able to see his dad for weeks. He should drop _his _life because _you _messed up yours!"

"N-No," I managed to get out, starting to bawl. "I d-don't think that he should—"

"Sure, you say that _now_. But when he's gone, trying to get away from all the pain you force him to deal with, you pout over here until he comes to wait on you again, don't you?"

I closed my eyes. She was right. Sure, I didn't pout, but I did sort of rely on his presence. I took our friendship for granted. I took _him_ for granted.

"_Out_," Edward growled dangerously through clenched teeth. "That's. It. _Out_."

I opened my eyes in time to see Leah curtly turn away from me and start to stalk towards the door.

"Tell h-him that I'm s-sorry," I whispered, knowing that it wouldn't change anything and that a simple 'sorry' could never account for everything that I'd made him shoulder in the time that we'd been friends.

"You can tell him that yourself," she snapped, stepping out the door and slamming it behind her.


	32. So Called Selfishness

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine, Twilight is. (Yoda time! Woot.)**

* * *

What are you supposed to say after you've had reality come up and smack you in the face so hard that it made you sick to your stomach just to think about? I didn't have the slightest idea and I guessed that Rosalie was in the same boat as I was.

Edward was a different story. Under his breath, he was mumbling a few choice words for Leah. I turned to stare at him, wondering how he could be mad at _her _when she didn't do anything but put the cold, hard truth out there for me to see. True, she was harsh, but I think that that was what I needed.

Sensing my gaze, Edward turned to face me. His jaw visibly clenched as I felt another fresh wave of tears spill over. As I hastily moved my shaking hands up to wipe them away, Edward took a step towards me and grasped both of them.

"She's wrong, Bella. Don't listen to her," he murmured, causing my bottom lip to start trembling. Feeling a painful lump in my throat, I didn't bother trying to respond. I knew that as soon as I said a word, I would fall apart. Well…I'd fall apart _more_.

"She's an idiot," Rosalie added disdainfully, glaring at the front door. I still didn't say anything, forcing the sobs down. She saw my expression and said, "You can't be taking her seriously." I remained silent."Come _on_, she just came into some stranger's house to yell at someone that she's met, what, once? Twice, maybe? Who is she to judge?"

I swallowed, before choking out, "S-She at least knows w-what's going on in his head when Jake's not t-_trying_ to look like he's okay." I hiccupped and Edward gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have let her inside when I knew what she was thinking. I didn't think that she would actually…" Edward trailed off, fury flashing across his face.

I shook my head, almost wishing that we could all just be quiet again. I think that I liked it better than hearing the whole "_you_ didn't do anything wrong, blame _me_" story. I'd heard that enough times, but I couldn't name one time where it was actually accurate.

I got my wish as silence filled the room again, only interrupted by the occasional hiccup, sniffle, or sob from me. I couldn't get that last picture of Jake out of my head. The way that his eyes were blazing, his face scrunched up in pain…At that thought, another sob rose up in my throat.

"W-Where is he?" I asked. Edward looked away from me, clearly trying to decide whether or not he wanted to answer. When he just sighed and said nothing, I pressed, "Where did h-he go?"

"Bella…I don't know where he went," he responded slowly, watching to see if that comment bothered me. I wasn't thrilled with his answer, but I wasn't about to demand that Edward get in a car and drive around until he found him. As long as the place he went was better for him than here, I was okay.

Now was the time for the big question. "What happened?" Edward didn't even seem to consider answering. He just shook his head at me, looking a little bit uncomfortable. "I know that you k-know, Edward. Please don't try t-to protect me or m-make me feel better or something. I could see how m-much he was hurting, I just don't know w-_why._"

Edward finally looked back at me and took a deep breath, before cautiously explaining, "Jacob felt…betrayed, I suppose. He saw how…It was just hard on him." With no idea where he was going with that, I waited for him to continue. After another minute of silence, I realized that that was all he was going to tell me.

"I don't understand." I waited another second before prompting, "Edward."

Edward sighed, and then said, "He saw how happy we were, how happy _I _was, while he was still…It caught him off guard."

So…Jake felt betrayed… because… Edward was happy. Maybe I was missing something, but I was still waiting for a light bulb moment.

Abruptly, Rosalie snorted, causing Edward and I to turn to look at her. "It must be in the dog gene," she said bitterly.

"What?" I asked.

"Being selfish. It must just be some wolf thing." Her comment rubbed me the wrong way, but Rosalie didn't seem to notice as she continued on. "First, you've got the one who keeps coming in, stinking up the house and eating all our food. Then in comes his psycho sister who likes to critique other people's lives when she doesn't have a clue what she's talking about. Now we've got one who likes to watch people have miserable lives. I think they're all messed up in the head."

I glowered over at her. "Rosalie, we _like _having Seth here. And Leah had a perfectly good reason to come over and 'critique' my life. And Jake…" I didn't think that I should even have to defend him. "I'm not even going to start."

Rosalie looked at me in bewilderment. Obviously, she hadn't thought that she was going to be challenged, especially by me. Really, we'd been getting along pretty well throughout the pregnancy, being on the same side and all.

"Leave Jake alone, Rose. Please. He didn't do anything wrong," I added, with a little bit more of an edge on my words than I intended to have.

I could see that she was getting irritated with me. "I don't get it. How do you not see what a pain in the butt he is?"

I didn't get a chance to respond as EJ chose that moment to give me a little kick. It really wasn't all that bad compared to the other ones, but it still made me realize that I wasn't doing any good, fighting with Rosalie. I wasn't changing her mind about Jake, just pissing her off.

Edward let go of one of my hands, gently putting his hand over the stinging spot on my stomach.

"I don't think that he likes the arguing," he said softly. Rosalie and I both fell silent. "He can tell when you're upset, Bella." Here, he gave Rose a pointed look. She just shrugged back at him.

"Sorry," she cooed. I could tell by her tone that she wasn't apologizing to me or Edward. That didn't matter so much to me, though. As long as she wasn't slamming Jake anymore, I was happy enough.


	33. Surprise, Surprise

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight is still not mine. **

"What's EJ thinking now?" I asked, knowing that his thought probably hadn't changed in the few seconds since the last time that I'd asked. Really, the only major change in his thoughts was a few hours ago, when he hadn't liked that I was upset. Other than that, he was generally a pretty happy baby.

"I…" Edward began, listening intently. "He's getting thirsty."

In an instant, Rosalie was on her feet to refill my cup again. I held it out, felt a small gush of wind, and saw that both Rose and the cup were gone from sight.

"She's definitely enthusiastic about her job, isn't she?" I said, giggling quietly. Immediately, I started internally kicking myself. It just felt wrong to be sitting here laughing, while Jake was out somewhere, doing who knows what.

"What's wrong?" Edward didn't miss a thing.

Shrugging, I answered, "Nothing, I was just…thinking about Jake. It's been hours." With every passing minute, it seemed more and more likely that Jacob wasn't going to come back. That he was really gone. But then again, he was driving a car that wasn't his and Jake wasn't really the type to jack a car.

Edward nodded slowly, just as Rosalie came back and handed me my now-filled cup. I took a sip, my thoughts still on Jake.

A few minutes later, I felt EJ starting to move. I sucked in a deep breath, expecting pain. EJ usually did _something _when I drank blood. Most of the time, he just kicked a little bit, which I was used to. But, every once in a while, he'd start stretching. It felt like he was beginning to do that now.

Edward must have seen my anticipation because he sat up a little bit straighter, grabbed my hand, and said, "He's stretching, isn't he?" I silently nodded, grinding my teeth together. Solemnly, he continued, "Is there anything I can do?"

"No, he'll be done in…just a second," I answered, panting slightly. "Don't worry…" I grunted as EJ moved again. "…about it."

Suddenly, EJ was almost completely still and I started panicking. Had I done something to make EJ just freeze like that? It'd never happened before.

I looked over at Edward for an explanation. "What's he—" I broke off at the look on Edward's face. It was almost entirely smooth, with just a small hint of tension leftover. His eyes were far away, like he was spacing out. Something like wonder or awe flashed across his face.

"He…he knows. I mean, he understands. What we're saying," Edward wasn't making a lot of sense, but he still had that preoccupied look on his face, suggesting that he wasn't paying attention to what he was saying at all.

"What do you mean, 'he understands'?" Rosalie demanded, taking a step closer to us.

Edward blinked a few times and then turned to face me. "The baby knows that he's hurting you."

"He's not _really_—" I defended automatically.

"No, no, that's not what I'm saying," he cut in gently. "He understands that, by stretching, he's hurting you." Edward paused and glanced over at Rose. "Exactly."

I looked over at her as well to see that she had a look of shock on her face similar to Edward's. "Exactly what?" I asked, trying to watch both of them at the same time.

"Bella, he knows what we're saying! EJ can hear us and actually _comprehend _the conversation." Rose stopped explaining to look down at my stomach and start talking to EJ softly under her breath about what a smart little baby he was.

"To a certain extent," Edward added as I felt my eyebrows shoot up. "He seems to understand the general gist of the conversations. He realizes that I'm listening to his thoughts, for example."

I was speechless. That was definitely a twist that I wasn't expecting; I don't think that any of us were. We sure had a lot of explaining to do when the rest of the Cullens came back from hunting.

"Just a few days..." I heard Rose murmur lovingly, still to EJ.

"No, not a few _days_, Rosalie," Edward corrected. We both looked at him in surprise. Surely he wasn't thinking that I had a week or more until the delivery? We had already planned out the timeline and everything. EJ was coming. Soon. He expanded, "Obviously, the baby is even farther along than we thought. Now that we know better, it wouldn't make any sense to continue waiting for the time to come naturally."

"What are you saying?" I asked, not liking the place where he seemed to be going. If Edward thought that I was going to put EJ in danger and have him too early because it wasn't completely safe to wait, there were going to be some problems.

Calmly, Edward explained, "I'm going to talk to Carlisle when he gets back about doing the delivery immediately."

I almost gagged on my drink, which I had unwisely taken a sip of while Edward was still talking.

Almost simultaneously, Rose and I exclaimed, "_What_?!" I wasn't angry necessarily, but there was definitely an irritated undertone to Rosalie's voice.

Edward didn't bother acknowledging that Rose had said anything. "This whole thing has been dangerous enough, Bella. It's insanity to just sit around, waiting for the normal birthing time."

"There's no problem with wai—"

"Rosalie," Edward cut her off coolly. "There _is _a problem with waiting. I just explained why, for Bella's safety, we can't wait much longer."

"Edward…" I started reasoning carefully. "I don't see what waiting a few days would hurt. Will it really make that much of a difference?"

"I thought that you changed your mind," Rosalie voiced with a scowl, before Edward could respond. He grimaced as he looked over at her, and I didn't need to wonder what she was thinking about. Rose was probably not-so-subtly reminding him of his…anti-EJ days. I didn't like looking back and thinking about that time, so I doubted that he did either.

"I did," Edward responded simply, turning his back on her. He put one hand on the side of my face, before saying, "Please, just trust me on this, Bella. I'm not trying to hurt the baby. I promise. I'm only trying to keep _both_ of you safe at the same time."

I stared at him for a minute, but didn't detect a flicker of ingenuity. Edward really meant what he said. I sighed and asked, "You're absolutely _sure_ that we're not being premature about this?"

"Yes," he promptly replied. "I think that we're at the point that we don't need to worry about being too early. I can't imagine that he's not fully developed by now."

"Okay," I agreed, sighing again. "As soon as Carlisle gets back?"

"As soon as Carlisle gets back," Edward confirmed, while Rosalie continued gazing skeptically at him.


	34. Jake's Return

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine….again. No way, Jose.**

I'm not quite sure what woke me up. It could have been the somewhat gentle nudging coming from EJ, the fact that my Volturi-filled dreams were not so pleasant, or that I hadn't had a sip of blood since I'd fallen asleep. Based on the empty feeling in my stomach, my lack of drinking was probably the best bet.

It took me a minute, but I realized that I heard two female voices in the room. I could definitely hear Rose and it sounded like the other one belonged to Alice. I gradually opened my eyes, adjusting to the light. I took a quick look around and instantly noticed something missing. No Edward. That was weird.

Alice noticed that I was awake first. "Hey," she greeted with a small smile. By the way she was watching me carefully, I could guess that she had already been told about the eventful day that she'd missed while she was away hunting with the rest of the family.

I grinned back, thrilled that the Cullens clearly hadn't run into any trouble with the pack, like they were worried about. Especially when, after Leah's little tirade, Rosalie's hostility towards them was at its peak point. If anything had happened to anyone in the family on their account, I wouldn't put it past her to bite the head off of the next non-family member to walk into the house. Seth, most likely.

"Where's Edward?" I asked, looking down the hall and checking around the room to see if I'd just missed him. At that thought, I almost laughed out loud. It probably wasn't humanly possible to glance right by Edward without noticing him.

Rosalie indicated the hall that Jake had departed from. "In the garage," she muttered with a scowl, wrinkling up her nose. Wait…I knew that look. It was one that she reserved for any member of the pack. Not noticing (or possibly just ignoring) my confusion, she commented, "I didn't think that you'd be up for another couple of hours. It looked like you were pretty out to me."

I nodded. "I know. I was pretty tired after…everything. It's just been a while since I drank anything, so I couldn't stay asleep for too long."

Rose immediately handed me my cup, saying smugly, "I filled it up while you were sleeping. I knew that he'd want more soon."

"Well, I guess you're right," I replied, not needing to ask who the 'he' that she was referring to was. Just by the adoration in her tone, it was blatantly obvious.

As I took a drink, Rosalie's face lit up, probably in response to what I'd said. Whenever she predicted EJ's thoughts or needs or wants, she started glowing. I guessed that she was proud because she felt that she understood him just as well as his own mother would. I wasn't so sure about that, but I wasn't going to say anything. I didn't need another argument with Rose right before EJ was born. We'd all gotten past the whole tension-filled, cold, fighting phase a long time ago and I wasn't looking to bring it back. One time was more than enough.

I felt a tiny draft just as I heard the garage door fly open. Edward hurried into the room, swiftly sitting on the floor near my head so that I wouldn't need to sit up. I briefly considered protesting, but it really was a pain in the butt to sit up when my stomach was so huge. It kind of hurt my back.

"Bella, love, I thought you were sleeping. I'm sorry, I wouldn't have left," he said, genuinely looking apologetic.

I frowned, feeling guilty that he felt bad for taking a step outside for just a minute. There wasn't anything wrong with that. "Don't worry. I just got so thirsty—it woke me up. It's a good thing Carlisle is bringing more. This kid is going to need it when he gets out of me."

"True. That's a good point," Edward agreed.

"I wonder if he'll want anything else," I murmured, the same old questions popping up again. I had a lot of questions, with very few answers. Edward had told me recently that Jasper and Emmett were almost always upstairs doing research, but I guess that there wasn't much to work with. That wasn't some huge disappointment because we all knew that this wasn't exactly common. Sure, there were legends and myths, but those weren't necessarily reliable sources.

"I suppose we'll find out."

"Finally," Alice said, causing me to look away from Edward and up towards the garage door to see Jake making his way towards us. I beamed; a knee-jerk reaction. Then, upon looking closer, I remembered why he'd left in the first place. Leah's voice echoed in my head, as if she was standing right next to me. _Do you even _realize _what he goes through on a daily basis for you?_

Honestly? I wasn't so sure that I did. Sure, I knew that I was a lousy friend that caused more problems than anything, but I'd never seen Jake fall apart like he did. Was he like that a lot when he wasn't around me? Well, if he was, I couldn't blame him. I don't think that anyone could. I felt a new lump rise up in my throat, the corners of my eyes starting to tickle. That feeling was all too familiar.

"Hey, Bells. How ya doing?" he asked hastily, seeing the look on my face and interpreting it correctly.

"I'm fine," I answered, watching him carefully. The real question was how _he _was doing, but I knew that if I simply asked him, he'd lie. I'd be more useful to just look for subtle things that he might unintentionally give away.

"Big day, huh? Lots of new stuff," Jake stated, falsely cheery.

"You don't have to do that, Jacob," I said flatly.

"Don't know what you're talking about," he responded, still trying to sound upbeat. He took a few long strides and took a seat on the arm of the couch.

I glowered at him. Of course he knew what I was talking about. His whole 'I just went out for a nice, relaxing drive. It's got nothing to do with you' act wasn't what I was looking for. I think I'd like it better if he started ranting like Leah. He'd earned that right a long time ago.

"I'm _so_ s—" I began, already knowing that he was going to cut me off. He wasn't just going to make this easy and take the apology. No way.

And I was right, though he did get creative and just pinched my lips together so I couldn't talk, instead of actually trying to convince me not to feel guilty. That was probably better. Still, I brought my hand up to pull his away, muttering his name.

Jacob shook his head. "You can talk when you're not being stupid."

If I wasn't feeling sick with guilt, I probably would have smiled. Or pouted. Either one. Instead, I just grumbled, "Fine, I won't say it." He must've believed me because, after only hesitating for a second, he pulled his hand back. Without giving him a chance to say or do anything to stop me, I finished, "Sorry!" That grin that I'd been pushing back finally came through. My smile widened as he rolled his eyes and beamed back at me.

We all fell silent, so abruptly that there was almost some awkwardness to it. I could feel both Edward and Jake's gazes on me, though I did my best to ignore them. I was pretty used to being under scrutiny by now.

After a few more wordless seconds, I turned to Jacob and asked, "So, how was your day?" Jake should have pinched my lips together again, if I was only allowed to talk when I wasn't 'being stupid'. If that wasn't an idiotic move, even for me, I didn't know what was. Of all the ways to break the silence…

"Great. Went for a drive. Hung out in the park," he responded calmly.

"Sounds nice." Based on the way that he'd exited earlier, there was a pretty good chance that it wasn't 'nice'. Still, this was a relatively normal conversation. It seemed to me that Jake and I had been lacking those recently.

"Sure, sure."

It was right about then that I realized how much blood I'd drunk. "Rose?" I pleaded, almost flushing.

Rosalie started laughing, understanding what I was hinting at. "Again?" she asked, already stepping closer to me.

"I think I've drunk two gallons in the last hour," I said. I'd gone on a little chugging spree before I'd dozed off _and_ my cup was already getting low. Rose didn't respond, but instead prepared to pick me up. I forced back a grimace.

"Can I walk? My legs are so stiff," I asked. Walking would be a challenge and not entirely painless, but stretching my sore legs was too appealing to pass up.

"Are you sure?" Edward cut in doubtfully, looking concerned.

"Rose'll catch me if I trip over my feet. Which could happen pretty easily, since I can't see them," I said, taking a quick look down at my stomach. Heck, I could trip over my own feet pretty easily anyway, whether they were visible or not. I was just lucky that way.

Rose stood me up, placing a strong hand on my shoulder, making sure I didn't topple over before I even got the chance to take a step. I stretched my arms out. They were almost as sore as my legs.

"That feels good. Ugh, but I'm huge." I glanced down again. I still wasn't anywhere close to being used to the extra weight. But, pretty soon, that'd be gone. "One more day. All righty, then." I took a tentative step forward, letting all of my weight off of the couch without thinking. A second later, my cup had fallen over, blood pouring out all over the sofa. "Whoops—oh no!"

I leaned as far forward as I could, trying to undo the damage. That was definitely going to stain.

Just then, inside of me, something… _tore_. I gasped faintly, unable to say a word. In a flash, I couldn't see or hear. I couldn't talk or think. The pain. That's all there was. Horror. Agony. Anguish. I didn't even have the time to feel any fear.

Time seemed to pass in a surreal way. I might have screamed. I couldn't really tell, and I didn't care.

And then, everything disappeared.

**THE END**

**So, tomorrow, I'm going to be posting an author's note chapter. If you don't want to read it, obviously you don't have to (I promise I won't hunt you down). But, it does have some stuff concerning this story, so it should be good to check out. There are also some deleted scenes headed your way, so this story isn't **_**technically **_**over. And yes, the birthing scene **_**is**_** one of those deleted scenes.**


	35. Last Author's Note

**Did you guys know that six months ago from today I posted the first chapter of this story? And yes, I did try to finish this thing by today. So, if you're wondering why I was putting out these last few chapters out so fast, now you know. **

**Anyway, first and foremost, I want to thank all of you guys who've put up with me, maybe even since the very beginning of this story. It's thanks to you guys that I actually finished it ^_^ All 122 pages of it. And yes, that's not BS. **

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Anyhoo, I made a little list of scenes that I didn't really include in this story that would probably have been in BD. If you'd be interested in seeing any of these as "deleted scenes" let me know. And if any of these do sound good to you, I'll try to write a chapter and put it up here, but I probably won't do it **_**too **_**often. Maybe just when I'm going through withdrawal from this story ;)**

**-Bella convinces Edward to let her talk to Charlie and Renee**

**-Bella talks about seeing Charlie again **

**-First phone call with Renee**

**-Phone calls with Charlie**

**-Phone calls with Renee**

**-Bella wakes up to hear Edward shouting at Rose about her "lack of interest in Bella's well-being"**

**-Bella thinks that Alice is avoiding her**

**-Leah and Edward's conversation outside (From chapter 33) (Not BPOV)**

**-Birthing Scene (possibly from another POV, I'd have to mess around with it a little bit)**

**If there are any scenes that I forgot, feel free to tell me about those, too =)**

****

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**I'm also kicking around a couple of story ideas and, if you want, I'd love to hear **your opinions on those. I'm looking at…

**-An ****Eclipse**** AU in which Jake accidently hurt Bella a little bit, which means that Edward would refuse to let the werewolves help with Victoria, which would just create lots of fun drama =D We all know how I love drama and angst.**

**-A Harry Potter thing. lol, for now I'll just say it's Harry Potter, after ****Deathly Hallows****. I haven't really gotten the details figured out yet.**

**-A ****Breaking Dawn**** AU in which Bella does actually have a boy. That would mean that Jake wouldn't imprint on Renesmee, so we're looking at some serious conflict with the pack. (thanks to Leon McFrenchington for the idea ^_^)**

**-An after ****Breaking Dawn**** type of story where the Volturi come back and "try to pick them off, one-by-one" as said by Edward somewhere in BD**

**-Possibly something for Breakfast Club (AWESOME movie)**

****

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Lastly, whether you've reviewed thus far or not, I'd love to hear about which chapter you liked the best, stuff that was good with this that I should bring to my other stories, what you didn't like, all that fun stuff. This **_**is **_**my first FanFiction story, so I know there are lots of things that I have to work on still. Remember, I _am _still hoping to reach 600 reviews. Just be nice about it please ^_^ And no, I don't consider "You Suck" to be nice ;) Good try. **

**-taylorjeanjn =D**

**P.S. I'm planning on going back and editing and fixing some of my old chapters to make them better, so if you, for some reason, go back and find some stuff missing or added, you know why. **

**(oh and HI MANDINA AND DEVON –waves frantically like an idiot-) Don't ask.**


	36. A Beginning and an End

**This chapter is the birth scene from BPOV. This is for the number of you guys that asked me to write it. I didn't realize that so many of you were looking forward to my version of it. And just as a heads up, it's pretty morbid. And when I say morbid, I do mean morbid, even for me. Oh, and the sections **_**are **_**supposed to be a little bit short and choppy, because Bella's pretty out of it. **

**Well anyways, I hope I don't disappoint with it. I guess we'll see.**

It was in that moment that I was sure that I was dead. This was what death had to be like. But, there was no sense of peace that one would expect. Just Blankness. No "life-flashing-before-your-eyes" moment. Only nothingness. No enormous epiphany. Emptiness.

I was alone. It seemed that even my own body had abandoned me, leaving me my thoughts only. I was trapped in a stifling wasteland. Suffocating.

I didn't like death.

* * *

I tasted blood and somewhere far away, I heard feverish, muffled speaking. The words morphed together into a single voice of panic.

But whatever terror the people talking were currently feeling, it couldn't come close to topping how _I _was. I was spinning out of control. My body was so heavy and I knew that it wouldn't be long before the weight crushed me entirely.

Was this death's sick idea of a game? To tease me? To advance, close enough that I could sense it towering over me threateningly?

Death was cruel.

* * *

Or maybe death had the right idea. I guessed that my body hadn't abandoned me after all, though now I wished that it had. My wasteland wasn't such a bad place.

I wanted the numbness to return. Now, I was anything but numb. Agony coursed through every fiber of my being; in my bones, my blood, my muscles, and everything in between.

Suddenly, magnified voices broke through. With the unendurable pain, it was a wonder I could focus enough to remember my own name, let alone comprehend what they were saying. But somehow, I did. Well, at least to the point that I had a basic grasp on the conversation, despite the fact that the voices kept fading in and out.

"What's…Edward…?"

"…Suffocating…"

"…Placenta… detached…"

My eyes flew open as I pieced the phrases together. A hazy memory came back to me, and I remembered the ripping inside of me. I felt lightheaded as I realized what that had meant. And what it meant now.

"Get him _out_! He can't _breath_! Do it _NOW_!" I shrieked, praying that the words had actually escaped from my mouth. I couldn't be sure. Heck, I didn't know if any of this was even real. It was foggy and surreal, as though I was living in a dreamland. Well…not a dream land. A land of nightmares.

Edward's face came into my line of vision, clearly saying _something_; his mouth was moving. But everything was silent. Desperation fell over me as I realized that I had fallen deaf again.

When he made no move to save EJ, I realized that he was _protesting_.

"NO! _NOW_—" I gagged as something warm rose up in my throat, obstructing it. I couldn't breath.

Black spots began clouding my vision, growing larger and larger. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a roof, taking tiny steps forward, already knowing that I was going to fall over the edge.

I wanted to reach forward through the darkness. To find Edward. I didn't want to slip back into nothingness anymore. I didn't want to be alone. If Edward just stayed with me, if I could just hold on…

I opened my eyes. Everything was white, which made no sense. How could this never ending anguish run through me, yet the world around me could be so light?

"You…with…Bella…" Someone said forcefully. As the person continued talking, their voice grew louder and clearer until I realized that it was coming from right beside me. It was Jake. He was still here, even now.

And he wasn't alone.

"Renesmee," I heard Edward say gently.

I had a baby girl. The thought echoed through my mind. _I had a baby girl._ And something inside of me knew that it was just…_right_.

I wanted nothing more than to just hold her. To see her and cradle her in my arms. "Let me…Give her to me," I murmured.

I blindly reached forward and Edward handed her to me. Slowly, Renesmee came into focus, and as I held her, I decided that there wasn't anything in the world that would make me give up this moment. Not being immortal. Not beating death. This meant so much more than that. I loved her so much. "Renes…mee. So…beautiful," I whispered.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp stab of pain on my chest and, in the next second, Renesmee disappeared. Anger raged through me. Why was she gone? Who thought that they had the right to snatch her away from me? I wanted her back; it just didn't feel right without her.

My vision faded out, and then my hearing. Gradually, I lost any sense that I had of myself. Then, the inevitable happened. I had known that I was stepping further and further towards the edge. Now it was time to take the plunge.


	37. The Jacobs of the World

**This scene is the one with Edward and Leah when they're outside. Now you can actually know what they're saying, even if you do have sucky hearing like Bella ^_^**

"…course," A voice said from somewhere inside the house, as Leah in wolf-form, made her way towards the front door. "What happened? Why did Jake just…What?"

Leah rolled her eyes, finally able to place the voice. It belonged to the girl that she just couldn't seem to get away from. Sharing Jacob's thoughts had never been pleasant before, but recently it'd been downright miserable. _Every single one_ was devoted to this girl who was headed down a one-way road to death, and by her own free will, too.

In all honesty, Leah would've done the same thing that Bella was doing if she was in her position. Just with less whining, crying, and ridiculous dependency on anybody who was enough of a pushover to put up with her.

_And_ Leah wouldn't manipulate the people who were dropping their lives for her. She wouldn't take advantage of the Jacobs of the world. They might be a pain in the ass, but they shouldn't have to give their heart, soul, and mind to someone that didn't give them anything in return.

The Jacobs of the world were the type that gave everything they had to someone who would change their mind on a mere whim. Someone who would drop them on their ass. Someone who would abandon them for someone else…

Cullen's voice cut through Leah's thoughts. "I'll be right back, Bella."

Leah instantly stopped just before she reached the porch steps, narrowing her eyes at that stupid name. '_Bella'_. Ugh.

Cullen stepped out onto the porch, and Leah realized that he didn't look anything like the Edward that she'd been seeing through Jacob's head. Leah decided that she didn't actually care if something had changed with the leech, so she moved right on to the interrogation._ Where is he?_ She thought, standing alertly. _And pull anything, Bloodsucker, and I swear—_

"Jacob is getting away for a little while," Edward interrupted carefully, keeping eye contact.

_That's helpful_, Leah thought with a scowl. _Okay, _why _does he need to get away? What changed?_

Edward hesitated. "He couldn't stay in the room. There was just too… much pain for him there."

_There's always pain there. I know that's not all there is to it._

"You're right," Edward admitted, still not blinking. "Bella…well the baby…"

Leah tensed up, finally able to place her finger on the difference between the vampire standing in front of her and the version of him that had been haunting Jacob's thoughts and memories these past few weeks. Now, he didn't look so suicidal and desperate.

_The 'baby', huh? Jacob always said that you hated it just as much as he did. But I never heard _him _call it a 'baby' like you just did._

"I don't hate him. I was wrong before." Edward's voice was soft as he grimaced at the harsh reminder of his less-than-honorable behavior before.

Again, Leah decided that she didn't give a crap. _Well, interesting as that is, I'm here about Jacob. I saw him hit the road just now and he looked pretty messed up to me. Seth saw it, too. And I _know_ Jake wouldn't just leave the girl when she doesn't look like she's got much time left. _

A look of shock flashed across Edward's face, as though he'd been doused in freezing water. "She _does_ have time left," he contradicted after getting past Leah's blunt and cruel remark. "The baby's going to be born and Bella is going to be fine."

Leah could've kicked herself for bringing up that dreaded name. _So you're playing Daddy Cullen now? _Edward nodded politely, though his expression was dark. _Why the sudden change of heart?_

"I can…hear the baby. Well, I can hear his thoughts."

Leah's thoughts turned sharp. _The baby's not just some killer so, all the sudden, you love it, right?_

"I just didn't understand. Now I do."

_What did Jacob think about your out-of-the-blue devotion to your kid?_

"He felt…Well, he..." The bloodsucker cleared his throat, with an expression that Leah couldn't read. He sucked in a breath, and said, "Jacob thought that, when it came to Bella, I would always have to shoulder more than he would. But when I—"

_Of course. It all leads back to the amazing Bella_. Leah thought sarcastically. She mentally swore, knowing that it wasn't really the bloodsucker's fault at all that Jacob was going through hell. Leah could chalk it all up to the self-centered brat of a girl who had the world handed to her with everything made, but _chose_ to just make it difficult on everyone. Leah just didn't understand how everybody else thought that she was some sort of saint because she did the sensible thing that anybody else would do if they were in her position.

Leah abruptly turned around and walked away, far enough that she could be sure the bloodsucker wouldn't get an eyeful.

Without pausing to think about it, Leah transformed back into her normal self, hastily threw some clothes on, and marched up to the house. The door was still open slightly and she took that as enough of an invitation to waltz right inside and give that Bella what she deserved; a good, hard reality check. Maybe it'd even do her some good.


	38. The Dreaded Moment

**Why hello! Well, this deleted scene had to be the most requested, so I felt like I owed it to you guys. This is my take on the birthing scene from Edward's POV, starting immediately after she fainted the first time. I really hope it doesn't suck. ^_^**

* * *

I was entirely oblivious to my child's panicky thoughts. I didn't notice that Jacob's mind had gone blank. Though Rosalie was nearly screaming obscenities in her head, I heard nothing more than a quiet hum.

All of my thoughts were on Bella.

She was shuddering and squirming as Rosalie tried to hold her still. Her vacant expression was enough of an indicator that something had gone terribly wrong. Her face was deathly white, but that was perhaps because of the contrast between her skin and the blood that was cascading down her body. I felt myself tense up and, for a few ridiculous seconds, my only thought was to reach out and take her from Rosalie. To hold her in my arms, somehow calming her uncontrollable twitching in the process.

Eventually, I was able to comprehend what had just occurred; a second later, I was racing up the stairs with Rosalie just a step behind. I was vaguely aware that she was shouting inquiries, though I couldn't bring myself to listen, let alone respond. I didn't have the time or patience to answer; I wasn't overly worried about getting Rosalie up-to-date.

They were both dying. My child couldn't breathe and was doing whatever he could to save himself. And in doing so, he was unknowingly killing Bella.

Time was my enemy. With each passing second, Bella's body thrashed harder and harder. I was painfully aware that her bones were snapping and breaking, and at a rate that could easily be fatal.

I needed to get the baby out before I lost them both. "Morphine!" I instructed Rosalie, throwing the door open to the labor room that Carlisle had set up just before he'd left on his hunting trip.

Since the second I'd realized that I was fighting a losing battle when it came to the pregnancy, this was been the moment that I'd been dreading.

Of course, we had planned the birth out beforehand, down to the last second, but I'd always assumed that Carlisle would be there to help me. I realized that I had foolishly relied on him throughout the whole process. And now, when Bella's life was truly on the line, I would have to rely on no one but myself. That thought evoked both horror and determination within me.

I would be alone, but I _would_ save her.

Rosalie threw a morphine-filled syringe at me and I caught it, leaping into action. I found the crook of Bella's arm and carefully pushed the syringe into it, releasing the morphine into her blood.

As Rosalie franticly tore at Bella's clothes, she asked, "What's _happening_, Edward?"

"He's suffocating!"

"The placenta must have detached!" she said hysterically, looking at Bella's stomach in horror.

Bella's eyes flew open. In a voice that I'd never heard before, she screeched, "Get him OUT! He can't BREATHE! Do it NOW!"

"The morphine—" I began, in as comforting a voice as I could manage.

"NO! NOW—" Unable to finish talking, she made a gagging noise as blood obstructed her airway. Without even the slightest bit of composure, I leaned forward, holding her head up like I'd been taught to do in medical school years ago. A feeling of relief spread through me as, though with difficulty, her chest did rise and fall.

I took my hand and gently wiped some of the newer blood away from her lips and nose, willing her to hold on. To stay with me for a few more minutes.

My thoughts were interrupted as, out of my peripheral vision, Rosalie emerged with a scalpel. In disbelief, I growled, "Let the morphine spread!"

"There's no time. He's dying!" she countered in an equally dark tone. Briefly, I considered knocking the scalpel out of her hand, but upon contemplating her comment, I understood that she was right. Bella would never forgive me if our child suffered because I was overly cautious. And I would never forgive myself, either.

I looked away as Rosalie stepped closer with the scalpel, instead deciding to focus on Bella's face. Again, I realized just how much she meant to me.

I'd never met someone so selfless and beautiful and forgiving. It was still a mystery to me what I had ever done in my life to earn her. That was a question I had frequently visited during the peaceful nights when I'd held her as she slept, but I'd eventually come to the conclusion that there was no real answer. I just learned to appreciate what I had and cherish every moment with her.

Suddenly, one word from Rosalie's thoughts crossed through my mind. _Blood_.

"No, Rose!" I shouted instantly, understanding exactly what she was planning to do.

Jacob was crashing into Rosalie before she got the chance to take another step closer.

As they began to struggle, I felt yet another surge of gratitude for him. Realizing that he had the situation under control, I turned back to Bella. I swallowed, watching her face turn into a light blue color. Our time was running out.

I turned back towards the door to find that Alice had joined the fight and was holding Rose by the throat. Thank God there were three of us. "Alice, get her out of here! Take her to Jasper and keep her there!" Alice nodded quickly in response so I moved on. "Jacob, I need you!"

He spun around without a word and hastily made his way over to me. A look of trepidation crossed his face as he took in her color. "CPR?" I asked flatly.

"Yes!"

I turned away from him, taking a step closer to Bella's stomach. "Get her breathing! I've got to get him out before—"

A snapping noise from somewhere inside Bella interrupted me. I closed my eyes, taking in a shaky breath, listening for her heartbeat. When it finally came, I opened my eyes again to see that Bella's legs were unnaturally limp. As if she'd just broken…

"Her spine," I whispered, closing my eyes again. The cracking noise from a few seconds ago rang through my head. _Her spine._

"Get it _out_ of her! She won't feel anything now!" Jacob shouted, throwing the scalpel at me. I caught it and took another breath. Trying not to think or feel, I leaned over and stabbed the scalpel into her stomach. _You're saving her, _I told myself with each cut. _She's been so strong. It's your turn, now._

Not breathing, I leaned forward and tore into the membrane surrounding the baby as Bella's body continued jerking. I focused all my energy on getting the child out safely, telling myself that it would all be over soon.

At that thought, I was overcome by emotion as Bella's pregnancy flashed before my eyes. The bruises and the IVs. The throwing up and the starvation. The crying and the painful goodbyes. The multiple near-death experiences. The hopelessness. The fear. The anger.

In just a few minutes, that would all just be a memory.

With one final bite at the membrane, I finally got through to my child. I reached forward and picked him up, only to find out that he was a…she.

She had a full head of curly brown hair, just like Bella. I smiled as I realized that she also had the eyes that I'd gotten lost in so many times before. Swallowing, I murmured, "Renesmee."

I held her up to eye level and she looked right at me. Neither of us blinked. It was almost as if she understood who I was. An unexpected feeling of pride coursed through me at that thought. She already knew that I was her dad.

"Let me…Give her to me," Bella's rough voice said. My head snapped up and I saw that her eyes were open again, though she was staring unseeingly ahead.

I hesitated only for a second before obeying. Bella deserved to hold our daughter and I wasn't going to be the one to stop her.

I saw her take Renesmee into her hands lovingly. At first, I felt sick at the thought that Bella wouldn't be able to see our only child. But, somehow, she found a way. She looked our daughter over lovingly, seeming to completely forget about that pain that brought her to that moment. She held Renesmee against her chest, saying, "Renes…mee. So…beautiful."

I was sorely tempted to make my way around the bed and give them both a hug, but, with one look at Bella's mangled body, I changed my mind. This would have to be a mother-daughter moment because I was afraid that, if I touched her, I was going to break another one of her bones. She was so fragile.

Renesmee turned her head a little bit to the side and Bella gasped. A second later, I smelled fresh blood and stepped closer to Bella, seeing a crescent-shaped bite mark where Renesmee's head had just been resting. Instantly, I reached forward and took her into my arms. "No, Renesmee," I said quietly. Something told me that she understood.

And then, just like that, Bella's heart was still.

My mind and body froze, and I couldn't think. I forgot everything.

Bella was gone. Dead.

I found myself wishing that I could have a beating heart for the sole purpose that it could stop right along with hers. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to exist.

But I hadn't earned the right to an easy way out. It was my fault that her body was lifeless after just eighteen short years of living. There was no suitable punishment for a monster like me. If I could take all of the pain in the world, it wouldn't amount to even half of what I deserved for the abhorrent deeds that I had done since I'd met my Bella.

Jacob's voice brought me back to sanity. "What are you waiting for?" He demanded. I blinked a few times before looking over to see that he was giving Bella chest compressions.

I felt movement in my hands and I remembered my baby girl. "Take the baby," I commanded, my voice coming out strained.

"Throw it out the window."

I grimaced. Jacob had been so cooperative up to this point and of all the times, now was one of the worst for a relapse.

"Give her to me," Rosalie's voice said from behind me. I spun around, growling under my breath, taking a protective step closer to Bella and clutching Renesmee more tightly.

"I've got it under control. Give me the baby, Edward. I'll take care of her until Bella…"

_I'll take care of Renesmee while you help Bella, _she added mentally. _It'll be fine_.

I gave her a warning look before handing the baby over. _Thanks, _Rose thought, eagerly turning away and hurrying out the door.

I looked around on the countertop for the syringe that would both save and end Bella's life. Upon finding it, I moved next to Jacob, ordering him to move his hands.

He looked sideways at me, seeing what I was holding tightly. "What's that?"

I let out an exasperated sigh, knocking his hands away from Bella's heart. Every single second was crucial.

Reminding myself that I only had one option, I positioned the venom over her heart. Without pausing to think, I pushed down, saying, "Keep it moving."

I went on autopilot as I bit into her skin.

Knowingly, I was trapping her in a place where she couldn't escape the agony in store for her and I hated myself for it. I hated myself for ending her life and possibly damning her for all eternity.

…_Working over a corpse…It's too late…There's no reason to be here with her anymore…_ Jacob's thoughts cut into my own morbid ones.

"Go, then," I growled, batting his hands away from her chest.

…_Her dead heart…_

"She's not dead. She's going to be fine," I said fiercely, anger boiling up inside of me. I couldn't tell if it was because of Jacob's sudden abandonment of both Bella and I or if I was in denial of the situation. No, I decided, it wasn't denial. Bella was _alive_. She was going to live through this.

I was aware that Jacob had disappeared, though I refused to dwell on it. I didn't need him. I could save Bella without his help.

Her heart seemed to grow weaker.

"Bella…" I choked. "Bella, _please_…don't…"

_I'm here. I'm not leaving you_, I told her, unable to speak aloud anymore. I felt myself shaking, sobs rising up in my throat. _I love you. You've made it through so much. You can make it through this. I know you can. The venom…_

Miraculously, it was as if she heard me. The thumping of her heart became stronger, only slightly, but still _stronger_. The venom was working; she was going to make it.

* * *

**Please review! I've obviously never written for Edward before, or a guy in general, so I'd love feedback. **


	39. A Discussion

**This chapter…well, I'm not quite sure where it would fit in with ****Breaking Dawn****. It fits in shortly after the "Just Love" chapter, but before Jake returns. The idea for this chapter completely came from EbonyRose02 so kudos to her. Oh, and I just want to say that I really do appreciate all you awesome people who've given this story so much love. You guys are the only reason I wrote this chapter.**

* * *

I awkwardly shifted, making room for Edward next to me on the couch. Wordlessly, he sat down and I took a hold of his hand, gently rubbing it with my thumb. I aimlessly stared at the wall in front of me, still working to wrap my head around the sudden mood change in the house.

Edward's acceptance of EJ was how it should have been all along, and I knew that. But somehow, even though I knew that the pieces had finally fallen into place, I was still slightly dumbfounded.

I hadn't even realized the full extent of what I'd been missing until I finally got it back. When was the last time that I'd sat next to Edward on the couch, simply holding his hand because I loved him? How much time had passed since I could turn and see an Edward at peace? How long had it been since the last time that I could just close my eyes and _be_?

I glanced back over at Edward and abruptly said, "I hope he gets your hair." Though I couldn't provide much of a reason why, something told me that EJ would. Motherly instincts, I guessed.

Edward chortled and I closed my eyes, feeling a lump rise in my throat. I'd forgotten what his laugh sounded like—how he gives that lopsided grin and his eyes light up, to the point that, for a few seconds, you even forget that you've ever been hurt or sad or lonely. He's there. Edward's there, and that's all that matters.

"Bella?" Edward began, a hint of concern touching his voice. I opened my eyes as he continued, "What's wrong?"

I gave him the best smile I could manage. "Nothing. There's absolutely nothing wrong." And it wasn't a lie either. This was the farthest from _wrong_ things had been in quite a while.

Edward held my gaze unblinkingly. I swallowed. He eventually looked away, clearly upset. He took in a deep breath, looking down at his hands. He sat silently for a few seconds, thinking. Finally, he turned back to me. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I blinked. Raising an eyebrow in confusion, I questioned, "Edward?"

"I shouldn't have…I should've been there," he mumbled. I couldn't tell if he was more so talking to me or himself.

"I don't understand."

"Bella. I should've been there," Edward repeated, standing up. He began pacing. "All this time. I should have—"

Understanding where he was going with that, I cut him off. "You _were _there, Edward. You never left my side. You _know _that."

Edward shook his head, almost impatiently. "I wasn't, Bella. Well, maybe I was always there, but my presence wasn't…" He struggled for a word. "You needed me. You needed me and I–"

"Please, don't," I pleaded quietly. It was over and done with. I didn't want the memory of those last few weeks to rear its ugly head ever again.

Edward fell silent and I was relieved. We'd come dangerously close to a conversation that I had no intention of having.

This was ruined as, a few minutes later, Rosalie commented, "It _is _true."

Edward and I both looked over at her. "What is?" I asked.

Though she was responding to my question, Rosalie looked directly at Edward. "He didn't listen to me. I explained everything clearly, and he didn't listen. I _tried_ to tell him that the baby was a good thing before." She continued on, looking genuinely bothered. Her voice became more feverish. "We're so lucky to have a baby in this family. After years and _years_, I thought it wasn't going to happen."

"Rosalie…" I trailed off. With each word, the mood in the room seemed to deteriorate.

"Up until recently, _I_ was the enemy. I save a baby's life and I'm the bad one." Her voice came out choked as she went off. "You think that I'm just trying to get a kid out of the deal, Edward? I was trying to fix everything. Keep it calm. Do you even _realize_ what would've happened if Bella'd lost EJ? If you'd done that to her? How much it would have torn this family apart?"

"I know how much the baby means to Bella now," Edward told her, trying to keep a neutral expression on his face.

"You knew then, too! You just didn't care…_I'm_ not the villain, Edward."

I could see that Rosalie was almost at a breaking point, while Edward now looked furious. "Keep things calm?" he repeated, seething. "I can't remember a single thought crossing your mind about fixing everything for the rest of us."

"Then your memory is pathetic, Edward. Or selective."

"Rosalie?" I began, stopping Edward's pacing as I clutched onto his hand. "Can I talk to Edward alone for a second please?"

She looked at me in bewilderment. Finally, after shooting Edward a dirty look, she headed upstairs.

"Edward, I never saw you as the bad guy," I told him. His eyebrows furrowed in either disbelief or confusion. I bit my lip, and then truthfully added, "I just…can't understand why you wouldn't give him a chance. Why you didn't trust me." It was then that I realized that, on top of everything else, it was pretty hurtful that my own husband didn't trust that I could take care of myself. After all, even when he and I'd had a real difference of opinions, I'd always trusted him. He could get me through anything; he'd proved that time and time again. I'd always had unwavering faith in him, and it hurt to know that he didn't have the same in me.

Edward looked like I'd slapped him. "I'd trust you with my life, Bella."

"But not my own?" I countered weakly.

"It wasn't you. I…believed that you didn't understand. That Rosalie was falsely encouraging you. I was sure that she was the sole person behind everything."

"No, Edward, I called her. I asked her for help. I planned everything. It was my choice."

He thought that over. "…Why Rosalie?"

"I knew she'd help me. She understands why I loved EJ so much," I explained, a tiny smile spreading across my lips as my free hand moved to my belly. Edward gracefully sat back down next to me.

"I should've—"

"Edward, I love you," I began, interrupting again. "Nothing you did could make me stop loving you and I forgive you for whatever you think you did wrong. I'm sure that you thought you had the right idea with EJ."

Edward looked at my stomach. "I love him now, Bella. I promise you."

I swallowed, taking his face in my hands. "I believe that you always loved him, Edward. Somewhere, even if it was deep down, you loved EJ. You just didn't quite…" I trailed off.

He shook his head sadly. "I'd like to think that, Bella."

"It's true. Trust me." I exhaled sharply and, trying to lighten the mood, said, "Well, you're ahead of most guys. I heard that they usually wait to see the baby before they fall in love with him."

Edward laughed weakly, kissing me gently on the forehead and cupping my chin. He leaned forward, close to my ear. I winced, expecting another apology that I'd have to cut off. Instead, giving me another gentle kiss, he simply murmured, "I love you."

* * *

**I hope that wasn't too boring or lame sauce. I suppose that the goal was to give a little insight on the minds of Edward and Rosalie. **

**Anyways, I'm pretty sure that this is going to be my REAL last update on this story, as I can't really come up with anything else to add to it. But you never know. If you guys have any suggestions or ideas, I'd love to hear them. Please review if you want to, have got a second to spare, or just have some odd urge to click on something that says 'review'. Whatever floats your boat.**

**So, until next time,**

**Taylor ^_^**


End file.
